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Clips from American Auto - Recall (S01E01)

I have no idea what you're talking about.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

American Auto

Captain Obvious to Sadie. You're jealous of Jack's date.

"Captain Obvious to Sadie. You're jealous of Jack's date."

American Auto

Not how Captain Obvious works. Also, not true.

"Not how Captain Obvious works. Also, not true."

American Auto

Hey, look, look, all the science says

"Hey, look, look, all the science says"

American Auto

when you're holding back feelings, you get cancer.

"when you're holding back feelings, you get cancer."

American Auto

And we all get it eventually, but sooner.

"And we all get it eventually, but sooner."

American Auto

I prefer that to this.

"I prefer that to this."

American Auto

Just pretend I'm Jack, okay?

"Just pretend I'm Jack, okay?"

American Auto

Say whatever you wanna get off your chest.

"Say whatever you wanna get off your chest."

American Auto

- Not gonna do that. - Yo, what's up, girl?

"- Not gonna do that. - Yo, what's up, girl?"

American Auto

Wow.

"Wow."

American Auto

Oh, damn, you're looking fine as hell.

"Oh, damn, you're looking fine as hell."

American Auto

Very much no, sir.

"Very much no, sir."

American Auto

Gotta huddle up.

"Gotta huddle up."

American Auto

Yo, we gotta huddle up, girl. That is spot-on.

"Yo, we gotta huddle up, girl. That is spot-on."

American Auto

Now, this is what I call turning chardonnay

"Now, this is what I call turning chardonnay"

American Auto

into chardon-yay.

"into chardon-yay."

American Auto

Right.

"Right."

American Auto

Oh!

"Oh!"

American Auto

You're not supposed to put white wine in the soda machine.

"You're not supposed to put white wine in the soda machine."

American Auto

Janine, baby, I swear to God.

"Janine, baby, I swear to God."

American Auto

So there's a chance that there may or may not be

"So there's a chance that there may or may not be"

American Auto

up to 80,000 cars out there

"up to 80,000 cars out there"

American Auto

whose weight exceeds the maximum capacity

"whose weight exceeds the maximum capacity"

American Auto

of their locking pawls.

"of their locking pawls."

American Auto

Gleep-glop-gloop-gloop. Cars.

"Gleep-glop-gloop-gloop. Cars."

American Auto

That's what that all sounded like to me.

"That's what that all sounded like to me."

American Auto

Well, the pawl's the pin that keeps cars in park.

"Well, the pawl's the pin that keeps cars in park."

American Auto

If they break, cars can roll out of park.

"If they break, cars can roll out of park."

American Auto

Whatever--it sounds bad but it's not, like, a disaster.

"Whatever--it sounds bad but it's not, like, a disaster."

American Auto

It is when the place it rolls

"It is when the place it rolls"

American Auto

is downhill over a bunch of other people and stuff.

"is downhill over a bunch of other people and stuff."

American Auto

Ah, okay, well, that kinda gives me disaster vibes.

"Ah, okay, well, that kinda gives me disaster vibes."

American Auto

What do we do in a situation like this?

"What do we do in a situation like this?"

American Auto

Well, legally speaking, we need to inform NHTSA

"Well, legally speaking, we need to inform NHTSA"

American Auto

and then issue a very expensive recall--

"and then issue a very expensive recall--"

American Auto

with the emphasis on very and also expensive.

"with the emphasis on very and also expensive."

American Auto

If this happened, wouldn't we be hearing

"If this happened, wouldn't we be hearing"

American Auto

that people's cars are rolling out of park?

"that people's cars are rolling out of park?"

American Auto

I think someone would complain.

"I think someone would complain."

American Auto

People love bitching about stuff.

"People love bitching about stuff."

American Auto

So what are you doing?

"So what are you doing?"

American Auto

Oh, looking to see if anyone's

"Oh, looking to see if anyone's"

American Auto

had issues with Hydras rolling out of park.

"had issues with Hydras rolling out of park."

American Auto

- No, no, no, no, no. - What are you doing?

"- No, no, no, no, no. - What are you doing?"

American Auto

No. So, look, the problem is,

"No. So, look, the problem is,"

American Auto

right, you know, if there is a problem,

"right, you know, if there is a problem,"

American Auto

then obviously we are legally obligated

"then obviously we are legally obligated"

American Auto

to take some very big, very impactful actions.

"to take some very big, very impactful actions."

American Auto

So if we don't want to take those actions, then, well,

"So if we don't want to take those actions, then, well,"

American Auto

it would probably best serve us

"it would probably best serve us"

American Auto

if we didn't know about the problem in the first place.

"if we didn't know about the problem in the first place."

American Auto

Do you understand?

"Do you understand?"

American Auto

We shouldn't Google it because we wanna be able

"We shouldn't Google it because we wanna be able"

American Auto

to claim deniability in the event

"to claim deniability in the event"

American Auto

that we decide to engage in a massive cover-up.

"that we decide to engage in a massive cover-up."

American Auto

Give the lady a prize.

"Give the lady a prize."

American Auto

Hey, c'mon, is this your first rodeo?

"Hey, c'mon, is this your first rodeo?"

American Auto

Pop open a private browser, go to town.

"Pop open a private browser, go to town."

American Auto

Private browser?

"Private browser?"

American Auto

Those only exist to make cheating husbands sleep better.

"Those only exist to make cheating husbands sleep better."

American Auto

There's still a record of everything.

"There's still a record of everything."

American Auto

What? That's not true, right?

"What? That's not true, right?"

American Auto

Okay, guys, we are officially in crisis mode.

"Okay, guys, we are officially in crisis mode."

American Auto

No one leaves until we figure out what we're gonna do.

"No one leaves until we figure out what we're gonna do."

American Auto

Or not do.

"Or not do."

American Auto

Let's not forget our good friend, not do.

"Let's not forget our good friend, not do."

American Auto

He's served many corporations faithfully over the years.

"He's served many corporations faithfully over the years."

American Auto

Sorry, Jack, you're gonna have to cancel your date.

"Sorry, Jack, you're gonna have to cancel your date."

American Auto

That must make you happy.

"That must make you happy."

American Auto

- Why would I be ha-- - Wait.

"- Why would I be ha-- - Wait."

American Auto

Is looking at hacked celeb nudes legal or illegal?

"Is looking at hacked celeb nudes legal or illegal?"

American Auto

- Legal. - But disgusting.

"- Legal. - But disgusting."

American Auto

Oh, thank God. New lease on life, guys.

"Oh, thank God. New lease on life, guys."

American Auto

Not gonna lie. I was very concerned.

"Not gonna lie. I was very concerned."

American Auto

All right. Here we go.

"All right. Here we go."

American Auto

I thought I'd let it breathe a little bit.

"I thought I'd let it breathe a little bit."

American Auto

W-w-what is that?

"W-w-what is that?"

American Auto

It's the champagne.

"It's the champagne."

American Auto

Not really in the mood to celebrate, Dori.

"Not really in the mood to celebrate, Dori."

American Auto

We're kind of in the middle of a crisis here.

"We're kind of in the middle of a crisis here."

American Auto

Some of our cars might be defective.

"Some of our cars might be defective."

American Auto

We're just debating whether or not to engage

"We're just debating whether or not to engage"

American Auto

in a massive cover-up-- don't tell anyone.

"in a massive cover-up-- don't tell anyone."

American Auto

Wait, we have a customer complaint department, right?

"Wait, we have a customer complaint department, right?"

American Auto

- Yeah. - Yes.

"- Yeah. - Yes."

American Auto

Okay, great. Dori, go check the locks.

"Okay, great. Dori, go check the locks."

American Auto

See if anyone has reported a Hydra rolling out of park--

"See if anyone has reported a Hydra rolling out of park--"

American Auto

maiming, killing, squishing, anything like that.

"maiming, killing, squishing, anything like that."

American Auto

But do please be subtle about it.

"But do please be subtle about it."

American Auto

Yeah, again, 'cause of the cover-up.

"Yeah, again, 'cause of the cover-up."

American Auto

- We're not calling it that. - Okay.

"- We're not calling it that. - Okay."

American Auto

Well, if these taste weird later,

"Well, if these taste weird later,"

American Auto

that's on y'all 'cause y'all waited.

"that's on y'all 'cause y'all waited."

American Auto

Okay, so we keep talking about

"Okay, so we keep talking about"

American Auto

how expensive this recall will be, right?

"how expensive this recall will be, right?"

American Auto

But it's a $40 part.

"But it's a $40 part."

American Auto

So takes about a hour or so to replace.

"So takes about a hour or so to replace."

American Auto

That's 100 bucks worth of labor.

"That's 100 bucks worth of labor."

American Auto

80,000 times 140, you're talking about $11.2 million.

"80,000 times 140, you're talking about $11.2 million."

American Auto

I mean, it's not cheap at all, but--

"I mean, it's not cheap at all, but--"

American Auto

Are you kidding? That's nothing.

"Are you kidding? That's nothing."

American Auto

That's, like, the cost of a house.

"That's, like, the cost of a house."

American Auto

- Whose house? - A lot of people.

"- Whose house? - A lot of people."

American Auto

- What? - You're not wrong.

"- What? - You're not wrong."

American Auto

I mean, for a company our size, that is not a lot of money.

"I mean, for a company our size, that is not a lot of money."

American Auto

Except you can't tell a good pawl from the bad one

"Except you can't tell a good pawl from the bad one"

American Auto

just by looking at them.

"just by looking at them."

American Auto

So we would have to recall every Hydra sold since 2018.

"So we would have to recall every Hydra sold since 2018."

American Auto

That's a million cars.

"That's a million cars."

American Auto

And the lawsuits, obviously.

"And the lawsuits, obviously."

American Auto

I mean, even if the pawls aren't defective,

"I mean, even if the pawls aren't defective,"

American Auto

the minute this is announced,

"the minute this is announced,"

American Auto

you're gonna start seeing commercials being like,

"you're gonna start seeing commercials being like,"

American Auto

"Oh, were you injured in an accident in your car?

""Oh, were you injured in an accident in your car?"

American Auto

"Well, it's not your fault for being a crap driver.

""Well, it's not your fault for being a crap driver."

American Auto

It's all Payne Motors' fault. Why don't you sue them?"

"It's all Payne Motors' fault. Why don't you sue them?""

American Auto

And adding the cost of a recall campaign

"And adding the cost of a recall campaign"

American Auto

and dealers overcharging for repairs,

"and dealers overcharging for repairs,"

American Auto

all in, it could be, like, ten figures.

"all in, it could be, like, ten figures."

American Auto

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