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Clips from Never Have I Ever - ...had an Indian boyfriend (S03E03)

"[upbeat music playing]"
Never Have I Ever
"[McEnroe] Well, the jig was up."
Never Have I Ever
"Devi and Des had been caught rounding second…"
Never Have I Ever
"Des, honey, do you know where my credit card--"
Never Have I Ever
"[McEnroe] …and were now in the dugout waiting to be ejected from the stadium."
Never Have I Ever
"See? I know more sports than just tennis."
Never Have I Ever
"Okay, guys, listen."
Never Have I Ever
"I know you're both attractive, vivacious young people"
Never Have I Ever
"with growing bodies and needs, but I'm afraid this is a no-go."
Never Have I Ever
"Why? I've had girlfriends before."
Never Have I Ever
"I get that, honey, but Nalini doesn't allow Devi to date,"
Never Have I Ever
"and we have to respect her boundaries."
Never Have I Ever
"[McEnroe] Oh God, look at her face."
Never Have I Ever
"This punishment was gonna be stiff."
Never Have I Ever
"Maybe military school?"
Never Have I Ever
"A year in solitary?"
Never Have I Ever
"A job in the mines?"
Never Have I Ever
"You know what? I'm going to allow it."
Never Have I Ever
"-Huh? [McEnroe] Huh?"
Never Have I Ever
"I'd obviously rather you not date"
Never Have I Ever
"until you have received an advanced degree of some sort,"
Never Have I Ever
"but since you insist on disobeying me constantly,"
Never Have I Ever
"I'm just going to take a win where I can get one."
Never Have I Ever
"Nalini, what are you saying?"
Never Have I Ever
"Des is far better than the riffraff I've caught my daughter with."
Never Have I Ever
"He's a polite Indian boy with a bright future,"
Never Have I Ever
"and aside from this nonsense,"
Never Have I Ever
"he's actually been a good influence on her."
Never Have I Ever
"Well-- [laughs]"
Never Have I Ever
"Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't want you to feel pressured into anything."
Never Have I Ever
"Let's give it a try."
Never Have I Ever
"And as long as you act like respectable young people from good families,"
Never Have I Ever
"I approve."
Never Have I Ever
"[McEnroe] Hold the damn phone!"
Never Have I Ever
"Is Devi really allowed to have a boyfriend for the first time ever?"
Never Have I Ever
"Holy shit. This kicks ass!"
Never Have I Ever
"[upbeat music continues]"
Never Have I Ever
"So she just said, "Cool, sure, kiss Des all you want"?"
Never Have I Ever
"Has she had any surgeries recently?"
Never Have I Ever
"My aunt's personality changed after she got her knee replaced."
Never Have I Ever
"Turns out she was hooked on oxy."
Never Have I Ever
"No, she's totes sober."
Never Have I Ever
"Can you believe it? Des and I are free."
Never Have I Ever
"So what are you gonna do now that you're out in the open?"
Never Have I Ever
"I have a whole itinerary."
Never Have I Ever
"On Friday, he's coming to my orchestra concert with our moms."
Never Have I Ever
"On Saturday, we're bowling, and Sunday, we're gonna PDA up by the Hollywood sign."
Never Have I Ever
"Hey, if all goes well, maybe your mom will become as loosey-goosey as Eric's."
Never Have I Ever
"I heard she lets Rosalia stay the night."
Never Have I Ever
"Huh."
Never Have I Ever
"[crunching]"
Never Have I Ever
"Man! Can't believe Eric lost his virginity before all three of us!"
Never Have I Ever
"[smacks lips]"
Never Have I Ever
"Yeah, um, but why have you not?"
Never Have I Ever
"We've been kinda wondering. I mean, you've been dating Trent for over a year."
Never Have I Ever
"Did all those dick taps lead to penis probs?"
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"No, I'm actually the holdup."
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"You? But you say words like "sensuelle" and sleep on satin sheets."
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"You're like the horniest person I know."
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"Thank you, but I'm also a romantique."
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"I don't want my first time to be on Trent's trundle bed"
Never Have I Ever
"atop bong water stains."
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"Okay, then what do you want for your first time?"
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"Nothing crazy, just to be standing on a windswept moor,"
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"wearing a bodice, when suddenly a caped nobleman appears,"
Never Have I Ever
"and we make love against the bricks of an old abbey."
Never Have I Ever
"Mm-kay. Yeah, very specific."
Never Have I Ever
"Maybe you should tell Trent about this fantasy"
Never Have I Ever
"so he could, like, buy you guys tickets to Scotland."
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"No way. If I have to spell it out for him, it ruins the romance."
Never Have I Ever
"Then you may never have sex."
Never Have I Ever
"Well, that's a price I'm willing to pay."
Never Have I Ever
"[indistinct chatter]"
Never Have I Ever
"Uh, David, love a little help with our experiment here"
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"if you aren't too busy making demented faces into your phone."
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"Sorry, my mom just gave me and Des the okay to officially date."
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"So now my sexy selfies"
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"don't have to include homework questions in them anymore."
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"Wait. She's letting you date blazer dork? Why?"
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"Because according to her,"
Never Have I Ever
"he was preferable to the other lowlives she's caught me with. No offense."
Never Have I Ever
"Hey, I thought your mom and I had a good rapport."
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"Clearly not good enough."
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"You know what this means, right?"
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"Des is a weenie."
Never Have I Ever
"Uh-- No, he's not."
Never Have I Ever
"If your mom's not worried at all about you being with him,"
Never Have I Ever
"then he's gotta be a real dickless beta. Like a full Ken doll."
Never Have I Ever
"Okay, you know what? You're just jealous that I'm in a mature relationship,"
Never Have I Ever
"and that you are one TV dinner away from being like my Uncle Aravind."
Never Have I Ever
"He's obsessed with the metaverse."
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"Whatever. He sounds cool."
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"[inhales deeply]"
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"Are you still gonna work the door at my concert for volunteer hours?"
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"Yeah, but they stuck me in coat check even though it's springtime in Los Angeles"
Never Have I Ever
"-and no one wears coats. -Excellent."
Never Have I Ever
"Then you'll see us as a couple,"
Never Have I Ever
"and see that Des isn't dickless at all."
Never Have I Ever
"Ew! Why would I see that?"
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"-Okay, you know what I mean. -Oh."
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"[Paxton] All right, my phone's recording. Let's see if baby boy got into college."
Never Have I Ever
"Shit, it's not loading. Come on."
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"It's okay. Just breathe."
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"Here it comes."
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"-I'm in! -[squeals]"
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"Yes! I got into college!"
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"-Yes! [laughs] -Yeah! [laughs]"
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"Cal State Long Beach! Oh my God!"
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"Congratulations! You get to go to school near one of America's busiest ports!"
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"[Paxton] Yeah!"
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"And I'm not even worried about the hour-long drive."
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"Finally ready to give podcasts a try."
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"Thanks, bro."
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"All right, I guess now we just have to see what ASU said."
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"AS what? What even are those letters?"
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"Arizona State University."
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"Arizona, as in the state, Arizona?"
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"Okay, I just have to click this and…"
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"-Oh shit! I got in! -[gasps]"
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"-Oh my God! -[squeals, laughs]"
Never Have I Ever
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