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Clips from The Change-Up

"A brilliant attorney,"
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"loving husband,"
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"devoted father."
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"It is my distinct honor"
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"to introduce to you,"
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"our newest partner, David Lockwood."
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"Way to go, Dave."
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"Congratulations, Dave."
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"You deserve it."
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"This is not my life."
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"ls she kissing the wrong guy?"
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"I know it's weird. Just go with it."
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"We tried to tell you."
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"You ready to take a piss?"
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"You bet your ass I am."
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"I love you, pumpkin."
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"Are you sure this is the address?"
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"Yeah, this is the place."
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"You got to be kidding me. Oh, wow."
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"Jesus Christ, it's like the whole city is in here tonight."
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"Okay, let's just do this. Come on."
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"How are we supposed to get this done?"
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"You just be super cool..."
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"and don't draw attention to yourself."
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"Why aren't you peeing?"
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"I got a lot of people around me."
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"Don't yell at me. I'm all locked up."
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"No one is even looking at us. We're fine."
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"Mommy, that man is peeing in the fountain!"
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"Oh, my God."
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"The cat is out of the bag, buddy. You got to go now."
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"Why don't you take a picture? Mitch!"
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"Come on!"
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"It's snipped. Mitch! Mitch!"
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"By the way, why didn't you invite me to your anniversary party?"
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"Okay, look..."
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"I feel really bad about that"
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"but can we talk about that at another time?"
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"There is a girl scout staring at my penis."
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"I want to talk about it right now."
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"Really?"
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"Are you embarrassed of me?"
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"I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah, I was."
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"But I'm not any more."
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"I'm actually proud of you, Mitch."
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"Really?"
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"Really."
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"Attaboy!"
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"I think that's what had me all locked up."
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"Hey!"
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"Shit, we got security on us."
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"We got to do this right now."
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"Three, two, one..."
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"I wish I had my old life back!"
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"What did they say?"
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"Do you feel any different? No, go again."
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"I wish I had my old life back!"
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"Oh, shit! Come on, guy!"
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"We are running out of time here. Three, two, one..."
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"I wish I had my old life back!"
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"Bingo! Nice! Let's go, this way!"
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"I'm peeing all over people, slow down!"
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"Watch it!"
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"Excuse me, I'm sorry. Pardon me."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God."
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"Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God."
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"Pumpkin! Pumpkin, I'm back."
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"Pumpkin, wake up."
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"Can you wake up, baby? I'm back, I'm back."
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"Oh, my God, I missed you so much. Oh, honey."
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"Okay, I owe you an explanation for last night."
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"I owe you an apology for this week."
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"And most importantly, I owe you a fix for the last five years."
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"Honey, things are changing, I promise."
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"You and the kids mean everything to me. Nothing is more important."
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"In fact, I'm going to quit my job."
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"I'm going to work today, I'm going to quit my job."
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"I'm going to apply to Kinko's, all right?"
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"Or maybe Chick-fil-A or Waffle House? Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
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"Hold on, just a second. Foot Locker?"
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"It is the middle of the night. Shh."
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"All right, I don't know what's going on with you two dorks."
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"That's enough."
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"I don't want you to quit your job."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"You love your job and you love the law."
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"I love that about you."
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"I just want you to come home for dinner."
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"I know. And Dialogue Night."
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"And to see the kids."
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"And I want you to want to be here."
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"I do. You have no idea."
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"You don't have to get all, like,"
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""I'm going to quit my job.""
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"It's my turn. No, no, no."
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"Back to bed. They're mine."
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"I love you."
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"Hi!"
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"Look who's up."
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"Good morning."
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"Hi, my little man."
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"And how are you this morning, little princess?"
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"Good morning."
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"How was your sleep?"
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"Yeah, I know."
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"Okay, she's first."
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"She's a little bit more vocal."
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"Right?"
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"Are you trying to tell me you've got a little surprise?"
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"Did you make me something special?"
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"Daddy."
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"Hi, sugarbug, come here."
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"Give me a hug, sweetie."
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"Good morning."
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"You smell like a pillow."
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"Stay here, talk to me. Sit on that chair."
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"Tell me about school."
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"I want to know what you learned yesterday, okay?"
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"And I want to hear everything."
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