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Clips from The Change-Up

"Uh-huh."
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"He smelt a little like lamb, though."
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"That pooper shot looked real. No. God, please, don't!"
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"It did. Oh, God."
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"Dave? What?"
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"Can you change my oil?"
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"No, I can't!"
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"I'm gonna cut my thumbs off tomorrow, I swear to God."
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"And we're gonna destroy that thing first thing in the morning. Okay?"
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"I don't want you to. I like it."
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"Hey, hey! Oh! It's growing in so nicely."
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"Yeah. Real in-between phase."
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"It's like Sonny Crockett down there."
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"Your turn."
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"on, fuck."
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"Okay, I'm awake."
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"Good morning."
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"You guys are up a little early today, huh."
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"Did we have some nightmares or something?"
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"Let's see what you made for daddy."
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"Let's see."
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"I wouldn't like to sleep with that in my pants, either."
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"But it did happen once in college."
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"Can you leave that bottle alone, honey?"
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"Can you put it down?"
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"Honey... Sarah..."
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"No, no! Sweetheart!"
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"Damn."
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"I know. I'll have you back in your warm little bed in one second."
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"Here you go. Back to bed, sweetheart."
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"You got a fresh, dry diapy."
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"Peter..."
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"Peter, please!"
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"Buddy, we talked about the head thing."
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"Let me get you all hooked up."
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"Hang on, don't fall."
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"Oh, no."
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"Peter... Oh."
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"Okay. A little something for daddy."
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"- Steel, Kuhbach, McCloud Law Firm. - Good morning."
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"Good morning, Lockwood."
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"Good morning, Mr. Steel."
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"Thank you."
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"How are the kids?"
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"Oh, they're terrific. Just terrific."
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"Children are such a joy."
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"Yes, absolutely. Always."
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"Any word on the Amalgamated merger?"
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"That's all but signed."
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"And just in time for your partner review, no less."
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"Really? Oh, I hadn't noticed."
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"I look forward to having your antic sense of humor"
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"in the partner suite, Lockwood."
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"It can get a touch dry up there."
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"Thank you so much. Hmm."
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"But a Double Windsor?"
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"Come on, son. This is not the dog track."
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"No. Yes."
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"Yeah."
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"Absolutely not. Thank you."
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"Hi."
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"Seriously, Dave, this isn't the dog track."
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"Yeah. Good morning, Sabrina."
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"Last week he told me my shoes were dangerously Italian."
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"what?"
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"My turn with the Amalgamated files?"
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"Yeah, I adjusted the WACC to reflect the new monthly projections,"
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"and I pre-negotiated articles 23 through 29."
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"Okay."
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"I like the way you had it before, by the way."
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"Yeah. Thank you."
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"Good morning, Patricia."
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"Penis, shit, vagina, cock, wolf pussies."
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"Mitch. I'm at work."
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"- Did I get you? - Yeah. You sure did."
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"You got me on speakerphone? Yep."
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"Did the secretary hear?"
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"Yes, the secretary heard. She heard it all."
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"That's awesome."
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"Not really. How stoned are you right now?"
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"I've taken some weed."
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"Have you? Mmm-hmm."
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"Do you know what time it is? Mmm-mmm."
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"It's like 9:00."
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"Holy fuck-knuckles."
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"Guess what I'm looking at right now. A bong?"
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"No, I found a futon on the street last night."
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"I sort of had to fight a bum for it. He was so thin."
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"And it also came with this vintage Navajo pony blanket..."
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"So I think that's pretty much a win for me."
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"Mitch, you know the adults are about to fire up a work day."
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"I know, I just miss you, dude, that's all. I miss you, too."
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"We've been super best buddies since third grade."
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"I haven't seen you in forever."
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"Oh, I've been swamped."
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"We're sleep-training the twins,"
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"and I just haven't had a moment to breathe."
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"I'm sorry, man. I'm just super-excited to see you."
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"We are still on for tonight, right?"
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"David? Yep."
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"- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - For the thingy."
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"Braves-Marlins. Please don't tell me that you forgot."
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"Didn't forget."
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"What time are you going to pick me up?"
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"Don't you bail on me, David."
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"I am not going to bail."
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"If you bail on me, I'm going to literally eye-rape you."
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"I got it."
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"I will actually place myself inside your ocular... Oh!"
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"It's my dad."
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"Mitch Planko, Sr. making a rare appearance."
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"This guy fucking hates me."
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"- I'll pick you up at 6:00. - Got it."
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"Kirk out."
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"Dad."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Oh, I just came by to tell you"
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"how incredibly proud of you I am, son."
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"I'm pretty baked right now,"
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"but I think you're being sarcastic."
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