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Clips from Master of None - Old People (S01E01)

"that you've been in New York so long."
Master of None
"What was it like here when you were growing up?"
Master of None
"What did your parents do?"
Master of None
"My father was a blacksmith."
Master of None
"He made all the horseshoes for the horses and buggies."
Master of None
"So there was, like, horse and buggies"
Master of None
"just trotting down Bleeker Street?"
Master of None
"That's insane."
Master of None
"The other day I pressed a button on my phone,"
Master of None
"and some dude went and grabbed me groceries from Whole Foods."
Master of None
"We've really come a long way."
Master of None
"- [cell phone buzzes] - Hello?"
Master of None
"[sighs] Are you kidding me?"
Master of None
"He won't."
Master of None
"Okay, okay. Um, I'll come as soon as I can."
Master of None
"All right, bye."
Master of None
"I am so sorry."
Master of None
"This band that I work with"
Master of None
"is playing Fallon tonight,"
Master of None
"but their drummer just did some mushrooms"
Master of None
"and he thinks he's a dinosaur and won't go onstage."
Master of None
"So I have to go and deal with this."
Master of None
"You have to leave already? You just got here."
Master of None
"- You work too much. - Oh, I'm sorry, Grandma."
Master of None
"I'll come back and visit as soon as I can."
Master of None
"I promise."
Master of None
"All right, Dev. Let's go."
Master of None
"Um, you know, why don't I stay here"
Master of None
"and hang with Grandma Carol?"
Master of None
"We should finish our game."
Master of None
"And, you know, I'll just meet up with you later."
Master of None
"[Rachel] Uh, you sure?"
Master of None
"[Dev] Yeah. We'll be fine."
Master of None
"Okay. Um, text me if you need anything."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"Okay."
Master of None
"Bye, Grandma."
Master of None
"Yes, darling."
Master of None
"I love you. Bye."
Master of None
"What the hell does Rachel do for a living?"
Master of None
"Do you understand her job?"
Master of None
"She does music PR, so, you know, she's in charge of--"
Master of None
"[stammering]"
Master of None
"All right, I don't know what she does."
Master of None
"We get free tickets for concerts, though."
Master of None
"It's nice."
Master of None
"--twelve years old, and she was a nun."
Master of None
"Talk about pressure."
Master of None
"Whoa!"
Master of None
"Ho!"
Master of None
"[laughter]"
Master of None
"[DeVito] Come on! Hit 'em."
Master of None
"[Paro whimpering]"
Master of None
"[Schwarzenegger] Oh!"
Master of None
"Hit 'em. Hit 'em. Hit 'em."
Master of None
"Yeah!"
Master of None
"[laughter]"
Master of None
"What do you want?"
Master of None
"Trying to watch TV."
Master of None
"[whimpers]"
Master of None
"You want to watch with me?"
Master of None
"[whimpers]"
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"[DeVito] --uh, my life has been just getting better and better."
Master of None
"Mine, too."
Master of None
"I'm so happy, Vincent."
Master of None
"I feel like sometimes, like"
Master of None
"picking you up!"
Master of None
"Whoa!"
Master of None
"- [chuckles] - Hug you, hug you, hug you!"
Master of None
"You liking this?"
Master of None
"[barks]"
Master of None
"And then we jump into a helicopter, right?"
Master of None
"But there's all these infected zombies,"
Master of None
"and they form, like, this zombie pyramid,"
Master of None
"and they're all trying to climb in."
Master of None
"But I'm on a machine gun like..."
Master of None
"[yelling]"
Master of None
"And then later, the scientist is with the president, right?"
Master of None
"And the president's like,"
Master of None
""What's the situation in Kentucky?""
Master of None
"And the scientist is like, "Kentucky, Madam President?"
Master of None
"Kentucky is gone. The sickening, it got them all.""
Master of None
"And then later on,"
Master of None
"I sacrifice my life, and I save Colin."
Master of None
"And then Colin goes on to save the world."
Master of None
"Not for me. Sounds frivolous."
Master of None
"You know what I like?"
Master of None
"Blacklist. It's a great show."
Master of None
"You need to get on Blacklist."
Master of None
"- All right. - [knock at door]"
Master of None
"Everything okay in here?"
Master of None
"With us, yes. You, I'm not so sure about."
Master of None
"This handsome young man"
Master of None
"may be stealing me away from you, Michael."
Master of None
"Yeah, Michael."
Master of None
"Carol said you never take her out anymore."
Master of None
"[laughs] Well, you be careful."
Master of None
"She's a handful."
Master of None
"[laughs]"
Master of None
"He seems nice."
Master of None
"I hate that guy."
Master of None
"What's he so damn chipper about?"
Master of None
"He steals our phone chargers. I know it."
Master of None
"I don't know if that's really a profitable racket."
Master of None
"- Are you sure? - Oh, I'm sure."
Master of None
"He's not in it for the money. It's about power."
Master of None
"This may be weird to ask, but why are you even here?"
Master of None
"You seem like you can take care of yourself."
Master of None
"I was completely fine."
Master of None
"And then one day, I fell, and everyone panicked,"
Master of None
"and they put me in this god-awful place."
Master of None
"It doesn't seem so bad."
Master of None
"You got puzzles, books-- Mostly Bibles,"
Master of None
"but there's a few Koontzes in there."
Master of None
"There's nothing to do here."
Master of None
""Come on, Carol, let's go sit"
Master of None
"in the butterfly garden for 15 minutes.""
Master of None
"I don't want to see any more goddamn butterflies."
Master of None
"Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry."
Master of None
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