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Clips from The Mighty Boosh - Hitcher (S01E01)

"Welcome to the show. My name's Howard Moon."
The Mighty Boosh
"- This is Vince Noir. - All right?"
The Mighty Boosh
"This week I'm gonna be playing a host of characters."
The Mighty Boosh
"But don't be afraid. It's just that as an actor I can play any emotion."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I've seen him. It's pretty powerful. - Yeah."
The Mighty Boosh
"Here's a little taster of what I can do."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What's that? - Grief of a sailor."
The Mighty Boosh
"- That is genius. Do another one. - You like that?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- What's that? - Cornish guilt."
The Mighty Boosh
"- How's that? You likin' it? - Cornish guilt? Timeless characters."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Can you act? - Can I act?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Not really, no."
The Mighty Boosh
"That was me acting then."
The Mighty Boosh
"Likin' that. The twist-around."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What else have you got? - Loads of stuff."
The Mighty Boosh
"Go on, then. Surprise me."
The Mighty Boosh
"Welcome to the show."
The Mighty Boosh
"..to the world of The Mighty Boosh."
The Mighty Boosh
"# Come with us to The Mighty Boosh # The Mighty Boosh"
The Mighty Boosh
"# Come with us to The Mighty Boosh #"
The Mighty Boosh
"And now, kids, our final stop on the tour of the Zooniverse..."
The Mighty Boosh
"- lvan, the hairy Russian carpet guy. - The bear?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Well, yeah, if you wanna use the Latin."
The Mighty Boosh
"Anyway, when this guy's not busy being a carpet,"
The Mighty Boosh
"he lo-o-o-oves his dancin'."
The Mighty Boosh
"And accompanying him today"
The Mighty Boosh
"is Vince Noir and his lowly assistant, Howard Moon."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You know what we're doing? - An electro-pop classic."
The Mighty Boosh
"No, jazz funk. We did electro last week. It's jazz funk this week."
The Mighty Boosh
"Hey, dung-heads, let's move it along."
The Mighty Boosh
"OK. This is a track I've composed myself."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's a kind of slap-bass odyssey, if you like."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's called, simply, Particle. Thanks."
The Mighty Boosh
"One, two, three, four."
The Mighty Boosh
"(# Slap bass)"
The Mighty Boosh
"(Grunts)"
The Mighty Boosh
"- He doesn't look happy. - Cos he's a communist."
The Mighty Boosh
"He doesn't understand the service industry."
The Mighty Boosh
"What he doesn't understand is,"
The Mighty Boosh
"if carpet-man don't dance,"
The Mighty Boosh
"carpet-man don't eat."
The Mighty Boosh
"- (Roars) - You seem kind of scared."
The Mighty Boosh
"But don't worry, these bars could stop a speeding juggernaut."
The Mighty Boosh
"Head for the hills! You're on your own, everybody!"
The Mighty Boosh
"Don't kill me! I loved Lenin!"
The Mighty Boosh
"Naboo, you saved my life."
The Mighty Boosh
"l have to kiss you passionately on the mouth."
The Mighty Boosh
"Ooh! My nuts!"
The Mighty Boosh
"Oh, yeah. This is more like it, eh?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Getting out on the open road, getting away from the zoo."
The Mighty Boosh
"Yeah. I feel at home on the road, Vince."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's in my blood."
The Mighty Boosh
"l think it's because, when I was young, l moved around a lot."
The Mighty Boosh
"l lived with my parents, but on weekends l'd visit my grandparents,"
The Mighty Boosh
"and they lived over 40 minutes away, in Wakefield."
The Mighty Boosh
"l think, from that, I developed a kind of spiritual...wanderlust, if you like."
The Mighty Boosh
"Yeah. I always felt a kinship"
The Mighty Boosh
"with the nomadic peoples of the Kalahari."
The Mighty Boosh
"- No way. - Mm. It's true."
The Mighty Boosh
"- No way! - Yeah, a deep bond."
The Mighty Boosh
"They're making a Bollywood version of The Fonz."
The Mighty Boosh
"Have you listened to anything I've said?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Er...something about calamari. I'm not hungry."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm trying to have a conversation here."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm trying to get some deep conversation going. Cos I'm driving."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What d'you want to talk about? - Well, you know, about me."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm a free spirit. I can't be hemmed in."
The Mighty Boosh
"People try to put me in a box but I break free."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Who's trying to put you in a box? - That's the nature of me."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Who's trying to put you in a box? - Well, people, you know. The man."
The Mighty Boosh
"Have you contacted the police about this?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- No. The man. You know. - What are you on about?"
The Mighty Boosh
"People try to put people in boxes."
The Mighty Boosh
"No one's trying to put you in a box. You're the wrong size."
The Mighty Boosh
"Let's forget about this conversation."
The Mighty Boosh
"- How would you even get in a box? - Read your magazine."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You wanted to have a conversation. - I'm suddenly tired of that."
The Mighty Boosh
"Just check on lvan, will you?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- How's he doing? - He looks a bit bored."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What are you doing? - Giving him something to read."
The Mighty Boosh
"- The Face? He's a Russian bear. - So what?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Give him some Chekov."
The Mighty Boosh
"- D'you want something to eat? - Yeah, I'm quite hungry."
The Mighty Boosh
"I've got it all in here. Ultraviolets, flying saucers,"
The Mighty Boosh
"strawberry bootlace. Get involved."
The Mighty Boosh
"Have you got any food?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yeah. Saturn zingers. - No, like real food."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Neptune fizz. - Have you ever heard of rice?"
The Mighty Boosh
"I've heard of Rice Krispies. Hey, Howard..."
The Mighty Boosh
"Check this out."
The Mighty Boosh
"Wait."
The Mighty Boosh
"That's how turtles eat."
The Mighty Boosh
"This journey's gonna fly by."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I made some tapes for the journey. - Oh, right."
The Mighty Boosh
"This is The Best Of The '60s."
The Mighty Boosh
"And this is The Best Of The '70s."
The Mighty Boosh
"And this...is Gary Numan."
The Mighty Boosh
"- No. No way. We're not having that. - What?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Oh, come on. - Absolutely not."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm drawing a line under that. That's it."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Why? - I'm driving. We're having my music."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Oh, not jazz? - No."
The Mighty Boosh
"This, my friend, is jazz funk."
The Mighty Boosh
"Oh... The double. That's even worse."
The Mighty Boosh
"The cerebral musicality of jazz mixed with the visceral groove of funk."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Funk? Funk? - What a combo."
The Mighty Boosh
"Jazz's deformed cousin."
The Mighty Boosh
"- (# Repetitive jazz funk) - Check this out."
The Mighty Boosh
"Feeling that? Wait till the slap-bass solo comes in."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's coming up."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's coming up now."
The Mighty Boosh
"Maybe it's on the other side."
The Mighty Boosh
"Here we are, it's coming now. This is it. It's coming up."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Just...need to... - (Tape fast-forwards)"
The Mighty Boosh
"It's coming up now. Ready for this?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Ah! It's not that. Just a minute. It's coming."
The Mighty Boosh
"The next... It sounds the same a bit before and then..."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Really? - It's coming."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's coming up. It's coming up."
The Mighty Boosh
"- (# Slap bass) - Ooh!"
The Mighty Boosh
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