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Clips from Sliders - Eggheads (S01E01)

"(Rembrandt yelling)"
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"(Wade yelling)"
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"(yelling)"
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"(yells) Ooh-hh!"
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"Can somebody get that hole a bit nearer the ground sometime?"
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"(groans)"
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"Well, wherever we are,"
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"it's roughly six and a half weeks till the next world."
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"I'm getting awfully tired of the landing on my butt."
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"Can't you do something about that?"
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"You know I can't. I think you ask just to annoy me a little."
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"Actually, I ask to annoy you a lot."
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"Little by little I'm getting even with you, Q-Ball..."
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"I'm telling you... for dragging me into this cosmic mess."
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"Well, maybe our journey's at an end. Take a look around."
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"If this is home, there should be a news vendor's called "Bernie's""
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"just at the entrance to the park."
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"Professor: Wait a minute. I recognize this place."
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"If we're home, they should be selling the best hot pretzels in the world."
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"Ah! A sign. A very good sign."
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"They look every bit as good as the pretzels in our world."
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"Fine, let's keep moving. Maybe we can head downtown and see if we're really home."
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"Ah-ah-ah, don't be too hasty, Mr. Mallory."
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"A taste test might be..."
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"quite appropriate at this juncture."
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"I got 31 ¢."
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"I've got a $5 bill, but I am not wasting it on a lousy pretzel."
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""Wasting it"? I haven't eaten since yesterday."
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"None of us have. And why should you get to have a pretzel?"
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"I'd like a pretzel just as much as you."
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"This is ridiculous. We'll divide it two ways."
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"Three ways. Four ways."
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"Professor: It would help to have a larger sample to be certain."
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"But I'm reasonably sure"
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"that this pretzel is identical to those at home."
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"Vendor: Would you folks mind holding it down?"
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"You know the President's about to speak?"
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"You mean, President Clinton?"
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"Of course I mean Clinton. Who else?"
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"That clinches it, we're home."
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"You know, I feel sorry for the Prez..."
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"being married to that loudmouth."
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"It's no wonder the Republicans are taking control."
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"TV: Ladies and gentlemen the President of the United States."
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"My fellow Americans,"
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"I speak to you tonight from the White House."
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"The recent compromises in my health care reform..."
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"Quinn: What if you could find brand new worlds"
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"right here on Earth, where anything is possible?"
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"Same planet, different dimension."
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"I found the gateway."
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"(theme music plays)"
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"According to the almanac, the U.S. Congress,"
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"the board of directors of just about every company on the Fortune 500..."
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"all female."
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"And look who's the Pope."
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"Hey, check out the "Sports Monthly" Swimsuit Edition."
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"It's men in tiny Speedos."
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"(chuckling)"
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"Evidently we've landed on a world"
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"where women are in authority and men are relegated to a second-class status."
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"Gender discrimination's no laughing matter,"
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"regardless of who has the upper hand."
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"Listen to "Professor Equal Opportunity" all of a sudden."
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"Come on you two, we're tired and we're cranky."
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"Besides, we have more immediate concerns."
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"We've got six and a half weeks on this world,"
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"and there's about $3.98 left in the kitty after the Professor's pretzel."
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"Unless we want to spend the night sleeping in the park,"
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"we're going to have to get a job."
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"Rembrandt: ♪ You don't remember me ♪"
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"♪ But I remember you ♪"
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"♪ 'Twas not so long ago ♪"
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"♪ You broke my heart in two ♪"
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"♪ Tears on my pillow ♪"
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"♪ Pain in my heart... ♪"
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"Sure, I understand. Thanks anyway."
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"Any luck? No dice."
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"The only jobs I'm qualified for"
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"are a nanny situation out in Napa,"
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"and a nude photographer's model."
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"How's it going with Rembrandt? Another $7.00."
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"(coins jingle)"
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"I'll be glad when you guys find work."
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"I've been singing seven hours straight."
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"- You're not supposed to abuse your instrument like this. - Keep it up, Mr. Brown."
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"Another couple of songs and we'll be able to afford a motel room."
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"You don't sing?"
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"♪ Tears on my pillow ♪"
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"♪ Pain in my heart ♪"
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"♪ Caused by you... ♪"
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"Ah... ah. Oh."
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"(hissing)"
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"What's that? Cheese."
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"That is not cheese."
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"Brie is cheese!"
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"Camembert is cheese. This is yellow plastic."
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"I'll take it."
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"Ugh. Oh..."
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"How'd it go? I got the job!"
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"- Yes! - (Wade laughs)"
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"Bananas! Fresh fruit!"
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"It's fantastic. I'm overseeing the computer installation in the mayor's office."
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"It's so cool. She's this incredibly together woman."
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"Oh..."
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"I even got a cash advance."
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"Maybe now we can move to a bigger motel room,"
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"and I won't have to sleep in the bathtub. Ah! Cheese!"
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"Wade: Wait, it gets better."
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"Lois Auchincloss is the mayor's executive administrator."
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"There's an election coming up"
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"and they're restaffing for the campaign."
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"I think I can get you guys jobs!"
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"(elevator bell rings)"
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"Room 511, that would be... Quinn: Here we go."
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"Woman: Hold it!"
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"Professor: Allow me, madam."
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"It would be my pleasure to press your button."
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"- Five. - Oh, you're going to the fifth floor too."
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"There you are. Chivalry is not dead."
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