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Clips from Broad City - Working Girls (S01E01)

"It does exactly what it says it's gonna do."
Broad City
"Lincoln, you gave all these dogs all your love and now you're"
Broad City
"leaving me like, tight and dry."
Broad City
"I'll kick it with you later. Okay, cool."
Broad City
"See you later, General Tso."
Broad City
"Is that his name?"
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"Yeah, I name them based on their personalities."
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"There's General Tso, there's Dumbface."
Broad City
"That's Ballsack,"
Broad City
"and that is star of Ugly Betty"
Broad City
"and Who's the Boss?"
Broad City
"The wonderful, the esteemed..."
Broad City
"Judith Light!"
Broad City
"Oh, my God."
Broad City
"She is!"
Broad City
"That's so Judith! That is dead on!"
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"All right, I'll see y'all later."
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"All right, peace. Later, Judith."
Broad City
"Judith, now that I know that you are Judith Light,"
Broad City
"I can't let you back in that tiny-ass apartment."
Broad City
"We'll drop these bitches off"
Broad City
"and you're chilling with me all day."
Broad City
"Last stop in Manhattan."
Broad City
"The train will now be going express to 37th Street."
Broad City
"Sorry."
Broad City
"Oh."
Broad City
"All right."
Broad City
"Uh, hello..."
Broad City
"Garol."
Broad City
"I'm not sure if I'm in the right place..."
Broad City
"You are. Okay."
Broad City
"I'll just hand that... All right."
Broad City
"Oh, Jesus."
Broad City
"Thank you so much."
Broad City
"It took me so long... ID."
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"Jeremy Santos."
Broad City
"No, I'm not a man."
Broad City
"Jeremy's actually my... he's my husband."
Broad City
"So."
Broad City
"We both work so much."
Broad City
"You know how it is."
Broad City
"But when we're home, we're home and we..."
Broad City
"I need his ID or he can come down here"
Broad City
"with two pieces of mail with his name on it."
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"Gar... ol, you seem like, so great."
Broad City
"I can just tell from this interaction."
Broad City
"Can you just like, look the other way this time?"
Broad City
"I'm sorry, I can't."
Broad City
"My supervisor's watching."
Broad City
"I'm sorry, I will have someone there right away."
Broad City
"Linda Lodi Temp Agency, please hold."
Broad City
"Hey. Where have you been?"
Broad City
"I've got no temps sent out, I've got the phone ringing"
Broad City
"off the hook, I'm getting threatening e-mails."
Broad City
"My scalp is burning."
Broad City
"What are you doing?"
Broad City
"Have you been eating those?"
Broad City
"Yeah. How many have you had?"
Broad City
"30 or like, 100."
Broad City
"30 or 100?"
Broad City
"These are for a guess- how-many contest!"
Broad City
"Well, you should label every side."
Broad City
"Well, now I have to count the whole thing over again."
Broad City
"I don't believe this."
Broad City
"You don't even know how many you had?"
Broad City
"Jesus, what a day."
Broad City
"One, two, three, four, five."
Broad City
"Ten. Six, seven, eight, nine, 10."
Broad City
"15... five, six, seven, eight, nine... 17, 18..."
Broad City
"You're messing me up."
Broad City
"Now I have to start over."
Broad City
"One, two, three, four, five."
Broad City
"Oh, my God, I killed her!"
Broad City
"Judith Light!"
Broad City
"59, 60."
Broad City
"Hello? Bevers."
Broad City
"I need you to steal two pieces of Jeremy's mail from like,"
Broad City
"the front hall and bring them to North Brother Island"
Broad City
"like, immediately, okay?"
Broad City
"And then you're going to have to pretend to be him."
Broad City
"I'd love to, but I'm actually out"
Broad City
"with some friends right now."
Broad City
"You're not in the apartment?"
Broad City
"No, we're on the same schedule."
Broad City
"If you're not there, I'm not there."
Broad City
"When you're there, I'm there."
Broad City
"Okay, just shut up, listen."
Broad City
"If you do this for me right now, I'm gonna..."
Broad City
"I will buy you a Costco rotisserie chicken."
Broad City
"Uh, sold."
Broad City
"I'll head over as soon as I finish my mimosa."
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"Okay."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"Hi."
Broad City
"Oh, my God, Judith."
Broad City
"We induced vomiting, he's gonna be fine."
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"He? Yeah."
Broad City
"Oh, my God."
Broad City
"I looked for his dick forever."
Broad City
"All that hair."
Broad City
"Well, he's probably stressed from the day."
Broad City
"Do you guys have dog Xanax?"
Broad City
"For him, Judith Light."
Broad City
"We do, but I don't think it's necessary. Cool."
Broad City
"If I wrapped it up in a piece of cheese for him to eat"
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"and then I accidentally swallowed that piece of cheese,"
Broad City
"would I die or be like, super chill?"
Broad City
"I'm not going to prescribe you dog Xanax."
Broad City
"Oh, no."
Broad City
"No, I didn't mean... No."
Broad City
"I see how... No, no, no."
Broad City
"Cool."
Broad City
"One last quick Q."
Broad City
"Um, are human hemorrhoids the same as dog hemorrhoids,"
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"and if so, does dog hemorrhoid cream work"
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"on human buttholes?"
Broad City
"No."
Broad City
"Yeah, I got here as soon as I could."
Broad City
"How did you get a cab to come here?"
Broad City
"The Whitestone Bridge is right over there."
Broad City
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