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Clips from Master of None - Old People (S01E01)

"That's what happens when you get old."
Master of None
"You get dumped in one of these places,"
Master of None
"and they give you a little robotic seal."
Master of None
"[whimpers]"
Master of None
"Paro?"
Master of None
"You know Paro?"
Master of None
"Yeah, my friend's grandpa had one,"
Master of None
"but he's dead now."
Master of None
"Sorry."
Master of None
"I'm really hungry. We should have some dinner."
Master of None
"Do they have any food here?"
Master of None
"The food here is terrible."
Master of None
"You know what would be great?"
Master of None
"Bamonte's."
Master of None
"That old-school Italian red sauce place?"
Master of None
"Let's go!"
Master of None
"All right. Sure."
Master of None
"Yeah, I'm not doing anything else. Let's go."
Master of None
"You distract the orderly while I make a run for it."
Master of None
"Wait, what? What are you talking about?"
Master of None
"I can't leave the home unless I'm with someone"
Master of None
"who's on the approved chaperones list."
Master of None
"You're not on the list."
Master of None
"Why don't we just sneak out?"
Master of None
"People do it all the time."
Master of None
"I don't know, Grandma Carol."
Master of None
"Maybe we should just stay here."
Master of None
"I won't want us to get in trouble."
Master of None
"Fine, then the other option is, you stay here with me,"
Master of None
"and then we go to tonight's show."
Master of None
"The Amazing Brandon."
Master of None
"[Dev] The endless handkerchief?"
Master of None
"That's his headlining trick?"
Master of None
"Very underwhelming."
Master of None
"He's the owner's nephew."
Master of None
"He's horrible."
Master of None
""Quarter from behind your ears" on the flyer?"
Master of None
"Bamonte's."
Master of None
"Bamonte's, Bamonte's, Bamonte's, Bamonte's, Bamonte's!"
Master of None
"All right. Fuck The Amazing Brandon."
Master of None
"Let's go eat."
Master of None
"[laughs]"
Master of None
"Hey! There he is. Michael."
Master of None
"So, hey, um, I got a grandpa,"
Master of None
"and he's thinking about moving here"
Master of None
"to this facility."
Master of None
"And I just wanted to talk to you"
Master of None
"'cause I recently saw this Dateline piece"
Master of None
"about a retirement facility in Maryland"
Master of None
"where, uh, the workers were practicing wrestling moves"
Master of None
"on the residents."
Master of None
"Some of these clips were pretty brutal."
Master of None
"There was this one guy, Mongo."
Master of None
"He would give people pile drivers."
Master of None
"You know what that is?"
Master of None
"That's where you take someone, you flip them up,"
Master of None
"and you slam their head down like this, boom!"
Master of None
"I mean, I don't think my grandpa"
Master of None
"could handle something like that."
Master of None
"Oh, we've never had any abuse issues here."
Master of None
"Um, okay."
Master of None
"This one guy who just loved clotheslining people."
Master of None
"He was just like, "Watch out, Agnes!" Pff!"
Master of None
""Look out, Raymond!" Pff!"
Master of None
""Coming through, Arthur!" Pff!"
Master of None
""Clear the way, Cecilia!" Pff!"
Master of None
""Here I come, Margaret!" Pff!"
Master of None
""All right--" You know, just awful."
Master of None
"So, Anthony, what are the specials?"
Master of None
"Today we have an excellent chicken Milanese,"
Master of None
"a veal Francese,"
Master of None
"and my personal favorite,"
Master of None
"homemade pappardelle with an oxtail ragù."
Master of None
"Boníssima!"
Master of None
"Ooh, Anthony, you're getting me very excited"
Master of None
"with all these dishes."
Master of None
"Carol, I'm a man of many interests,"
Master of None
"but my true passion might be pasta."
Master of None
"Rigatoni with vodka sauce?"
Master of None
"Gnocchi with Bolognese?"
Master of None
"Bamonte's combination salad?"
Master of None
"Well, that doesn't sound that exciting, but I bet it's good."
Master of None
"[upbeat traditional Italian accordion music]"
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"[inaudible dialogue]"
Master of None
"So tell me how you met my lovely granddaughter."
Master of None
"Um, it was at a dance, a formal dance."
Master of None
"Oh, come on."
Master of None
"Tell me the truth."
Master of None
"Don't treat me like some old prude."
Master of None
"All right. Well, we met at a bar."
Master of None
"And we both got pretty drunk,"
Master of None
"and, uh, we hooked up that night."
Master of None
"Then you started dating?"
Master of None
"No, that night got a little complicated"
Master of None
"for reasons I probably shouldn't get into."
Master of None
"But we ran into each other a few weeks later."
Master of None
"Then you started dating?"
Master of None
"No, she was still seeing her ex-boyfriend at that time,"
Master of None
"but they eventually broke up."
Master of None
"And we started texting back and forth."
Master of None
"We took a trip to Nashville together."
Master of None
"And then we started dating."
Master of None
"Wow."
Master of None
"There were much fewer steps for me and Harry."
Master of None
"What was it like dating back then?"
Master of None
"Seems like everything was a little nicer and simpler."
Master of None
"A guy from the neighborhood came up and said,"
Master of None
""You're beautiful."
Master of None
"I'm gonna marry you.""
Master of None
"Then he did. Then you raise a bunch of kids."
Master of None
"Your husband dies. Your kids put you in a home."
Master of None
"And then you're eating pasta"
Master of None
"with your granddaughter's ethnic boyfriend."
Master of None
"Seems nice, though."
Master of None
"You committed to a relationship, and it worked."
Master of None
"You weren't constantly concerned about what else was out there."
Master of None
"I was lucky."
Master of None
"Other people were miserable."
Master of None
"And everything happened so fast."
Master of None
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