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Clips from Betas - Takin' It to the Streets (S01E01)

"Look, we hooked up a few times. It literally meant nothing."
Betas
"I knew it! You boned down on Lisa."
Betas
"How was she? She likes it rough, right?"
Betas
"Like a lot of buttoned-up girls do."
Betas
"- Did you go downtown? - Are you serious?"
Betas
"I'm just trying to get a visual, man."
Betas
"Suck your balls?"
Betas
"Hi there. We're, uh, looking for Brenda?"
Betas
"She moved."
Betas
"That's impossible. I saw her three weeks ago, right here."
Betas
"Did she leave a forwarding address?"
Betas
"Somewhere in Oakland."
Betas
"(sighs)"
Betas
"So, um, who's this connect of yours?"
Betas
"Uh, she's a friend. She's a graphic designer."
Betas
"Does some sex work on the side."
Betas
"Oh. That's word. Sex work is chill."
Betas
"I definitely consider myself, uh, sex positive."
Betas
"Do you ever listen to Dan Savage's podcast?"
Betas
"- No. - Oh, it's the best."
Betas
"How come you only call me when you want something?"
Betas
"Oh, come on. It's not even fucking like that."
Betas
"Oh, snap. You're from Dane's wall."
Betas
"Dane? Are you still screwing that idiot?"
Betas
"(A), no, and B), not your fucking business anymore."
Betas
"God, the shittier you are to me, the more I want you."
Betas
"Mm."
Betas
"This space is the bomb dot com, by the way, you know."
Betas
"Dope floors. What are these, uh, Pirelli tiles?"
Betas
"Oh, no. I'm okay. Thank you."
Betas
"I like a little scruff, you know."
Betas
"Gives my face some definition. Sure. (clears throat)"
Betas
"Try not to draw attention to the fact"
Betas
"that we're buying illicit substances, kay?"
Betas
"- Right. - I'll be back."
Betas
"We'll be here. Ah. (laughs) "Terminator", ya'll."
Betas
"(laughs) Hey, yo, what are you doing?"
Betas
"Shut up."
Betas
"Oh, I like this."
Betas
"The idea of holding a man down,"
Betas
"a sharp blade against his neck..."
Betas
"It's fucking hot, right?"
Betas
"Yeah. Totally. It's super hot."
Betas
"Yeah. What do ya say, Mitchy?"
Betas
"You wanna fulfill a girl's fantasy?"
Betas
"Uh, all right."
Betas
"Yeah. Go ahead."
Betas
"- Shave me. - Hmm."
Betas
"(laughs)"
Betas
"No, come on."
Betas
"Oh."
Betas
"I'm yours now."
Betas
"(laughing)"
Betas
"Hey, well played, Bitchell. (laughs)"
Betas
"- Thank you. - (sighs)"
Betas
"(clears throat)"
Betas
"Oh."
Betas
"Thanks for the drugs."
Betas
"Sorry. Um..."
Betas
"It's all about energy,"
Betas
"and love is the highest vibrational energy there is."
Betas
"Can you feel it?"
Betas
"That's your crown chakra opening up."
Betas
"(laughs)"
Betas
"(hums)"
Betas
"Hot buttered Christ on a stick."
Betas
"Young man, I know for a fact, that's not your pie!"
Betas
"Jesus, mom, don't burst a vessel."
Betas
"At least offer some to your guest."
Betas
"Don't be such a asshole."
Betas
"I don't even know this guy."
Betas
"(sighs)"
Betas
"Want some pie?"
Betas
"Pie?"
Betas
"(doorbell rings, phone chimes)"
Betas
"Fuck. Another threat from Jordan. We have four hours."
Betas
"Don't respond, she feeds on misery."
Betas
"She's a blogger. Bloggers are garbage."
Betas
"What are we gonna do? I mean, Brenda's obviously not home."
Betas
"Well, we could break into her house, check her laptop?"
Betas
"There might be useful data."
Betas
"That's a double-bitted lever tumbler."
Betas
"If I just had the right tools, I could..."
Betas
"- Door's open. - Okay."
Betas
"Owwww! Fuck. (grunts) This is my Ab Curler."
Betas
"It's the only piece of exercise equipment I've ever gotten into."
Betas
"Shut up. Will you shut the fuck up?!"
Betas
"Oh fuck."
Betas
"Okay. Grab it. Let's go."
Betas
"- Just a second. - What are you doing?"
Betas
"Dude, we need to leave now."
Betas
"The word loser is highlighted like 50 times, dude."
Betas
"Bad teeth. Giamatti face?"
Betas
"Don't do this to yourself. Let's just go."
Betas
"(sighs) Oh. Turns out I'm high-anused, which I knew."
Betas
"And Bren cheated on me. That, I did not know."
Betas
"What the fuck, dude?"
Betas
"BRB is on the brink of collapse and you're spiraling"
Betas
"into some kind of self-destructive vortex."
Betas
"We've wasted the whole fucking day!"
Betas
"Well, if you hadn't insisted on launching early, we wouldn't"
Betas
"have gotten into this shit-storm in the first place!"
Betas
"This is on you!"
Betas
"(sighs) You know how you still"
Betas
"can't figure out why Brenda left you?"
Betas
"Well, let me help you out..."
Betas
"...it's cause you're a depressing sack of shit!"
Betas
"Oh, yeah. You're such a charmer"
Betas
"Lisa left you after fucking you one time!"
Betas
"It was eight times. We fucked eight times."
Betas
"- Oh, you counted the times? - Yeah."
Betas
"Ah!"
Betas
"Ah! (grunts) Ah!"
Betas
"- Oh! - What the fuck?"
Betas
"Hobbes! What the fuck are you doing here?"
Betas
"Jon Carlo? What is this?"
Betas
"Dude, I... I wanted to tell you about us earlier."
Betas
"Can I get some fucking ice?"
Betas
"Are you insane? You just break into my house?"
Betas
"What the fuck are you doing? I almost killed your friend!"
Betas
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