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Clips from Arrested Development - Marta Complex (S01E01)

"It was Michael's sister's anniversary. - Hi."
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"He'd convinced his mother to throw a party for her."
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"Lindsay, how's this for an anniversary cake?"
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"Anniversary? You asked me to throw a Valentine's Day party."
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"- Did I? - You tricked me."
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"I deceived you, Mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship."
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"Touche. Lupe, untie the balloons!"
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"Michael, all alone on Valentine's Day?"
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"How's that possible?"
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"You seem like such a romantic to me."
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"l- l-I can just see you showing up on some lucky girl's porch..."
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"in a tuxedo with a bottle of champagne."
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"Yeah. Well, if I show up with all that stuff..."
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"I could probably just get away with shorts and a T-shirt, right?"
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"Which is good 'cause I don't even have a tuxedo."
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"So you're saying there's no one you're even interested in?"
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"In fact, Michael had become enamored of Marta..."
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"when Gob was having second thoughts about the relationship."
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"- I've made a huge mistake. - But when Gob recommitted to her..."
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"- I've made a huge mistake. - Michael decided to do the noble thing and let her go."
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"There was somebody for a while, but it was too much of a brother... bother."
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"That can't feel good."
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"It's fine. I'm over it. I'm okay by myself, you know?"
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"I really just want to focus on my family's happiness."
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"That's why I threw this party. I mean, 14 years, huh?"
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"You've got to be doing somethin' right."
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"Well, if you call not filing for divorce something right."
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"- But I guess we keep it interesting. - Where's Tobias?"
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"He's on the balcony having margaritas with Carl Weathers."
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"Tobias had recently hired actor Carl Weathers as a drama coach."
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"Do you see me more as the respected dramatic actor..."
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"or more the beloved comic actor?"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! There's still plenty of meat on that bone."
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"You take this home, throw it in a pot. Add some broth, a potato..."
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"Baby, you got a stew goin'."
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"Yes, that's fine. But I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers."
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"I did give you my last $1,100."
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"Let me tell you a little story about acting."
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"I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice, with Anne Archer."
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"Never once touched my per diem."
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"I go to craft service, get some raw veggies, bacon, cup of soup..."
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"Baby, I had a stew goin'."
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"I think I'd like my money back."
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"Like his father, George Michael had been nursing an impossible crush."
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"It was on his cousin, Maeby."
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"And with no one to talk to, he was looking for some kind of direction."
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"just give me a sign."
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"First one's obvious. Okay."
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"He continued to look for a sign."
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"- Until finally... - Maybe tonight."
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"What are the chances?"
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"Actually, Maybe Tonight was a very popular candy slogan..."
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"and the chances were one in eight."
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"- What are you doin'? - Just tryin' to throw stuff at my dad's head..."
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"- but the wind keeps taking it. - Oh, cool."
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"So, I, uh... I found this."
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"I thought it was like a one-in-a-million thing. It just made me think of you."
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"- Oh, perfect. - Trying to make my relation..."
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"- I saw that. - And Lucille..."
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"found a way to force a wedge into her son's relationship."
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"Lucille, guess who's coming to dinner?"
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"I've invited Carl to dine with us next Tuesday."
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"Mother, you know I have class on Tuesday."
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"Oh, how silly of me."
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"Well, then perhaps the two of you can have dinner alone."
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"Oh, well, I never say no to dinner, with a beautiful lady that is."
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"- Do you like ham? - No. I love it."
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"And the family gathered to watch a videotape..."
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"George Sr. had sent Lindsay and Tobias for their anniversary."
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"Hello, I'm George Bluth..."
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"and for the next 45 minutes..."
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"let me take you on a journey..."
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"Good grief. He sent us one of his idiot videotapes."
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"First this... - You've seen George Bluth on videotape."
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"You have got to learn to be alone."
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"I cheated and I lied. And I whored around."
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"Caged Wisdom changed my life."
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"Now is your chance to own the entire George Bluth Caged Wisdom library..."
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"for only four payments of 19.95."
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"- This was supposed to be my anniversary toast. - Yeah."
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"And this was supposed to be my Valentine's Day party."
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"Speaking of which..."
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"Lupe, where are those balloons?"
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"You want balloons?"
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"Speech, speech, speech..."
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"{Joining In] Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech..."
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"speech, speech, speech speech..."
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"- Come on, speech. - Speech, speech, speech, speech..."
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"The family continued to chant, Speech, speech, speech'..."
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"for no one in particular."
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"- Speech, speech... - All right."
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"Speech."
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"After all that, I was kinda hoping somebody would make a speech."
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"- Speech, speech, speech... - All right, all right, all right. I'll say something."
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"- Typical. - We've all had a tough couple of months."
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"I think we're all really figuring out who we are..."
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"and what we really need in life."
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"And that can be painful."
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"However, you can't really heal yourself until you stop living a lie, you know."
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"But, uh, l-I promise that we're all gonna be a lot happier in the long run."
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"So, on a very unusual Valentine's Day..."
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"cheers to Mom and Dad, to Buster and Lucille..."
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"- Don't forget my girlfriend. - That's who I meant."
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"- Don't forget my girlfriend. - That's who I meant."
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"To Lindsay and Tobias, to George Michael and..."
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"I almost said George Michael and Maeby."
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"- Oh. - Um, to Gob and Marta."
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"- Mmm. - To love and happiness."
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"I love you all, Marta."
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"And Marta realized it was Michael, not Gob..."
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"who had everything she had been looking for in a man."
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"I made a huge mistake."
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"I was thinking about that toast you gave at my anniversary party."
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"- So, I want to get a divorce. - What?"
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"Do you think I should use our attorney, Barry, or just kind of bolt in the night?"
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"I'm leaning toward bolt in the night, but..."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lindsay, I wasn't talking about getting a divorce."
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"Oh, Michael. It's time."
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"The man's psychologically incapable of taking all of his clothes off."
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"In fact, Tobias was a never-nude."
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