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Clips from Lucifer - Et Tu, Doctor? (S01E01)

"Why didn't you?"
Lucifer
"Some of us work for a living."
Lucifer
"Well, that's your bad luck, isn't it?"
Lucifer
"'Cause I like you."
Lucifer
"And I can't imagine what would happen to your life"
Lucifer
"Come on, the party's barely started."
Lucifer
"Happy birthday, Lucifer."
Lucifer
"if people found out the truth."
Lucifer
"("Rebel Rebel" ends)"
Lucifer
"Your colleagues, your ex..."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"(indistinct conversations, rock music playing)"
Lucifer
"- I swear to God, I will... - What? Shoot me?"
Lucifer
"You sure you want to be here?"
Lucifer
"Ah, been there, done that."
Lucifer
"We can't be the only ones"
Lucifer
"Big fail. (laughs)"
Lucifer
"missing Malcolm's welcome back party."
Lucifer
"Besides, you wouldn't want anything"
Lucifer
"to mess with your pretty little family"
Lucifer
"If we want to find a dirty cop,"
Lucifer
"now that you're working to fix things, right?"
Lucifer
"Whatever you want to do to me,"
Lucifer
"we got to look like team players."
Lucifer
"- you keep them out of it. - Dan."
Lucifer
"Come on."
Lucifer
"MAN: Chloe Decker!"
Lucifer
"I'm not gonna hurt anyone."
Lucifer
"Here we go."
Lucifer
"No."
Lucifer
"♪ Call me up on your little black phone ♪"
Lucifer
"No, no, no, no, no."
Lucifer
"♪ Look for a big surprise... ♪"
Lucifer
"You... you and I..."
Lucifer
"You and I need to talk."
Lucifer
"...we're gonna be best friends."
Lucifer
"Sure, Malcolm."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Because I got big plans for you."
Lucifer
"♪ Every time you come 'round... ♪"
Lucifer
"Big plans."
Lucifer
"You back with this guy?"
Lucifer
"(laughing)"
Lucifer
"Hmm?"
Lucifer
"Fun, right?"
Lucifer
"How-how, how long was I out?"
Lucifer
"We're having fun now."
Lucifer
"What, you get the sense knocked out of you, Decker?"
Lucifer
"(laughs) (engine starts)"
Lucifer
"(dance music playing)"
Lucifer
"- We're just, we're just... - You know, we have..."
Lucifer
"♪ I've been hell-bent, baby ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Hell-bent on loving you all day long ♪"
Lucifer
"(laughing): Just relax, guys."
Lucifer
"I'm just... just giving you a hard time."
Lucifer
"♪ Hell-bent on drugs 'cause they turn you on ♪"
Lucifer
"(Malcolm laughing)"
Lucifer
"♪ Don't know what else to do... ♪"
Lucifer
"- Oh. Wow. - You finally got your sense of humor back, huh?"
Lucifer
"I just learned the strangest thing."
Lucifer
"Spoiler alert: Amenadiel found Dr. Linda."
Lucifer
"Yeah, he's healing fast."
Lucifer
"He was an angel on her shoulder, trying to control me."
Lucifer
"Doc said he should be able"
Lucifer
"I wonder how my dear, angelic brother"
Lucifer
"to get rid of this chair in a couple days."
Lucifer
"got such a wickedly clever idea."
Lucifer
"(grunting): You tired of pushing me around, Paolucci?"
Lucifer
"I did it to protect you."
Lucifer
"I told you,"
Lucifer
"(Paolucci chuckles)"
Lucifer
"whatever the danger, I'll be there to stop it."
Lucifer
"PAOLUCCI: Look at that, huh?"
Lucifer
"Whether you see it coming or not."
Lucifer
"The partner who will not die."
Lucifer
"You betrayed me, Maze."
Lucifer
"(Malcolm laughs)"
Lucifer
"And not for my own good."
Lucifer
"PAOLUCCI: Guess Heaven didn't want him"
Lucifer
"You did it for yourself."
Lucifer
"Who is this human world really rubbing off on, eh?"
Lucifer
"and Hell couldn't keep him."
Lucifer
"Me or you?"
Lucifer
"(both chuckling)"
Lucifer
"- Lucifer, I... - Ah."
Lucifer
"Don't want to hear it."
Lucifer
"'Cause you and me, we're done."
Lucifer
"You got no idea."
Lucifer
"♪ All I need is, all I need is, all I need is you. ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Devil in your eyes. ♪"
Lucifer
"So I, I may have been..."
Lucifer
"(groans)"
Lucifer
"...out of line last time I was here."
Lucifer
"But I did send flowers."
Lucifer
"And chocolates."
Lucifer
"And now myself, so, save the best gift till last."
Lucifer
"(nervous chuckle)"
Lucifer
"Not enough? No?"
Lucifer
"You can invite a friend. (nervous laugh)"
Lucifer
"Why did you think I'd be mad?"
Lucifer
"Was it because of this?"
Lucifer
"(nervous laugh)"
Lucifer
"I've found women, generally,"
Lucifer
"don't like a man punching holes in things, yes."
Lucifer
"Lucifer, our last session was a breakthrough."
Lucifer
"It was?"
Lucifer
"You're finally getting in touch with your emotions."
Lucifer
"Letting your barriers down."
Lucifer
"You see, that's part of the problem."
Lucifer
"I'd like them back up, thank you."
Lucifer
"Why?"
Lucifer
"Well, because these emotions"
Lucifer
"are... bloody inconvenient, that's why."
Lucifer
"What's bothering you right now?"
Lucifer
"(sighs): Well..."
Lucifer
"right now I'm experiencing a very odd feeling."
Lucifer
"It's-it's like a..."
Lucifer
"it's like a fat man sitting on my chest."
Lucifer
"But not in a fun way."
Lucifer
"And when is that happening?"
Lucifer
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