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Clips from Lucifer - Et Tu, Doctor? (S01E01)

"Well, um..."
Lucifer
"When you're with Chloe?"
Lucifer
"Yes."
Lucifer
"Well, actually, lately, when she's been with Dan."
Lucifer
"Her ex."
Lucifer
"Well, sort of. Uh..."
Lucifer
"I don't know what she sees in that oaf."
Lucifer
"Lucifer..."
Lucifer
"...you're jealous."
Lucifer
"The Devil doesn't get jealous."
Lucifer
"I'm the one who inspires passion in others."
Lucifer
"(chuckling): I mean..."
Lucifer
"you know that."
Lucifer
"Mm, don't I ever."
Lucifer
"Thank you."
Lucifer
"That's the appropriate response."
Lucifer
"(inhales)"
Lucifer
"Hold on, maybe it's not me."
Lucifer
"Maybe it's her. (gasps quietly)"
Lucifer
"You could fix the detective."
Lucifer
"How would I do that?"
Lucifer
"Well, heal her douche fixation, obviously."
Lucifer
"Then she stays away from her ex."
Lucifer
"Then I get my partner back."
Lucifer
"That's not how therapy works."
Lucifer
"(scoffs)"
Lucifer
"We deal with your issues."
Lucifer
"Not someone else's."
Lucifer
"(scoffs)"
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"(low, indistinct conversation)"
Lucifer
"Oh, dear! Someone's session went poorly."
Lucifer
"Mm. Thanks for gracing us with your presence."
Lucifer
"Yes, I had a previous engagement."
Lucifer
"Therapy twice in one day. So L.A. of me."
Lucifer
"Dr. Bernie Shaw. Killed last night."
Lucifer
"No forced entry."
Lucifer
"Killer most likely knew the vic."
Lucifer
"The weapon was improvised."
Lucifer
"Seems like a crime of passion."
Lucifer
"Right. Yeah."
Lucifer
"Have you ever seen a therapist?"
Lucifer
"You know, for your pent-up anger and your trust issues."
Lucifer
"And your attraction to very dull men."
Lucifer
"Let's just focus on the case, shall we?"
Lucifer
"Well, I will, once it's interesting."
Lucifer
"Oh! Hello."
Lucifer
"It's interesting-- "The Cheater Therapist.""
Lucifer
"Yeah, he encouraged couples to cheat to save their marriages."
Lucifer
"You can imagine how many people want to kill him."
Lucifer
"I can't, actually. Sounds like a great idea."
Lucifer
"You don't save a marriage by sleeping with other people."
Lucifer
"It can't hurt to try."
Lucifer
"Pretty sure it can."
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"(camera clicking)"
Lucifer
"That's the wife Alexandra."
Lucifer
"She was out of town and just got back"
Lucifer
"to find her husband dead."
Lucifer
"Poor woman."
Lucifer
"Excuse me!"
Lucifer
"Your husband was the Cheater Therapist."
Lucifer
"Hey, I'm not sure who you are,"
Lucifer
"but this is not the time for judgment."
Lucifer
"What? No judgment here, Tissue Lad."
Lucifer
"I think her husband's work was bang on!"
Lucifer
"I'm Detective Decker."
Lucifer
"This is my associate, Mr. Morningstar."
Lucifer
"Yeah, yeah."
Lucifer
"Jonathan Medina."
Lucifer
"Colleague of Dr. Shaw's."
Lucifer
"Desire shouldn't be contained-- it's unnatural."
Lucifer
"Your husband recognized that."
Lucifer
"Bernie, he-he just wanted to help people."
Lucifer
"He dedicated his life to others."
Lucifer
"Who would do this?"
Lucifer
"We'll find out, Mrs. Shaw."
Lucifer
"Hmm?"
Lucifer
"(speaking gently)"
Lucifer
"Every one of her husband's patients is a suspect."
Lucifer
"Oh! Does that mean we get to dive into patient files?"
Lucifer
"Read the deepest, darkest secrets"
Lucifer
"of L.A.'s most unfaithful?"
Lucifer
"No, we can't look at them without a psychologist"
Lucifer
"to protect patient confidentiality."
Lucifer
"Perfect! I have just the psychologist!"
Lucifer
"Dr. Linda Martin, from our first investigation together."
Lucifer
"The one that wanted to jump your bones?"
Lucifer
"- Yeah. - No. Not happening."
Lucifer
"No, I really think she'd bring some"
Lucifer
"impressive insight into the issues"
Lucifer
"that you're dealing with."
Lucifer
"Uh, in the case."
Lucifer
"I really don't. Plus, it's out of our hands."
Lucifer
"Court-appointed. A judge needs to sign off."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"Wonderful! Now..."
Lucifer
"I see you brought your gavel, like I asked."
Lucifer
"(Lucifer sighs passionately)"
Lucifer
"(Michelle laughs)"
Lucifer
"MICHELLE: Oh!"
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Oh, objection, Your Honor."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Oh! ♪"
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"Ah! Now, now..."
Lucifer
"Oh, come on!"
Lucifer
"I won't tell if you won't."
Lucifer
"I swore an oath... to a judge."
Lucifer
"Oh, did you now?"
Lucifer
"You only get to read the files"
Lucifer
"I deem necessary for investigation."
Lucifer
"(scoffs, sighs)"
Lucifer
"Now, remember our deal:"
Lucifer
"You have to fix the detective's broken douche meter"
Lucifer
"whilst we investigate this crime."
Lucifer
"- Mm-hmm. I never agreed to that. - Oh, come now."
Lucifer
"Don't you want to help me?"
Lucifer
"Hmm? Linda?"
Lucifer
"(sultry chuckle)"
Lucifer
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