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Clips from The Goldbergs - Baio and Switch (S03E03)

"ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s before we could easily text money"
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"that completely swept the entire country."
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"Hands Across America. It's happening this weekend,"
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"and you will not make coach look bad."
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"All right, listen up."
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"This limited-edition, government-issued visor"
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"means that I have been personally appointed regional captain"
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"because I volunteered."
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"It is my duty to make sure everybody in this town"
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"forms a human chain to stop the homeless."
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"Questions."
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"Goldberg."
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"Isn't it kind of mean to form a chain"
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"and not let the homeless people pass through?"
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"That was my first thought, too,"
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"but it was explained to me that we would be allowing"
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"the homeless to come and go as they please."
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"Goldberg again."
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"Still confused."
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"Um, how does holding hands help anyone?"
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"Hello. Everyone in America is gonna hold hands at once"
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"to show we are symbolically unified"
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"in our fight to end homelessness."
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"It's beautiful, really."
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"Hell, I wish I had more than two hands."
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"Yes, we get it."
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"You're the socially aware girl."
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"No reason to showboat about it, other Goldberg."
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"I'll stop talking."
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"Now, in the spirit of the event,"
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"let's hit the floor and practice."
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"(BLOWS WHISTLE) Let's go! Move it!"
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"Grab and squeeze, people!"
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"Interlace those fingers!"
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"Engage every digit!"
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"I want to see hustle, and I want to see determination!"
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"Yeah! Let me feel it!"
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"There it is. A chain."
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"¶ I'm twisted up inside"
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"¶ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say"
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"¶ I don't know the future"
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"¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was the second Wednesday of the month, 1980-something,"
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"and the Harvest Hop was coming up."
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"It was the first dance where you had to ask someone."
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"I mean, seriously, why do I have to wait"
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"for some meathead to ask me to a lame-ass dance?"
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"Because that's how society works."
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"Count me out."
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"Well, I have it on good authority"
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"that Adam Abel is going to ask someone today."
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"(SCOFFS) I could give a crap about that nerd."
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"(GASPS) He's coming this way."
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"Go, go, go!"
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"Hey."
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"Pam, you, um, have a date to the dance and stuff?"
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"PAM: (CHUCKLES) No."
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"Are you okay?"
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"(BLOWS RASPBERRIES)"
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"Yeah. (CHUCKLES)"
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"Why wouldn't I be?"
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"(SOBBING)"
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"You sure you're okay? No, genius."
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"I'm like the only girl who didn't get asked."
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"That's freaking humiliating."
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"Well, you can always go with your awesome best friend."
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"Ew."
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"Stop! It'll be fun."
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"We can goof on everyone."
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"Dana can't fly out to go with me."
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"This way we're not total losers without dates."
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"Normally, I'd roll my eyes and punch you,"
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"but honestly, I'm desperate, so yes."
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"Dear God, yes."
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"Get off me, dork."
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"You're a complicated person."
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"ADULT ADAM: Turns out, the only good thing"
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"about having a girlfriend in Seattle"
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"was I was completely free to help out a friend."
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"(DOORBELL RINGS) Or not."
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"Surprise! What? Why?"
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"My grandma broke her hip, so my parents are letting me visit her."
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"So lucky."
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"For us. She's bummed."
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"So we get to go to the dance!"
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"Yeah, about the dance."
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"Oh, my God. You're not excited."
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"You're going with someone else? Are we not us anymore?"
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"No, of course we're us."
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"I'm going with you, my girlfriend, who I love."
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"Mmm!"
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"I'm so excited."
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"Me also excited."
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"ADULT ADAM: As I was reeling from my two dates to the dance,"
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"my mom was reeling after a visit with Virginia Kremp."
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"BEVERLY: Is that your family at the flower show again?"
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"The Inquirer put your picture in the paper last year."
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"Oh, well, Charles won top florist again."
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"His topiary of Rosa Parks was the real star."
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"Well, all I know is you got another"
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"stunning picture of your whole family."
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"You're like the freaking Kennedys of Jenkintown."
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"Please, no, we're not. Do people really say that?"
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"I'd give anything to have just one photo of me and my babies"
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"looking that happy on the front page of the paper."
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"Well, Barry did make the paper for that time"
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"he got in the fight with the service horse."
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"He really thought it was his apple."
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"Horses are tricky. Yeah."
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"ADULT ADAM: Little did my mom know"
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"her photo op was right around the corner."
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"BEVERLY: Oh, my God."
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"Are you two crafting together?"
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"By choice?"
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"No, no, no, calm down. We're not crafting."
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"We're just making art with construction paper,"
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"markers, and glitter for public display."
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"That's crafting."
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"Fine, we're crafting."
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"We need to spread the word about Hands Across America."
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