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Clips from The Change-Up

"Look at your flow, it's so nice and thick."
The Change-Up
"It's confident."
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"Yours is very steamy. Thanks."
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"My urologist says I run a little hot."
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"Good to go? Oh, yeah."
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"Can you drive? Oh, yeah!"
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"Holy fuck-knuckles!"
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"Where is my bong?"
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"Whose fucking kid is that?"
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"What is with all these goddamn pillows?"
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"Jamie! Jesus!"
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"What? That's fucking disgusting!"
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"Put those tits away, this isn't Africa!"
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"What am I doing in this bed? Did I sleep here last night?"
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"Did I fucking nail you?"
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"Are you still drunk?"
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"Dave!"
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"Where is Lockwood?"
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"What the fuck?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"I'm Dave?"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Open the goddamn door, Dave."
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"Come on, open up the door, right now."
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"Fuck."
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"Come on, buddy, open up the door immediately."
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"Let's do it."
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"Dave, come on. Open up the door, right now!"
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"- Okay, I'm awake. - Open up this fucking door!"
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"Open the goddamn door, Dave!"
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"Mitch?"
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"Why am I in your apartment?"
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"Dave, hurry up, open up the door!"
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"- Something very bad has happened. - Wait until you see me."
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"Wait until you see you! Jesus Christ, relax."
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"- Super freaky, dude. - Let's do it!"
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"Oh."
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"What the hell is this?"
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"I knew it. Oh, my God."
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"Jesus Christ, what the fuck is this?"
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"Look at this."
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"Yeah, it's you."
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"And this is all me. All of this shit is mine."
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"You're welcome."
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"I got this."
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"What are you doing to me?"
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"- Hey, stop it. - I'm so strong."
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"You're choking yourself!"
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"Must wake up."
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"Wake up!"
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"I can't breathe. Take my hands off you."
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"Wake up! Get the fuck off me!"
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"Okay, okay, okay!"
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"Go look in the mirror. Right there!"
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"All right?"
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"I'm a douche bag."
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"I'm a fucking tool!"
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"Oh! What did you do?"
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"What did I do? You think I want to be you?"
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"Who said I wanted to be you?"
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"Holy shit, we did."
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"We wished for each other's lives"
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"when we were pissing in that fucking fountain last night."
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"We wished we had each other's lives."
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"I was just trying to be nice!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"I know a shortcut to the fountain."
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"Go this way."
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"Careful! Easy."
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"I got it. I got it."
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"What are we going to do when we get to the fountain?"
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"We're going to take a piss in it, or..."
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"I don't give a shit. We're gonna get our lives back."
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"You've got to be kidding me."
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"Hey, where is the fountain?"
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"It is getting restored."
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"What are you talking about, restored? Where did you take it?"
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"I don't know, guy, I just fill the hole."
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"I'm not the fountain spokesman."
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"Hey, motherfucker..."
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"Whoa, whoa, who could tell us where it is?"
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"Maybe ask the district manager."
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"Nope. It is not in the computer."
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"Okay, when will it be in the computer?"
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"Maybe tomorrow. That's when Victor gets back."
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"It's not in the computer, it's not in the park."
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"Who is Victor?"
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"The guy that knows how to find shit in the computer."
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"How can you lose a fountain?"
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"This is a big deal to us, okay? I mean, it's a fountain!"
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"Can you look a little bit harder? That's incredible!"
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"It is not in the computer."
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"Yeah, but your attitude is right on your shoulders."
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"No, no, no!"
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"There was no physical contact."
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"We're okay. We're fine. We're fine."
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"I have the biggest meeting in my life in 45 minutes. This isn't happening."
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"Did you have something you wanted to do today?"
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"I've got day one of my big break movie."
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"If I don't make this meeting, I don't make partner,"
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"and the last 15 years of my life, everything I've done, wasted!"
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"All right, fine, I'll do it."
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"I've got it. I'll do it."
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"I got you. Do what?"
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"I'm an actor. Human chameleon."
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"I can do lawyer in my fucking sleep. Give me the keys."
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"Oh, you'll play me in one of your productions?"
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"Yeah, give me the keys. Okay, no."
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"Why? Because you're..."
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"Careful."
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"Because there's more to being a lawyer than what you see on TV, Mitch."
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"Is there? Yeah."
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"I object! Oh, my God."
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"Okay? No!"
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"Wrong, my friend. You don't know the first thing about being a lawyer."
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"You're not a trained actor."
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"Neither are you."
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"Save it, all right, Dave?"
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"It's one day. We're Mitch and Dave!"
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"We can do one day of anything. Give me the keys."
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