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Clips from Master of None - Old People (S01E01)

"I was raising a family when I was 20 years old."
Master of None
"Wow, I definitely couldn't have done that when I was 20."
Master of None
"Would have been hard to support a family on school credit"
Master of None
"that I was earning for my internship at Nickelodeon."
Master of None
"There must have been some fun times, though."
Master of None
"I once hitchhiked to Atlantic City"
Master of None
"on an ice truck to see Sinatra."
Master of None
"See? That's a story."
Master of None
"What am I gonna tell my kids?"
Master of None
""Oh, once my mom drove me to see Hootie and the Blowfish.""
Master of None
"You'll have stories, believe me."
Master of None
"I hope so."
Master of None
"All right, so let's say"
Master of None
"you didn't have to settle down so quick."
Master of None
"What do you think you would have done?"
Master of None
"I don't know. I always loved music."
Master of None
"Maybe something in that field."
Master of None
"I wish Rachel still played music."
Master of None
"Her band was fantastic."
Master of None
"Rachel was in a band? I didn't know that."
Master of None
"It was called... a scam band, or a... scar band."
Master of None
"Wait, Rachel was in a ska band?"
Master of None
"Yeah."
Master of None
"Her band was called Nostraskamus?"
Master of None
"[laughs]"
Master of None
"Grandma Carol, please give me this photo."
Master of None
"Can I have it? Please, please, please."
Master of None
"I'm begging you. Let me have it, please?"
Master of None
"Why don't you borrow it"
Master of None
"and bring it back when you visit me next week?"
Master of None
"Deal."
Master of None
"You ready to get dinner?"
Master of None
"Yeah, one sec."
Master of None
"Just finishing this beautiful stallion's mane."
Master of None
"Perfect."
Master of None
"[whimpers]"
Master of None
"Hey, Dad, do you mind if Paro comes to dinner with us?"
Master of None
"That puppet thing?"
Master of None
"[laughs] Oh, no. I'm just kidding."
Master of None
"Never mind."
Master of None
"Warm?"
Master of None
"See you after dinner, buddy."
Master of None
"All right, Grandma Carol."
Master of None
"We broke you out of your retirement home."
Master of None
"You hitchhiked on an ice truck to see Sinatra."
Master of None
"Between us, what's the worst thing you've ever done?"
Master of None
"Well, one time, before the kids were born,"
Master of None
"I stole a car."
Master of None
"What? Grandma Carol!"
Master of None
"How did that happen?"
Master of None
"[Carol] I was walking on the street,"
Master of None
"and I saw a man leave his car running"
Master of None
"and go into a store."
Master of None
"For some reason, I felt like"
Master of None
"I had to get in and start driving."
Master of None
"I don't know what came over me."
Master of None
"I just had to do it."
Master of None
"I got on the highway and took off."
Master of None
"The car was a convertible."
Master of None
"I still remember the wind on my face."
Master of None
"For the first time in years,"
Master of None
"I felt like I could go anywhere,"
Master of None
"do anything."
Master of None
"The possibilities were endless."
Master of None
"Then something happened to the car."
Master of None
"I don't know what."
Master of None
"It started making strange noises,"
Master of None
"and the hood started smoking."
Master of None
"I thought about calling my brother Johnny,"
Master of None
"who was a mechanic, but I was pretty sure"
Master of None
"he'd be mad at me for being a thief."
Master of None
"So I just pulled over, got out, and walked away."
Master of None
"Harry never even knew."
Master of None
"Got on a bus, came home,"
Master of None
"cleaned the house, made us dinner."
Master of None
"Wow."
Master of None
"But you didn't really steal the car."
Master of None
"You kind of just moved it to a random place."
Master of None
"[cell phone buzzes]"
Master of None
"Oh, hold on. Oh, it's Rachel."
Master of None
"I'll see if she wants to meet up."
Master of None
"- Hey. - Hey!"
Master of None
"I just got a call from the home,"
Master of None
"and they said that my grandma's missing."
Master of None
"What happened when you left? Did she say anything?"
Master of None
"Oh, no, no, no. She's fine. She's here with me right now."
Master of None
"What? Where are you?"
Master of None
"At Bamonte's?"
Master of None
"She told me it'd be fine if we snuck out for a few hours,"
Master of None
"as long as we got back before curfew."
Master of None
"She's fine. I promise."
Master of None
"Oh, thank God she's okay."
Master of None
"Could you just take her back to the home?"
Master of None
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really sorry."
Master of None
"I'll bring her back right now. We'll just meet you at the home."
Master of None
"Bye."
Master of None
"I'm in deep shit now, Grandma Carol."
Master of None
"I heard. It's fine."
Master of None
"Thanks for taking me out."
Master of None
"Let me go to the bathroom, and then we'll go."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"Hey. What's that in your backpack?"
Master of None
"You know the rules. No pets in the building."
Master of None
"Oh, it's not a pet. It's just Paro."
Master of None
"He's the best. You want to pet him?"
Master of None
"Why would I want to do that?"
Master of None
"Here, hold him."
Master of None
"[chuckles] What is this?"
Master of None
"[whimpers]"
Master of None
"He's kind of cute. Hi."
Master of None
"Hey, I got to go meet a friend."
Master of None
"You want to hold on to him for a while?"
Master of None
"Yeah, all right, if it'll help you out."
Master of None
"Thanks, Gideon."
Master of None
"[sighs]"
Master of None
"Goodbye, friend."
Master of None
"Paro, how are you?"
Master of None
"[whimpers]"
Master of None
"Grandma Carol?"
Master of None
"Carol, you in there?"
Master of None
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