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Clips from This Is 40

"Oh, my God. I don't eat my own dick."
This Is 40
"I ate my dick!"
This Is 40
"Kelly, I think this room has rodents."
This Is 40
"There! Just saw it."
This Is 40
"Have you seen my starfish?"
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"Where did I put my starfish?"
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"My God."
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"I'm gonna deep throat this éclair."
This Is 40
"I wanna make out with you so bad."
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"I felt like I was gonna choke!"
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"(SIGHS)"
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"That was nice."
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"Mom, Charlotte's crying"
This Is 40
"because she's got an ear infection again."
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"JODI: I didn't know what to do."
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"We're home."
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"Are you okay? (CHARLOTTE CRYING)"
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"What's the matter?"
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"I wanna rip my ear off, it hurts so much."
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"I told you that pediatrician didn't know what he was talking about."
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"Come on, you can't blame it on our doctor."
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"Ear infections are common in little kids."
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"Not in kids over six years old."
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"We're going to the Eastern doctor."
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"If she's in this much pain, then we should call a real doctor."
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"Are you kidding right now?"
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"(CHARLOTTE SOBBING)"
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"I know. Okay. Yup."
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"What we should do is easy and simple."
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"No more dairy, no more wheat, no more sugar."
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"Sugar, wheat and dairy. Okay. Yeah."
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"What the fuck is left?"
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"Sorry."
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"Isn't everything sugar, wheat, and dairy?"
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"She can have vegetables and fruits."
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"(IMITATES DOCTOR) Oh, but she can eat fruits."
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"Fruits. Yeah."
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"Any kind of fruit?"
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"Mangos, pineapple."
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"It isn't, there are safe fruits"
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"and then there are unsafe fruits? No, no."
This Is 40
"What about French fries?"
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"Could we do something like that? Are you okay?"
This Is 40
"Would you like to come on the table? I'm okay, I'm..."
This Is 40
"Why don't you go on the table?"
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"PETE: I don't wanna go on the table."
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"No. It looks like you need to get on the table."
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"I don't wanna get on the table."
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"Pete!"
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"(CAMERA CLICKING)"
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"PETE: God damn it."
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"What are you doing?"
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"I need you to look at something. In my butt."
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"(CONTINUES CLICKING)"
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"Why?"
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"I think I got something in there,"
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"and I'm not limber enough to see."
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"I need you to look at it, all right?"
This Is 40
"I think I might have an anal fissure, or a hemorrhoid, or a worm or something."
This Is 40
"What are you doing with your phone?"
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"I'm trying to take pictures of it so I can compare it to something on Google."
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"Can we just keep just a small shred of mystery"
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"in our relationship, please?"
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"Look, I saw you have two babies, okay?"
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"Seriously, I need you to get up all in that."
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"I do not want to investigate your anus."
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"Payback time."
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"(SIGHS)"
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"It's a hemorrhoid."
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"Thank you."
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"Now, erase that from your memory."
This Is 40
"Where'd she get those clothes? Those are expensive clothes."
This Is 40
"Think. Where do you think?"
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"I don't want this to sound harsh,"
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"but everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie."
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"Everything that goes into it is a dick."
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"Everything that goes in is dicks?"
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"A dick."
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"Don't say that."
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"I'm sorry. I'm just being protective of the store."
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"I'm going to go talk to her."
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"Hey, Desi."
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"Hi. Hi."
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"Is that your new Acura out front?"
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"Uh, yeah."
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"It's so nice."
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"Do you love it?"
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"I mean, it's not a fucking Porsche, but it'll do for now."
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"Huh."
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"Hey, Desi, would you mind wearing"
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"some of the clothes that we have in the store?"
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"Yes. Yeah, I'm sorry."
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"Will that be okay? Yeah."
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"Perfect."
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"Good?"
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"You know, I actually made this one myself."
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"Did you? Yeah."
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"The tiger, I did it on a piece of paper separately,"
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"and then I actually transferred it to the T-shirt."
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"Wow."
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"So, you stenciled on the tiger?"
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"I drew it on a piece of paper and then"
This Is 40
"I transferred the drawing to the T-shirt."
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"You have an amazing body."
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"Really?"
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"Yes. Are those real?"
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"My boobs? Yeah."
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"Yeah. Do you wanna touch them?"
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"Really?"
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"Touch them."
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"Okay."
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"Wow."
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"Huh."
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"Jesus."
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"I mean, they really are amazing. That's firm, for real."
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"They're like a memory mattress."
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"It's, wow, like Tempur-Pedic, you know?"
This Is 40
"They look amazing."
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"My kids just sucked the meat right out of mine."
This Is 40
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