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Clips from Physical - Let's Take This Show on the Road (S01E01)

I'm Danny Rubin, and I'm running for State Assembly.

"I'm Danny Rubin, and I'm running for State Assembly."

Physical

- Daddy, TV! - This is my beautiful wife, Sheila,

"- Daddy, TV! - This is my beautiful wife, Sheila,"

Physical

- and our daughter, Maya. - That's right, sweetie. Daddy's on TV.

"- and our daughter, Maya. - That's right, sweetie. Daddy's on TV."

Physical

Did you hear that, babe? She said, "Daddy, TV." Is that cute or what?

"Did you hear that, babe? She said, "Daddy, TV." Is that cute or what?"

Physical

- Save Our Wave… - Yeah. It's cute.

"- Save Our Wave… - Yeah. It's cute."

Physical

Hey, babe.

"Hey, babe."

Physical

You did this.

"You did this."

Physical

Credit where credit's due.

"Credit where credit's due."

Physical

That's probably one of your fans.

"That's probably one of your fans."

Physical

Let's see.

"Let's see."

Physical

- Hello. - Hello.

"- Hello. - Hello."

Physical

Is this Rubin for assembly headquarters?

"Is this Rubin for assembly headquarters?"

Physical

May I ask who's calling, please?

"May I ask who's calling, please?"

Physical

Certainly. This is Maggie from KTSD Accounting.

"Certainly. This is Maggie from KTSD Accounting."

Physical

How are you doing today?

"How are you doing today?"

Physical

I'm well.

"I'm well."

Physical

We had a problem with the check you sent for payment.

"We had a problem with the check you sent for payment."

Physical

It looks like it got returned to us.

"It looks like it got returned to us."

Physical

That must have been a clerical mistake on our end.

"That must have been a clerical mistake on our end."

Physical

We'll send another one out to you right away.

"We'll send another one out to you right away."

Physical

Great. If you wouldn't mind sending that as soon as possible

"Great. If you wouldn't mind sending that as soon as possible"

Physical

so we can avoid having to pull the ad off the air, that would be terrific.

"so we can avoid having to pull the ad off the air, that would be terrific."

Physical

We'll take care of this right away. I'm so sorry for the mix-up.

"We'll take care of this right away. I'm so sorry for the mix-up."

Physical

That bitch is gonna love this.

"That bitch is gonna love this."

Physical

Tanya, it's Sheila.

"Tanya, it's Sheila."

Physical

Sheil, hi. Did you hear I was pregnant?

"Sheil, hi. Did you hear I was pregnant?"

Physical

Yes. I got your card. It's beautiful. The house, you.

"Yes. I got your card. It's beautiful. The house, you."

Physical

My God. I know, right?

"My God. I know, right?"

Physical

I'm just so happy for you both.

"I'm just so happy for you both."

Physical

Life is sweet. Life is sweet. And how are you and Danny doing?

"Life is sweet. Life is sweet. And how are you and Danny doing?"

Physical

Not so good. Thank you for asking. Danny and I could really use your help.

"Not so good. Thank you for asking. Danny and I could really use your help."

Physical

We hate LA. We're LA haters. At least we were.

"We hate LA. We're LA haters. At least we were."

Physical

Yeah, we still are. LA is the land of the phonies and the sellouts.

"Yeah, we still are. LA is the land of the phonies and the sellouts."

Physical

And we have three events on this weekend already.

"And we have three events on this weekend already."

Physical

Like the Pacific Beach weenie roast that five people showed up to?

"Like the Pacific Beach weenie roast that five people showed up to?"

Physical

Those were five voters.

"Those were five voters."

Physical

Nobody in LA can even vote for you, even if they could read the ballot.

"Nobody in LA can even vote for you, even if they could read the ballot."

Physical

I think Jer's got a point here, babe. I mean, the clock is ticking.

"I think Jer's got a point here, babe. I mean, the clock is ticking."

Physical

Time is running out, and I'm wasting that time, you know,

"Time is running out, and I'm wasting that time, you know,"

Physical

shaking hands and kissing babies outside the constituency.

"shaking hands and kissing babies outside the constituency."

Physical

Listen, you wanna go to La-La Land and hang with Loni Anderson, be my guest.

"Listen, you wanna go to La-La Land and hang with Loni Anderson, be my guest."

Physical

But wait until you've been elected.

"But wait until you've been elected."

Physical

All right? Right now it's just a distraction.

"All right? Right now it's just a distraction."

Physical

You are not letting that hippie turd derail this.

"You are not letting that hippie turd derail this."

Physical

Hey, I don't like the place any more than you do,

"Hey, I don't like the place any more than you do,"

Physical

but LA is where the big money is.

"but LA is where the big money is."

Physical

We can make more in one night at Jack and Tanya's

"We can make more in one night at Jack and Tanya's"

Physical

than we can in a month of San Diego weenie roasts.

"than we can in a month of San Diego weenie roasts."

Physical

It's a better use of your time and energy.

"It's a better use of your time and energy."

Physical

We're just building some momentum. We can't stop now.

"We're just building some momentum. We can't stop now."

Physical

Okay!

"Okay!"

Physical

Great workout, guys.

"Great workout, guys."

Physical

Hey, dude! I mean, sup?

"Hey, dude! I mean, sup?"

Physical

Just, you know, you haven't been by, like, in a little bit.

"Just, you know, you haven't been by, like, in a little bit."

Physical

Yeah. Sorry about that, Tyler.

"Yeah. Sorry about that, Tyler."

Physical

My tape guy's set to dupe us more copies as soon as we nail down the cover art.

"My tape guy's set to dupe us more copies as soon as we nail down the cover art."

Physical

So I was playing around with a couple options.

"So I was playing around with a couple options."

Physical

Are you stoked on either of these. I...

"Are you stoked on either of these. I..."

Physical

Feel free to be just, like, super honest.

"Feel free to be just, like, super honest."

Physical

But you don't have to go out of your way to be hurtful.

"But you don't have to go out of your way to be hurtful."

Physical

- These are great. - Seriously?

"- These are great. - Seriously?"

Physical

That means…

"That means…"

Physical

I mean, that feels rad that you like them.

"I mean, that feels rad that you like them."

Physical

- Yeah, especially this one. - That's by far my fave as well.

"- Yeah, especially this one. - That's by far my fave as well."

Physical

If I'm being fully honest, this other one is total dog shit.

"If I'm being fully honest, this other one is total dog shit."

Physical

I mean, it's just not what I expected.

"I mean, it's just not what I expected."

Physical

It's... It's very cool.

"It's... It's very cool."

Physical

Two grand should cover the first run. Four if we're feeling good.

"Two grand should cover the first run. Four if we're feeling good."

Physical

These things are gonna sell like hot…

"These things are gonna sell like hot…"

Physical

You don't have two grand.

"You don't have two grand."

Physical

You barely have two nickels to rub together.

"You barely have two nickels to rub together."

Physical

What are you thinking?

"What are you thinking?"

Physical

So, I'm actually out of town for a few days.

"So, I'm actually out of town for a few days."

Physical

- I was hoping that Bunny can... - You're leaving.

"- I was hoping that Bunny can... - You're leaving."

Physical

That makes sense.

"That makes sense."

Physical

- Yeah, just for a few days. - Yeah, Bun.

"- Yeah, just for a few days. - Yeah, Bun."

Physical

For a few days.

"For a few days."

Physical

And when I get back, we'll get things rolling.

"And when I get back, we'll get things rolling."

Physical

Yeah, Bun. When she gets back.

"Yeah, Bun. When she gets back."

Physical

- Motherfucking piece of shit. - Here you go, hon.

"- Motherfucking piece of shit. - Here you go, hon."

Physical

I already got it, but thanks.

"I already got it, but thanks."

Physical

My pleasure.

"My pleasure."

Physical

You packed a lot.

"You packed a lot."

Physical

You sure you're just going away for the weekend?

"You sure you're just going away for the weekend?"

Physical

I like to have options.

"I like to have options."

Physical

And I like to wear underwear. Heard of it?

"And I like to wear underwear. Heard of it?"

Physical

Gonna go visit your parents while you're up there?

"Gonna go visit your parents while you're up there?"

Physical

I'm sure Danny will love that.

"I'm sure Danny will love that."

Physical

I don't talk to my parents.

"I don't talk to my parents."

Physical

You know, Danny is smarter than I am about a lot of things.

"You know, Danny is smarter than I am about a lot of things."

Physical

Big picture stuff, ideas.

"Big picture stuff, ideas."

Physical

But he's got his blind spots too.

"But he's got his blind spots too."

Physical

Have a great weekend, Jerry.

"Have a great weekend, Jerry."

Physical

What did you do?

"What did you do?"

Physical

If we're gonna do this, might as well do it right.

"If we're gonna do this, might as well do it right."

Physical

- But how much did this cost? - No, no, relax. Relax.

"- But how much did this cost? - No, no, relax. Relax."

Physical

No, no charge at all.

"No, no charge at all."

Physical

Yeah, jogging buddy let me borrow it. I saved his life.

"Yeah, jogging buddy let me borrow it. I saved his life."

Physical

Ended up being an ankle sprain.

"Ended up being an ankle sprain."

Physical

But, you know, either way, I was the one there with the ice, so.

"But, you know, either way, I was the one there with the ice, so."

Physical

Come on.

"Come on."

Physical

Here, come on.

"Here, come on."

Physical

Yeah. You go over there.

"Yeah. You go over there."

Physical

- Is this not the best? - What do you think? You like it?

"- Is this not the best? - What do you think? You like it?"

Physical

- Well, I got work to do, so. - Yeah?

"- Well, I got work to do, so. - Yeah?"

Physical

- Have a great trip. - You do?

"- Have a great trip. - You do?"

Physical

All right, Jerry.

"All right, Jerry."

Physical

Happy birthday to you

"Happy birthday to you"

Physical

Thank you, everybody.

"Thank you, everybody."

Physical

Thank you, darling.

"Thank you, darling."

Physical

What? You didn't make a wish.

"What? You didn't make a wish."

Physical

Well, I'm a little old for that now, don't you think?

"Well, I'm a little old for that now, don't you think?"

Physical

You're never too old for a wish.

"You're never too old for a wish."

Physical

Fine.

"Fine."

Physical

I wish for the continued good health of my family.

"I wish for the continued good health of my family."

Physical

You can't say it out loud. It's terrible luck.

"You can't say it out loud. It's terrible luck."

Physical

And this year of all years,

"And this year of all years,"

Physical

when you're turning the age when your father was called back.

"when you're turning the age when your father was called back."

Physical

We are a family of faith, not superstition,

"We are a family of faith, not superstition,"

Physical

but there's no reason not to cover your bases.

"but there's no reason not to cover your bases."

Physical

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