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Clips from Lucifer - Et Tu, Doctor? (S01E01)

Did you now?

"Did you now?"

Lucifer

But...

"But..."

Lucifer

LINDA: Nothing's wrong with her.

"LINDA: Nothing's wrong with her."

Lucifer

She's a woman balancing a lot on her plate,

"She's a woman balancing a lot on her plate,"

Lucifer

and, as far as I can tell, doing a fantastic job.

"and, as far as I can tell, doing a fantastic job."

Lucifer

Why, thank you.

"Why, thank you."

Lucifer

You're right, Lucifer, she's amazing.

"You're right, Lucifer, she's amazing."

Lucifer

No, she's verbal Ebola.

"No, she's verbal Ebola."

Lucifer

Where's the button to put the glass up?

"Where's the button to put the glass up?"

Lucifer

(scoffs) This isn't a limo, Lucifer.

"(scoffs) This isn't a limo, Lucifer."

Lucifer

And, Dr. Linda,

"And, Dr. Linda,"

Lucifer

you should really join us more often.

"you should really join us more often."

Lucifer

(scoffs, sighs)

"(scoffs, sighs)"

Lucifer

Getting double-teamed is usually much more fun than this.

"Getting double-teamed is usually much more fun than this."

Lucifer

Mm.

"Mm."

Lucifer

Gross.

"Gross."

Lucifer

So you lied to us.

"So you lied to us."

Lucifer

You were in town the day your husband died.

"You were in town the day your husband died."

Lucifer

Yes. But it's not what you think.

"Yes. But it's not what you think."

Lucifer

Okay, then help me understand.

"Okay, then help me understand."

Lucifer

Sandy, I'm on your side.

"Sandy, I'm on your side."

Lucifer

Not everything stems from jealousy,

"Not everything stems from jealousy,"

Lucifer

- no matter what these women tell you. - Hey, Lucifer...

"- no matter what these women tell you. - Hey, Lucifer..."

Lucifer

You came here driven by some kind of desire, didn't you?

"You came here driven by some kind of desire, didn't you?"

Lucifer

No.

"No."

Lucifer

Come on.

"Come on."

Lucifer

You can tell me. What was it?

"You can tell me. What was it?"

Lucifer

It's disgusting.

"It's disgusting."

Lucifer

Ooh, you naughty girl.

"Ooh, you naughty girl."

Lucifer

Come on, now you have to tell me.

"Come on, now you have to tell me."

Lucifer

It's... in my car.

"It's... in my car."

Lucifer

(door lock chirps)

"(door lock chirps)"

Lucifer

What is, Sandy?

"What is, Sandy?"

Lucifer

Poop.

"Poop."

Lucifer

Oh.

"Oh."

Lucifer

Bags and bags of it.

"Bags and bags of it."

Lucifer

Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God."

Lucifer

I'm not sure whether to be horrified or impressed.

"I'm not sure whether to be horrified or impressed."

Lucifer

My friend owns a horse.

"My friend owns a horse."

Lucifer

That's oddly comforting to know.

"That's oddly comforting to know."

Lucifer

What were you gonna do with it?

"What were you gonna do with it?"

Lucifer

I was going to throw it at Tiffany.

"I was going to throw it at Tiffany."

Lucifer

That's the patient

"That's the patient"

Lucifer

- you were accused of... - Stalking.

"- you were accused of... - Stalking."

Lucifer

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Lucifer

She's in a group therapy session right now

"She's in a group therapy session right now"

Lucifer

for my husband's clients.

"for my husband's clients."

Lucifer

Group cheater therapy.

"Group cheater therapy."

Lucifer

Oh, the imagination runs wild.

"Oh, the imagination runs wild."

Lucifer

So Tiffany was sleeping with your husband.

"So Tiffany was sleeping with your husband."

Lucifer

She was.

"She was."

Lucifer

How'd you find out?

"How'd you find out?"

Lucifer

My husband's colleague, Dr. Medina, called me.

"My husband's colleague, Dr. Medina, called me."

Lucifer

Okay, so he told you that your husband was cheating?

"Okay, so he told you that your husband was cheating?"

Lucifer

No, he had no idea.

"No, he had no idea."

Lucifer

He just called to see

"He just called to see"

Lucifer

if Bernie wanted to grab a last-minute drink.

"if Bernie wanted to grab a last-minute drink."

Lucifer

But Bernie was supposed to already be with Dr. Medina.

"But Bernie was supposed to already be with Dr. Medina."

Lucifer

That's when I knew my husband lied to me.

"That's when I knew my husband lied to me."

Lucifer

But he was the cheater therapist.

"But he was the cheater therapist."

Lucifer

I don't quite see the problem here.

"I don't quite see the problem here."

Lucifer

(chuckles): I mean, you said yourself...

"(chuckles): I mean, you said yourself..."

Lucifer

The problem is he fell in love with her.

"The problem is he fell in love with her."

Lucifer

I lied to him about my trip,

"I lied to him about my trip,"

Lucifer

then I drove back from Phoenix to see what he was doing.

"then I drove back from Phoenix to see what he was doing."

Lucifer

I was...

"I was..."

Lucifer

Don't say it.

"Don't say it."

Lucifer

...jealous.

"...jealous."

Lucifer

Yes, yes, we all get it!

"Yes, yes, we all get it!"

Lucifer

Jealousy makes the world go...

"Jealousy makes the world go..."

Lucifer

I mean, what are you, a girl band?

"I mean, what are you, a girl band?"

Lucifer

I loved him.

"I loved him."

Lucifer

Oh...

"Oh..."

Lucifer

(crying): I didn't kill him.

"(crying): I didn't kill him."

Lucifer

I just wanted him back.

"I just wanted him back."

Lucifer

Oh, great.

"Oh, great."

Lucifer

The douche-mobile. Give me a second.

"The douche-mobile. Give me a second."

Lucifer

Hey, I got your text. You okay?

"Hey, I got your text. You okay?"

Lucifer

Did Malcolm hurt you?

"Did Malcolm hurt you?"

Lucifer

No. I told you, it's-it's fine.

"No. I told you, it's-it's fine."

Lucifer

Everything's fine.

"Everything's fine."

Lucifer

I'm gonna punch that son of a bitch right back into a coma.

"I'm gonna punch that son of a bitch right back into a coma."

Lucifer

Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

Lucifer

No. No.

"No. No."

Lucifer

Anything back on the 999 key?

"Anything back on the 999 key?"

Lucifer

I'm sorry, Chloe.

"I'm sorry, Chloe."

Lucifer

They couldn't get any prints off of it.

"They couldn't get any prints off of it."

Lucifer

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Lucifer

DR. LINDA: So that's Dan, huh?

"DR. LINDA: So that's Dan, huh?"

Lucifer

Yes.

"Yes."

Lucifer

Numbingly average, isn't he?

"Numbingly average, isn't he?"

Lucifer

I wouldn't say that.

"I wouldn't say that."

Lucifer

What... You're supposed to be on my side, you know.

"What... You're supposed to be on my side, you know."

Lucifer

No. I'm supposed to help you process your emotions

"No. I'm supposed to help you process your emotions"

Lucifer

so you can deal with them constructively.

"so you can deal with them constructively."

Lucifer

Yes, by being on my side and realizing that I'm right.

"Yes, by being on my side and realizing that I'm right."

Lucifer

Lucifer...

"Lucifer..."

Lucifer

Is over this conversation.

"Is over this conversation."

Lucifer

I'm gonna go and talk

"I'm gonna go and talk"

Lucifer

to some people who are a little more open-minded, Doctor.

"to some people who are a little more open-minded, Doctor."

Lucifer

Hi. I'm Dr. Medina. Thank you for coming.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Medina. Thank you for coming."

Lucifer

All right, looks like we have everyone,

"All right, looks like we have everyone,"

Lucifer

so let's start.

"so let's start."

Lucifer

Yes! That's a great idea.

"Yes! That's a great idea."

Lucifer

There's so very much to discuss.

"There's so very much to discuss."

Lucifer

So let's start with the most important thing, shall we?

"So let's start with the most important thing, shall we?"

Lucifer

Me.

"Me."

Lucifer

(indistinct police radio chatter)

"(indistinct police radio chatter)"

Lucifer

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Lucifer

And once again,

"And once again,"

Lucifer

Lucifer disappears.

"Lucifer disappears."

Lucifer

I think the case may have hit a little too close to home.

"I think the case may have hit a little too close to home."

Lucifer

Maybe things got a little too boring

"Maybe things got a little too boring"

Lucifer

for Mr. Short Attention Span.

"for Mr. Short Attention Span."

Lucifer

I don't know.

"I don't know."

Lucifer

He's grown quite a bit since working with you.

"He's grown quite a bit since working with you."

Lucifer

I'm not sure I'm the reason.

"I'm not sure I'm the reason."

Lucifer

I think you've really helped him.

"I think you've really helped him."

Lucifer

I underestimated you before. I'm sorry.

"I underestimated you before. I'm sorry."

Lucifer

Not needed. But thank you.

"Not needed. But thank you."

Lucifer

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