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Clips from Cheers - A Ditch in Time (S03E03)

GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

"GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY."

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NORM! NORM!

"NORM! NORM!"

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WHAT'LL YOU HAVE, NORMIE?

"WHAT'LL YOU HAVE, NORMIE?"

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1929 LAFITE-ROTHSCHILD, COACH.

"1929 LAFITE-ROTHSCHILD, COACH."

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OR A BEER--WHATEVER EVERYONE ELSE IS HAVING.

"OR A BEER--WHATEVER EVERYONE ELSE IS HAVING."

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HEY, NORM, WE HAVEN'T HEARD MUCH LATELY

"HEY, NORM, WE HAVEN'T HEARD MUCH LATELY"

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ABOUT YOUR QUEST TO SIRE AN HEIR FOR THE OLD THRONE.

"ABOUT YOUR QUEST TO SIRE AN HEIR FOR THE OLD THRONE."

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SO HOW GOETH THE BABY-MAKING?

"SO HOW GOETH THE BABY-MAKING?"

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NOT GOOD. VERA THINKS IT'S MY FAULT SHE'S NOT PREGNANT.

"NOT GOOD. VERA THINKS IT'S MY FAULT SHE'S NOT PREGNANT."

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SHE SAYS I'M NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH.

"SHE SAYS I'M NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH."

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WELL, I HOPE BEFORE YOU ANSWERED INTEMPERATELY, NORM,

"WELL, I HOPE BEFORE YOU ANSWERED INTEMPERATELY, NORM,"

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YOU TOOK INTO ACCOUNT HER FRUSTRATION

"YOU TOOK INTO ACCOUNT HER FRUSTRATION"

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IN THE OLD MATERNAL INSTINCT DEPARTMENT.

"IN THE OLD MATERNAL INSTINCT DEPARTMENT."

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I SAID, "DROP DEAD IN A DITCH."

"I SAID, "DROP DEAD IN A DITCH.""

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PERFECT.

"PERFECT."

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I USED TO THINK THAT SLEEPING WAS

"I USED TO THINK THAT SLEEPING WAS"

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THE GREATEST PLEASURE YOU COULD HAVE IN BED.

"THE GREATEST PLEASURE YOU COULD HAVE IN BED."

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NOW I'M SURE OF IT.

"NOW I'M SURE OF IT."

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HEY, NORM, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

"HEY, NORM, WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

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DON'T YOU LIKE HAVING SEX WITH YOUR WIFE?

"DON'T YOU LIKE HAVING SEX WITH YOUR WIFE?"

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WE'RE NOT EXACTLY WHAT EACH OTHER WANTS

"WE'RE NOT EXACTLY WHAT EACH OTHER WANTS"

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IN A SEXUAL PARTNER, YOU KNOW?

"IN A SEXUAL PARTNER, YOU KNOW?"

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FOR EXAMPLE, SHE WISHES I LOOKED A LITTLE MORE LIKE, UH...

"FOR EXAMPLE, SHE WISHES I LOOKED A LITTLE MORE LIKE, UH..."

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CHARLES BRONSON.

"CHARLES BRONSON."

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AND, UH, I WISH SHE LOOKED A LITTLE...

"AND, UH, I WISH SHE LOOKED A LITTLE..."

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LESS LIKE CHARLES BRONSON.

"LESS LIKE CHARLES BRONSON."

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* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *

"* MAKIN' YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *"

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* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *

"* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *"

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* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *

"* TAKIN' A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *"

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* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *

"* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *"

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* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *

"* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *"

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* SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO *

"* SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *

"* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *

"* YOU WANT TO BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *"

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* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO BE *

"* YOU WANT TO BE *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *

"* YOU WANT TO GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *"

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* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANT TO GO *

"* YOU WANT TO GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME **

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME **"

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CARLA, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS NEW COLOGNE OF MINE.

"CARLA, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS NEW COLOGNE OF MINE."

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WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

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I LIKE IT.

"I LIKE IT."

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WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO SEE AGAIN?

"WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO SEE AGAIN?"

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THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CARLA.

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CARLA."

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YOU GOT SOME CUSTOMERS WAITING FOR YOU OVER THERE.

"YOU GOT SOME CUSTOMERS WAITING FOR YOU OVER THERE."

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RIGHT AWAY.

"RIGHT AWAY."

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SOMEONE WANT TO LEAD ME TO THEM, PLEASE?

"SOMEONE WANT TO LEAD ME TO THEM, PLEASE?"

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WHITE WINE, PLEASE.

"WHITE WINE, PLEASE."

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WHITE WINE.

"WHITE WINE."

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UH, COACH... I'LL HANDLE THIS ONE.

"UH, COACH... I'LL HANDLE THIS ONE."

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THERE YOU GO.

"THERE YOU GO."

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I HOPE THIS IS NOT GOING TO EMBARRASS YOU TOO MUCH,,

"I HOPE THIS IS NOT GOING TO EMBARRASS YOU TOO MUCH,,"

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BUT I JUST GOT TO TELL YOU

"BUT I JUST GOT TO TELL YOU"

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YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.

"YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN."

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WELL, I KIND OF GET FLUSTERED,

"WELL, I KIND OF GET FLUSTERED,"

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BUT THAT'S NICE TO HEAR.

"BUT THAT'S NICE TO HEAR."

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IF I WERE TO TELL YOU YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL BODY,

"IF I WERE TO TELL YOU YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL BODY,"

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WOULD YOU HOLD IT AGAINST ME?

"WOULD YOU HOLD IT AGAINST ME?"

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GEE, EVEN I'VE HEARD THAT ONE.

"GEE, EVEN I'VE HEARD THAT ONE."

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I DON'T SEEM TO BE DOING TOO WELL WITH MY PATTER TONIGHT.

"I DON'T SEEM TO BE DOING TOO WELL WITH MY PATTER TONIGHT."

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MAYBE I OUGHT TO JUST RELY ON MY LOOKS.

"MAYBE I OUGHT TO JUST RELY ON MY LOOKS."

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HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ONE?

"HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ONE?"

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HA HA! OH, YOU.

"HA HA! OH, YOU."

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I GUESS I'M JUST A SUCKER FOR SOPHISTICATION.

"I GUESS I'M JUST A SUCKER FOR SOPHISTICATION."

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NOW THAT I'VE CHARMED YOUR SOCKS OFF,

"NOW THAT I'VE CHARMED YOUR SOCKS OFF,"

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YOU WANT TO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT?

"YOU WANT TO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT?"

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YOU KNOW A PLACE WHERE THEY DON'T REQUIRE SOCKS?

"YOU KNOW A PLACE WHERE THEY DON'T REQUIRE SOCKS?"

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I'LL BET I CAN FIND ONE.

"I'LL BET I CAN FIND ONE."

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WHAT DO YOU SAY? SHALL WE?

"WHAT DO YOU SAY? SHALL WE?"

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I CAN'T LEAVE JUST YET. I CAME BY TO SEE SOMEBODY.

"I CAN'T LEAVE JUST YET. I CAME BY TO SEE SOMEBODY."

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AH. WHO?

"AH. WHO?"

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AMANDA?

"AMANDA?"

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DIANE!

"DIANE!"

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HI!

"HI!"

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SO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER, HUH?

"SO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER, HUH?"

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NOTHING GETS BY THIS GUY.

"NOTHING GETS BY THIS GUY."

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SAM, THIS IS MY FRIEND AMANDA BOYER.

"SAM, THIS IS MY FRIEND AMANDA BOYER."

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AMANDA, THIS IS MY FRIEND SAM MALONE.

"AMANDA, THIS IS MY FRIEND SAM MALONE."

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WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EXCUSE US HERE.

"WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EXCUSE US HERE."

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I THINK WE'RE ON OUR WAY OUT TO DINNER.

"I THINK WE'RE ON OUR WAY OUT TO DINNER."

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ACTUALLY, I CAME BY TO SEE YOU.

"ACTUALLY, I CAME BY TO SEE YOU."

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YOU WANT TO HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME?

"YOU WANT TO HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME?"

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LUNCH SOMETIME.

"LUNCH SOMETIME."

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ARE YOU TWO GOING OUT TOGETHER?

"ARE YOU TWO GOING OUT TOGETHER?"

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OOH, YOU'RE PRETTY SHARP YOURSELF THERE, DIANE.

"OOH, YOU'RE PRETTY SHARP YOURSELF THERE, DIANE."

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UH...BEFORE YOU DO, COULD I SPEAK WITH YOU

"UH...BEFORE YOU DO, COULD I SPEAK WITH YOU"

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ABOUT A PROBLEM, SAM?

"ABOUT A PROBLEM, SAM?"

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TROUBLE IN THE BACK ROOM.

"TROUBLE IN THE BACK ROOM."

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YOU'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?"

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DON'T BE SILLY.

"DON'T BE SILLY."

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THAT WOMAN'S A MESS.

"THAT WOMAN'S A MESS."

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DON'T GO OUT WITH HER.

"DON'T GO OUT WITH HER."

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WHY NOT?

"WHY NOT?"

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WELL...I CAN'T TELL YOU NOW.

"WELL...I CAN'T TELL YOU NOW."

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JUST TRUST ME FOR ONCE.

"JUST TRUST ME FOR ONCE."

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YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE ME SOME KIND OF HINT.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE ME SOME KIND OF HINT."

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I REALLY CAN'T SAY ANYTHING.

"I REALLY CAN'T SAY ANYTHING."

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OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO BLATANTLY JEALOUS.

"OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO BLATANTLY JEALOUS."

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YOU STILL CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN, HUH?

"YOU STILL CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN, HUH?"

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MY HEART GOES OUT

"MY HEART GOES OUT"

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TO ANY LIVING CREATURE IN YOUR COMPANY.

"TO ANY LIVING CREATURE IN YOUR COMPANY."

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YOU KNOW, ONE OF THESE DAYS,

"YOU KNOW, ONE OF THESE DAYS,"

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YOU'RE GONNA WISE UP AND REALIZE THAT IF YOU WANT A CHANCE

"YOU'RE GONNA WISE UP AND REALIZE THAT IF YOU WANT A CHANCE"

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OF GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH ME,

"OF GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH ME,"

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YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO START TALKING A LITTLE NICER.

"YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO START TALKING A LITTLE NICER."

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SAM.

"SAM."

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MM-HMM?

"MM-HMM?"

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YOU ARE AN UNMITIGATED EGOMANIAC.

"YOU ARE AN UNMITIGATED EGOMANIAC."

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TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.

"TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE."

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GOOD NIGHT.

"GOOD NIGHT."

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YOU KNOW, NORMIE, I WAS JUST THINKING,

"YOU KNOW, NORMIE, I WAS JUST THINKING,"

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WHEN YOU AND VERA DO HAVE THE BABY,

"WHEN YOU AND VERA DO HAVE THE BABY,"

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YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE THE KID A NAME, RIGHT?

"YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE THE KID A NAME, RIGHT?"

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YEAH, WE'RE TOYING WITH THE IDEA OF NAMING IT.

"YEAH, WE'RE TOYING WITH THE IDEA OF NAMING IT."

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WELL, WHEN IT COMES TIME TO NAME THE BABY,

"WELL, WHEN IT COMES TIME TO NAME THE BABY,"

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YOU SHOULD CONSIDER BARRY.

"YOU SHOULD CONSIDER BARRY."

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WHY? WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT BARRY?

"WHY? WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT BARRY?"

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