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Clips from Broad City - Working Girls (S01E01)

"Even if it didn't happen exactly like that, like,"
Broad City
"I think this was a huge step for us for real,"
Broad City
"because he said he owes me one."
Broad City
"Owes you one?"
Broad City
"His dick, dude!"
Broad City
"You think so?"
Broad City
"Oh, he's gonna thank you."
Broad City
"So wear that candy thong I got you from Spencer's."
Broad City
"You ate it like, as soon as you gave it to me."
Broad City
"Listen, I really gotta go. I gotta let you go, sweetie."
Broad City
"I'm about to start at this temp job... Bye bye."
Broad City
"Sorry."
Broad City
"I had to take that."
Broad City
"You made that call in the middle of our conversation."
Broad City
"Did I?"
Broad City
"I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel here."
Broad City
"Look, my whole staff is out with food poisoning."
Broad City
"I took them to lunch, that sushi place underneath Penn Station."
Broad City
"Oh, I love that place."
Broad City
"Yeah, it's usually good, right?"
Broad City
"Anyway, look, when a call comes in, just check the database,"
Broad City
"send out the first person available,"
Broad City
"and that's pretty much it."
Broad City
"Got it? Yeah."
Broad City
"Okay, I'm going to leave you on your own."
Broad City
"I gotta go get my hair fixed."
Broad City
"Yeah, what happened there?"
Broad City
"I tried this new stylist."
Broad City
"I said, Do whatever you want."
Broad City
"I am way too trusting of strangers."
Broad City
"Anyway, here's the keys."
Broad City
"I'll catch you later, okay?"
Broad City
"Good luck. Bye."
Broad City
"Are you okay?"
Broad City
"Is a forever thing."
Broad City
"Hey, Bevers, you hear the door knock earlier?"
Broad City
"Mm-hmm. Why didn't you answer it?"
Broad City
"I know you don't like me to answer the door"
Broad City
"because I don't technically live here."
Broad City
"Yeah, you don't technically live here,"
Broad City
"but when I'm not home, feel free to answer the door."
Broad City
"It could be something important."
Broad City
"Okay, now we've worked that out."
Broad City
"Yeah, great."
Broad City
"Hi, thanks for holding."
Broad City
"So your package is still on the truck, but you can pick it up"
Broad City
"from the distribution center after 4:30."
Broad City
"I'm just confused."
Broad City
"Why was the package delivered at 9:49 when the delivery window"
Broad City
"was supposed to start at 10:00?"
Broad City
"It's a flexible window."
Broad City
"Windows are never flexible."
Broad City
"That's not how they work. Sorry."
Broad City
"Your borough's distribution center is on."
Broad City
"North Brother Island. Is that in New York?"
Broad City
"I've never even heard of that."
Broad City
"Yes, in the East River."
Broad City
"Take the 6 train to the last stop"
Broad City
"and transfer to the M83 bus to the water taxi."
Broad City
"Boom, you're there. Thank you, I guess?"
Broad City
"You'll never get off the island."
Broad City
"What did you just say? I'm sorry."
Broad City
"I'm watching Shutter Island."
Broad City
"Good luck."
Broad City
"What up?"
Broad City
"Is this Linda?"
Broad City
"No, I'm just a temp."
Broad City
"You're a temp at a temp agency?"
Broad City
"Touche."
Broad City
"What up? This is Wet Nose Walkers."
Broad City
"We need a temp to cover one of our dog walker routes."
Broad City
"Absolutely, sir, that's what we do best."
Broad City
"Um..."
Broad City
"What's the address?"
Broad City
"Yeah!"
Broad City
"I'm making bank, bitch!"
Broad City
"Oh, my God."
Broad City
"You are insane."
Broad City
"Ab, I'm becoming a mogul a la Jay-Z, a la Martha Stewart,"
Broad City
"a la Bethenny Frankel."
Broad City
"From Housewives? Yeah."
Broad City
"Next thing you know, I'm backstage at Barclays"
Broad City
"with RiRi and Bebe... Who?"
Broad City
"Rihanna and Beyonce."
Broad City
"And we're just laughing and sipping on champagne"
Broad City
"with like, candlelight. 'Cause that happens all the time."
Broad City
"RiRi leans in for a kiss and then she..."
Broad City
"Goes down on you. Yeah."
Broad City
"Yeah, you... you say that story a lot."
Broad City
"Oh... cool."
Broad City
"Oh, my God!"
Broad City
"I didn't know you had plans with Lincoln. We don't have plans."
Broad City
"We're just going to have sex at one of these dogs' apartments."
Broad City
"Super classy."
Broad City
"I'd do it."
Broad City
"I'd pick up your poop, you're worth it."
Broad City
"So I know why I missed the window."
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"I jinxed myself. Why, what do you mean?"
Broad City
"'Cause I bought too many condoms."
Broad City
"It's the story of my life,"
Broad City
"so just gonna deal with it."
Broad City
"But I won't make out with you."
Broad City
"That's what white people do, that dog thing."
Broad City
"Black people don't make out with dogs."
Broad City
"So what do you think is in Jeremy's package?"
Broad City
"Oh, look at you."
Broad City
"You're standoffish, huh?"
Broad City
"I've narrowed it down to a bunch of things."
Broad City
"I made a little list here."
Broad City
"Okay, so I think it's either, um, clues to a mystery"
Broad City
"that he's gonna solve,"
Broad City
"a manly handcrafted axe,"
Broad City
"or a really great belt."
Broad City
"Nah, dude, it's a Fleshlight."
Broad City
"Ilana, why do you have to ruin him for me?"
Broad City
"It's not a Fleshlight."
Broad City
"It's healthy."
Broad City
"I gotta head back to the office."
Broad City
"One of these dumb kids broke his jaw on a Jawbreaker."
Broad City
"Why would you even do that?"
Broad City
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