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Clips from The Change-Up

"It does seem odd that they're not leaving."
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"Punch her in the seat."
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"You can tell Kinkabe we want an extra 100 million."
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"And that is our final offer, because we're leaving."
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"Fuel the jet, let's go."
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"For the record, I did not support that decision."
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"Sir!"
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"Sir, Mr. Kinkabe has agreed to $725 million."
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"The deal is closed!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"What did I tell you?"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Wow."
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"Are you glad you came now?"
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"Am I glad I came? It's like the greatest day of my life!"
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"Where did that come from?"
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"Hang on, hang on, I got it."
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"Oh, no, they are going to call it."
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"- Man, this is amazing. - I can't believe they're making me partner."
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"I'm the greatest lawyer, ever."
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"What a day."
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"So, now you can be happy."
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"Do you think they are going to give me a medal?"
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"Could you imagine an engraved sword?"
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"Honestly, I'd be happy with anything engraved."
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"A sword or a spear."
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"Even a shield would be good."
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"Slap it, Cara. Cara."
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"We are gathered here tonight"
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"to celebrate the newest partner in our esteemed firm."
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"David Andrew Lockwood"
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"was born on March 25th, 1974."
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"By all accounts, Dave was a sweet,"
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"diligent, hardworking little boy."
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"Wow."
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"Yeah, I know."
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"I love it."
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"Why?"
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"It reminds me of high school."
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"I feel like I'm about to lose my virginity."
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"Bathroom?"
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"Yeah, right there."
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"Do you want a drink or something?"
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"Or warm clothes or I can get you a drink?"
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"No, it's okay. We'll have one after."
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"Okay. After what?"
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"Relax, Mitch, you're going to get laid tonight."
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"In high school, Dave graduated first in his class."
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"After winning a full scholarship to Princeton,"
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"Dave, amazingly, graduated in just three years."
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"And after graduating from Yale Law School with honors,"
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"Dave clerked for Justice Souter"
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"on the United States Supreme Court."
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"Work is hard."
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"I like going to baseball games"
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"and drinking too much, and getting tattoos at 3:00 in the morning."
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"Yeah."
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"Boot. Take it off."
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"We were not put on this earth to work, breed and die."
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"No, we were not... Don't interrupt me, handsome."
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"We are here to have fun."
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"Right? Yeah."
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"Boot."
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"I just think there's too many rules."
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"Think about all the amazing experiences that we miss out on"
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"because we're so worried about what other people will think."
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"Why can't I be a professional, successful woman"
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"who sleeps with someone she just met?"
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"You know?"
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"I haven't heard a word you said"
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"since you took your pants off."
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"Shirt."
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"Shirt."
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"You smell like lemons."
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"I do smell like lemons."
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"Oh, God, you're nervous. I like that."
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"Your leg is shaking."
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"That's not my leg."
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"Take off my bra."
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"All Of it?"
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"Just the parts covering the breasts."
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"That's a good start."
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"Oh, that's great."
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"At the end of the day..."
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"Holy shit!"
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"...I am just tired of over-thinking things."
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"I'm tired of over-thinking things, too."
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"We should just do what we want to do."
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"Let's do it. Let's just do it."
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"The only thing Dave loves more than the law"
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"is his beautiful wife, Jamie."
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"Their life is like a fairy tale"
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"made even more perfect by their three adorable children."
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"So, as we celebrate one partnership tonight..."
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"Look, Daddy, it's you and me."
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"...would bring most men to their knees,"
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"but not Dave."
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"He excelled on all fronts,"
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"putting the rest of us to shame."
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"I didn't earn this."
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"The /aw may be the first thing on Dave's mind,"
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"but his family has always been the first thing in his heart."
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"What should we do with each other, Mitch?"
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"Oh, God, everything."
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"We could..."
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"Is that a..."
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"Is that a many-spotted skipperling?"
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"Yeah."
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"Mmm."
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"You can have whatever you want."
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"What do you want to do?"
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"I want to go home."
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"What?"
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"I want to go home."
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"What? I don't..."
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"I got a meeting. I got to go."
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"Lockwood residence."
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"Where is Dave?"
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"Dave is at the country club. They made him partner."
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