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Clips from The Change-Up

"Untitled Awesome Movie."
The Change-Up
"Truly? That's the name?"
The Change-Up
"Yeah. Yeah. Good for you."
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"Do you want to hotbox this nut sack? No, no."
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"I've got a big day tomorrow. Take the wheel. Steer. Steering wheel."
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"Oh, steer for me."
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"Mitch, come on, buddy."
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"Let's make it to the game in one piece, don't you think?"
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"Want to try that? This Fiero, unfortunately, is airbag-free."
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"It's a work day tomorrow."
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"Come on. All right, I'll take one hit."
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"Oh! What the... You motherfucker!"
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"Let's just focus on the driving."
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"Just say no, Reagan. God, why would you do that?"
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"Well, we're driving. God!"
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"This is a car carrying a lot of speed. This is terrible."
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"Hit the steering wheel. I'm going again!"
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"Whoo! Drink!"
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"I'll drink to that. All right! That was a strikeout."
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"Huh, what's going on? It is good to see you again."
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"It's good to see you, too, Dave."
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"What's going on with the women, huh?"
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"I've been seeing a number of very, very nice ladies."
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"I got some pictures. Wow."
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"That is Tatiana."
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"Tatiana."
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"What's her last name?"
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"It's Tatiana Calls-me- at-three-in-the-morning- and-wants-to-fuck-stein."
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"Who gives a shit what her last name is?"
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"Mitch. Reminds me a little bit of Sabrina."
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"Yeah! Wait, who's Sabrina?"
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"Sabrina. She's this..."
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"She's this new law associate at my work."
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"She's so hot. Oh, Mitch, is she hot. Uh-oh."
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"She's like fall-out-of-a-magazine hot, you know?"
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"I bet she's number one on your cancer list, right?"
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"What is that?"
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"Come on, you know what that is. What is that?"
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"Every married guy has a cancer list."
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"It's the first three women you'd have sex with"
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"if your wife suddenly died of cancer."
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"That's fucking sick."
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"Come on. That's the mother of my children."
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"Oh, I know."
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"But I'll play. Yes, she'd be at the top of that list."
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"It's like a gift. Yeah."
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"- But I interrupted you. - Tell me about this one again."
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"God, last week, Tatiana, she comes over,"
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"she's wearing this tight black mini-dress,"
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"and you know what she says to me?"
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"Tell me slow. No, nothing."
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"Because all Tatiana wants to do at 3:00 in the morning"
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"is fucky, fucky, rubber ducky."
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"This chick is insatiable!"
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"She wants it in every position under the sun."
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"God, you're so lucky."
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"We do the Wheelbarrow, the Arabian Goggles,"
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"the Lonesome Dove, the Arsenio Hall,"
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"the Jelly Donut, the Pastrami Sandwich, the Wolfgang Puck..."
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"And let me tell you something, no man is that hungry."
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"What? I don't even know what these are."
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"You're married. You're married, Dave. That's true."
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"Anyway, we start going at it"
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"and it gets so intense that my nose starts bleeding."
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"Come on."
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"This is Dracula, Anne Rice-type shit"
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"happening right in front of me."
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"Good for you."
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"When all is said and done, when we finish up, and the dust settles,"
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"she looks up at me, and she says,"
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""Mitchell, next Tuesday, I am coming back here,"
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""and we're really going to fuck.""
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"Yes!"
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"Yes! Tatiana."
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"Fuck. Mitch, Mitch, Mitch."
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"You're just..."
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"How did I miss this?"
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"I missed all the sex and the drugs and the bad choices,"
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"and I just fucking rushed it, didn't I? Wasn't I rushing?"
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"You were busy."
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"Rushing to get into a good college, right?"
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"And then into a good law school."
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"Once I got into a good law school,"
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"I just wanted to get into a good law firm."
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"I met Jamie, we got married, we had Cara, and that was it."
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"I pissed away my 20s, right? Now it's too late."
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"Look, shitbird. You got it made!"
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"You have an extremely hot wife,"
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"and you got a beautiful house"
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"that's full of furniture and food and kids."
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"And you make a ton of money."
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"And you come home at the end of the day"
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"and you're surrounded by people who give a shit about you."
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"You're never lonely."
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"What more do you want?"
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"I'll tell you what I want, okay?"
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"I want something different."
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"I want your life, you know?"
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"I want Sabrina. I want Tatiana."
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"And sex with strange, new women."
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"You're living the dream."
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"How much fun is it being an actor, working one week a year?"
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"I want to smoke weed all day."
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"I want to start a book that I actually finish."
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"I would like to take a nice, solid dump"
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"because I'm not constantly stressed out."
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"I want to learn how to rollerblade."
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"And I'd like to take a piss."
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"Me, too. Fountain, fountain, fountain."
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"Perfect."
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"Whoo!"
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"This chick does not look happy."
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"I was just saying that I really envy your life."
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"That's all. I envy yours."
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"No, you don't. You're just trying to be nice."
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"I'm not. I do, I envy it."
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"No. I envy yours."
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"I wish I had your life."
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"it's rolling blackouts or something?"
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"Yeah, I guess."
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