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Clips from The Change-Up

"Did you know that atoms are smaller than a grain of sand?"
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"How amazing is that?"
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"So amazing!"
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"And everything on this planet is made out of atoms."
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"Which is kind of strange"
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"because I think that means that I'm the same as a piece of fruit"
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"or a fish"
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"or this chair!"
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"I'm me. God, I'm me. Thank you. Thank you."
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"God, look at that. Gorgeous!"
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"God, it's so good to be back!"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Welcome home. I missed you."
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"Look at that, two perfectly shorn balls."
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"Hi."
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"I left my purse. I would have called but..."
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"But you left your phone in your purse."
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"Yeah. Right."
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"I just wanted to apologize, because I know"
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"that I probably came off a little aggressive last night,"
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"and I just wanted to say sorry."
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"No."
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"Don't apologize. I apologize."
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"I probably came off a little gay last night."
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"I hope you will allow me the opportunity to straighten things out for you."
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"Hey, guess what? It's breakfast time."
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"Do you want to get some breakfast?"
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"Yeah."
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"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God"
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"to unite this man and this woman in the..."
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"Mitch, you came."
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"I'm very, very touched. Thank you."
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"You're welcome, Dad."
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"Ooh!"
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"Fuck me! This must be my new mom."
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"Hi, Mitch Planko."
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"Good. Thank you."
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"She's holding onto me."
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"Okay, good, let go."
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"Keep away from him. The man's a pervert."
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"Happy anniversary, Jamie and Dave!"
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"For those of you who don't know me, my name is Mitch Planko."
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"I was that nut sack's best man 10 years ago."
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"Here we go."
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"When we were kids, Dave and I, we had a lot of big plans."
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"Dave, he was going to be an astronaut,"
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"and I was going to sell dolphins on the black market."
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"Astronaut!"
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"There's a reason I'm not selling dolphins."
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"We live in Atlanta, they're tough to find."
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"And those things, they don't sleep,"
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"which also makes it real hard to catch them."
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"But I think that we all know"
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"that life doesn't always turn out exactly how you plan it."
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"Sometimes,"
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"just sometimes,"
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"it turns out better."
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"Dave, /think there's a reason"
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"that you're not wa/king on the moon right now."
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"It's because you belong here,"
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"in your life,"
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"with that incredible woman sitting beside you."
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"Can we please raise our Kamikaze shots"
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"to my two best friends, please?"
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"To Dave and Jamie."
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"Dave and Jamie!"
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"Happy anniversary."
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"Happy anniversary!"
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"How did I do? You're such a poet."
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"You're Robert Frost. Who?"
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"It doesn't matter. God, you're good looking."
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"Yeah."
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"I'm going to meet you in five minutes. All right."
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"Okay."
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"I took care of you guys, huh?"
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"We love you."
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"Oh..."
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"Come on. Really?"
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"Hey, buddy. I love you."
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"I love you, man."
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"How are things going at home? Good?"
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"Yeah. I mean, come on."
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"Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's fantastic."
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"Good. Yeah."
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"What about you? What about Sabrina?"
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"Good. It's good. We're taking things slow, but it's good."
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"Is it weird that I miss your penis?"
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"Come on. It would be weird if you didn't."
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"What are we doing here?"
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"We're doing this."
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"Huh?"
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"A little treat from Uncle Mitch."
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"Do you remember how to do this?"
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"okay."
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"Oh."
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"I know. Mmm."
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"it's fun, though, right?"
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"Yay! Let's go look at some fish."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, God!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Ow! What the hell was that? Oh."
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"Explain yourself!"
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"You've never heard of the Bryant Gumbel?"
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"Let's do that again."
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"Why?"
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"Mitch sent us a video. Yeah? That's weird."
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"No entry!"
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"Steve Driver, you perfect bastard, you!"
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"Oh, no."
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"Oh, Steve, it's like Christmas in my ass!"
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"What are you doing with my wife, man?"
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"- Dimitri? - Hey, join the fuck party."
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"Let's make lady sandwich. Okay."
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"Oh, my God. Not very well made, huh?"
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"When was that shot? Who Knows? Probably years ago."
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""Thank you for covering me last week. Love what you did with my hair.""
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"Hey!"
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"You got with a man?"
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"Dimitri was surprisingly gentle, and we were very safe."
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