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Clips from Single Drunk Female - James (S01E01)

"-Yeah. -Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"-It's longer than most dates I've had. -Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"(giggles) Come on, come on, come on, come on."
Single Drunk Female
"-Shh, shh. -Oh... Okay... -RONNIE: Hey!"
Single Drunk Female
"-SAMANTHA: What? -Are you joking with me right now?"
Single Drunk Female
"No, no, listen, listen, listen, I'm only back because"
Single Drunk Female
"-I forgot my bag. -As God is my witness,"
Single Drunk Female
"-she left her bag. -But hear me out, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"'Cause we're already here, so, like, maybe we just"
Single Drunk Female
"-have one drink? Come on. -No."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh..."
Single Drunk Female
"Come here, man."
Single Drunk Female
"-Listen, help me out, please. I mean, -Please."
Single Drunk Female
"this girl's amazing, and she deserves"
Single Drunk Female
"a really good Thanksgiving."
Single Drunk Female
"-One drink. -Yes!"
Single Drunk Female
"RONNIE: Stay out of the bathroom."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, you know, Thanksgiving used to be fun at my house,"
Single Drunk Female
"'cause we'd have, like, a lot of family over"
Single Drunk Female
"and my mom and I could sit several seats apart, and it..."
Single Drunk Female
"it was normal-ish, you know?"
Single Drunk Female
"I used to call it "fooling the public.""
Single Drunk Female
"But now it's just us, and last year was brutal."
Single Drunk Female
"-It was brutal. -Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"But this Thanksgiving--"
Single Drunk Female
"like, the one I just had today--"
Single Drunk Female
"-was the worst. -No, no, no."
Single Drunk Female
"Picture my mom-- a mom--"
Single Drunk Female
"sitting up all night,"
Single Drunk Female
"waiting for me to come home."
Single Drunk Female
"That's awful. That is pretty bad."
Single Drunk Female
"-(laughing): Thank you. I know, it's so bad. -It is."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, but my family probably spent"
Single Drunk Female
"the entire night worrying about me."
Single Drunk Female
"Why? You seem so great."
Single Drunk Female
"I... I don't know."
Single Drunk Female
"My job. My drinking. Name it."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, but you've got a great job, you don't drink that much."
Single Drunk Female
"You can't have a job like that if you're a drunk."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"-Uh, maybe. -Take my word for it. I've got, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"a big job, all things considered, and I'm thriving."
Single Drunk Female
"Closing! You don't have to go home..."
Single Drunk Female
"-But we can't stay here. -Oh. Wait."
Single Drunk Female
"No."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, yes."
Single Drunk Female
"No, come on, one more drink, Ronnie."
Single Drunk Female
"No. First of all, it's Massachusetts state law,"
Single Drunk Female
"and secondly, you've had enough to drink."
Single Drunk Female
"(laughs) Please."
Single Drunk Female
"I could drive a school bus."
Single Drunk Female
"(coughing, retching)"
Single Drunk Female
"And that, my friend,"
Single Drunk Female
"is why I bought the mints and the..."
Single Drunk Female
"-the toothbrush. And the gum. -Mm."
Single Drunk Female
"I think you might be, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"-my personal guru. -(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"(coughs) See, I'd join your cult."
Single Drunk Female
"-I would be such a good cult leader. -Mm."
Single Drunk Female
"No, seriously, I think about it, like, all the time."
Single Drunk Female
"'Cause those things dissolve into murder"
Single Drunk Female
"and money laundering,"
Single Drunk Female
"but it doesn't have to."
Single Drunk Female
"Why can't we just"
Single Drunk Female
"live off the land and have all the sex?"
Single Drunk Female
"And it'd be so fun."
Single Drunk Female
"All right, we can be the one good-guy cult,"
Single Drunk Female
"with all the good of the cult but without, like,"
Single Drunk Female
"the legal mess and whatnot."
Single Drunk Female
"-Yeah, yeah. -I'm 100% in and I think"
Single Drunk Female
"-we would make bank. -(laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, so what's next? Maybe we go to Fenway."
Single Drunk Female
"-Break in there? -Uh-uh. I'm getting tired."
Single Drunk Female
"-Or, like, a roller skate or something like... -Okay, hang on a second."
Single Drunk Female
"I think you're trying to trick me into exercise again."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, ha. Gross."
Single Drunk Female
"I didn't even mean to."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, God, it's so late."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, actually, I kinda think that, like..."
Single Drunk Female
"I should go home."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, no. No way. Come o... We..."
Single Drunk Female
"It's not even light out."
Single Drunk Female
"Right? Like, we just got here."
Single Drunk Female
"-Come... -Where?"
Single Drunk Female
"Right here. Y..."
Single Drunk Female
"Where we're, uh, standing."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh... (sighs)"
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, come on, come on, come on. We've had such a great night."
Single Drunk Female
"Like, it can't end here."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't... I don't know."
Single Drunk Female
"Please, please. I really..."
Single Drunk Female
"I can't go home."
Single Drunk Female
"I know-- what if we just walked into the street,"
Single Drunk Female
"waited for a car to come,"
Single Drunk Female
"and then just got out of the way right before it came?"
Single Drunk Female
"-Yeah. Yeah. For real, -Like in The Notebook."
Single Drunk Female
"can you imagine? -Yeah. Yeah. Come on, it'll be fun."
Single Drunk Female
"No, dude, that's, like, a really bad idea, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"-No, no. You're being -Why don't we do something like"
Single Drunk Female
"-a spoilsport. -jump off a bridge?"
Single Drunk Female
"(car honking)"
Single Drunk Female
"Dude, dude!"
Single Drunk Female
"(grunts) What are you doing?!"
Single Drunk Female
"-What is wrong with you? -You don't want to try it?"
Single Drunk Female
"No, I don't want to try it. I don't have a death wish."
Single Drunk Female
"-I-It's not like that. -That was insane."
Single Drunk Female
"Do you know how insane that is?"
Single Drunk Female
"No, I don't..."
Single Drunk Female
"I-I don't even know."
Single Drunk Female
"-Okay. -Uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm sorry. We were having such a nice time,"
Single Drunk Female
"-Yeah, it's okay. -that..."
Single Drunk Female
"No, it really isn't."
Single Drunk Female
"No, it's not, actually."
Single Drunk Female
"That was messed-up, man. You need help."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know, you should, like, talk to somebody--"
Single Drunk Female
"a therapist or..."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know, people are always saying that to me, but I'm fine."
Single Drunk Female
"My family doesn't really believe in therapy."
Single Drunk Female
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