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Clips from BoJack Horseman - Stop the Presses (S03E03)

"[The Closer] She warned you that you wouldn't want to know her."
BoJack Horseman
"-Do you have someone you can talk to? -About what?"
BoJack Horseman
"You know that old joke about how many psychiatrists"
BoJack Horseman
"does it take to screw in a light bulb? The answer is just one,"
BoJack Horseman
"but the light bulb has to want to change?"
BoJack Horseman
"-I don't know that joke. -That's it. That's the whole joke."
BoJack Horseman
"The light bulb has to want to change."
BoJack Horseman
"That's actually not the point of the joke."
BoJack Horseman
"-Hey. I need to talk to you. -What the... I'm on the phone."
BoJack Horseman
"You never saw me."
BoJack Horseman
"What I want is to have control over my own life."
BoJack Horseman
"[engine starting]"
BoJack Horseman
"to please cancel my delivery of the L.A. Gazette."
BoJack Horseman
"No, because that's just theater."
BoJack Horseman
"It allows you to think you're in control, but the whole idea of control is a myth."
BoJack Horseman
"The universe is a wild beast."
BoJack Horseman
"Live inside the beast? That's a mixed metaphor."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm going to sign you up for another six months."
BoJack Horseman
"Remember the three D's: drive safely, drive efficiently,"
BoJack Horseman
"and don't harass the passenger."
BoJack Horseman
"-Todd, can I talk to you for a second? -Sure. Driver, pull over, please."
BoJack Horseman
"-Can I talk to you alone? -Of course."
BoJack Horseman
"[imitating partition whirring]"
BoJack Horseman
"I've been thinking, and you should do this without me."
BoJack Horseman
"What? But the whole point is we're doing it together."
BoJack Horseman
"You have a whole team of coders,"
BoJack Horseman
"and I don't think that I can work in this house."
BoJack Horseman
"-What's wrong with the house? -Todd, I just--"
BoJack Horseman
"I don't understand."
BoJack Horseman
"Did I do something to make you feel uncomfortable?"
BoJack Horseman
"No. You are great. It's me and... BoJack."
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack? [sighing] What did he do this time?"
BoJack Horseman
"I don't think I've been a very good friend to you."
BoJack Horseman
"Things happened and..."
BoJack Horseman
"Who knows? It might be worth something someday."
BoJack Horseman
"You shouldn't waste that on people who don't deserve it."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, you want this plum? I found it in the kitchen."
BoJack Horseman
"-Ana... -You need to leave."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't want to go home tonight. I want to sleep in your bed,"
BoJack Horseman
"I wanna see what you look like waking up."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"And I want to go with the mirror ads for Secretariat."
BoJack Horseman
"-BoJack, no, listen. -Ana."
BoJack Horseman
"This is my campaign, I know what I'm doing."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm the star and what I say goes."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"[Carolyn] It kind of just looks like a billboard for the sky."
BoJack Horseman
"-I didn't think this part through. -No kidding."
BoJack Horseman
"It is eerily beautiful."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, good. Yeah. Wouldn't want the ad for my movie to be interpretable."
BoJack Horseman
"Beautiful. So we spent half a million dollars on an Oscar campaign for KIIS-FM."
BoJack Horseman
"I'd hate to drive here at rush hour."
BoJack Horseman
"When the sun goes down and hits that billboard,"
BoJack Horseman
"Well, the good news is BoJack got what he wanted."
BoJack Horseman
"[all gasping]"
BoJack Horseman
"- ♪ I'm BoJack the Horseman ♪ - ♪ BoJack ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"Boxer vs. Raptor, ♪ Na-na na-na na-na na-na! ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"-[voices overlapping] -[groaning]"
BoJack Horseman
"Mind if I put you on hold one second?"
BoJack Horseman
"Calm down. We can sort this out without having to get the Closer involved."
BoJack Horseman
"I went through the entire checklist, sir. Even offered him a free tote bag."
BoJack Horseman
"How can I help you?"
BoJack Horseman
"Fabulous. Johnny will get that to you in three, two, one..."
BoJack Horseman
"What was that?"
BoJack Horseman
"I made a giant papier-mâché Todd head to scare it away. Think it'll work?"
BoJack Horseman
"[The Closer] So, why did you let them use your house?"
BoJack Horseman
"Then you came to the right place."
BoJack Horseman
"The same reasons three million people subscribe to the L.A. Gazette."
BoJack Horseman
"That was a mistake."
BoJack Horseman
"-That's why we won't tell him. -I feel like we should tell him."
BoJack Horseman
"In this case, Nu is the Greek letter representing the variable"
BoJack Horseman
"No one wants to say it out loud because we're afraid we'll jinx it."
BoJack Horseman
"When you do bad things,"
BoJack Horseman
"Are you afraid of being known and knowing others?"
BoJack Horseman
"that I would love to drill down into,"
BoJack Horseman
"Intimate, almost."
BoJack Horseman
"you see Secretariat, I see an old turtle."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, you know, I gotta say I don't feel like I'm in charge."
BoJack Horseman
"If you're gonna throw a tantrum, forget the whole thing."
BoJack Horseman
"[scoffs]"
BoJack Horseman
"-Uh, what would we be talking about? -Yeah, BoJack."
BoJack Horseman
"Mm-hmm."
BoJack Horseman
"And you've been living here ever since?"
BoJack Horseman
"My two favorite people in a room together with me."
BoJack Horseman
"[yawning]"
BoJack Horseman
"Listen, I've been with guys like you before,"
BoJack Horseman
"like when your dad writes a poem about Lena Horne's nipples,"
BoJack Horseman
"[laughing] Yeah. Psychiatrists are idiots."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't want to talk to anybody."
BoJack Horseman
"You can't tame it. All you can do is try to live inside it."
BoJack Horseman
"But you don't need me anymore."
BoJack Horseman
"-I need to go. -[imitating opening door]"
BoJack Horseman
"Sure."
BoJack Horseman
"Weird plum."
BoJack Horseman
"How did you know where I live?"
BoJack Horseman
"And I want to know you. I'm not afraid of that."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Back in the '90s I was in a very famous TV show ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ I guess I'll just try And make you understand ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"Guys, I think we could use another phone jack over here."
BoJack Horseman
"[phone ringing]"
BoJack Horseman
"Intimacy, affection, a deep need to connect to the world at large."
BoJack Horseman
"Don't forget, you have Ellen tomorrow."
BoJack Horseman
"But there's only two men, and the baby's a lady."
BoJack Horseman
"Ugh."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ And I'm trying to hold on to my past ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Or I'm more man than a horse ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"[grunting]"
BoJack Horseman
"What are you saying, robot drivers?"
BoJack Horseman
"Good news is the movie is killing out there. Everyone loves it."
BoJack Horseman
"but I gotta go to this marketing meeting now."
BoJack Horseman
"-Why did you throw a plum on the floor? -Thought it was a smoke bomb."
BoJack Horseman
"-[imitating car braking] -[imitating opening door]"
BoJack Horseman
"-[smoke bomb fizzing] -[both] Whoa!"
BoJack Horseman
"When you were a little girl, did you ever do that thing you said?"
BoJack Horseman
"but control is a myth."
BoJack Horseman
"[gasping]"
BoJack Horseman
"When I looked at the mirror ad, I was seeing me as I see myself"
BoJack Horseman
"Since you've been such a sport, I'm throwing in a tote bag."
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack] Yeah. She was right."
BoJack Horseman
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