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Clips from BoJack Horseman - Stop the Presses (S03E03)

"It's not you, you tell yourself, it's that bad thing you did."
BoJack Horseman
"Do you often keep people at arm's length?"
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, you know, I think that you're definitely hitting on something real"
BoJack Horseman
"Which is so annoying because I totally want to keep talking"
BoJack Horseman
"But marketing meetings, right?"
BoJack Horseman
"I mean, they're so important. Can I call you back tomorrow?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Of course. -Great. Bye."
BoJack Horseman
"-So, how was your marketing meeting? -Weird."
BoJack Horseman
"-Sorry I'm late. -It's fine. We're just getting started."
BoJack Horseman
"I had the worst morning."
BoJack Horseman
"So I drove here, right?"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm sitting at the entrance to the garage when I realize I don't have my key card."
BoJack Horseman
"I gotta drive all the way home to get it."
BoJack Horseman
"When I got there, I couldn't find it anywhere."
BoJack Horseman
"It was in my car the entire time."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"I pulled into a 76."
BoJack Horseman
"when I remembered it was on my desk at home"
BoJack Horseman
"because I used it to contribute to my friend's dumb Kickstarter campaign."
BoJack Horseman
"Have you donated to Virginia's dumb Kickstarter yet?"
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, but I don't like feeling like I have to, Roxy."
BoJack Horseman
"Does the world need a stop-motion short film"
BoJack Horseman
"Think of it like you're doing a nice thing for your friend."
BoJack Horseman
"Mmm... okay."
BoJack Horseman
"I called a cab to take me home to get my credit card."
BoJack Horseman
"-Why did you tell me that whole story? -I don't know."
BoJack Horseman
"Anyway, I had the ad agency whip up some options for the new Secretariat ads."
BoJack Horseman
"If everyone loves it, why do we need a new ad campaign?"
BoJack Horseman
"The Academy doesn't always consider everything."
BoJack Horseman
"So they need constant consideration reminders."
BoJack Horseman
"-That's very considerate. -This one tested the best."
BoJack Horseman
"That's a good one. The rest of these suck."
BoJack Horseman
"Dumb. Dumb. Stupid. Offensive."
BoJack Horseman
"Ugly. Boring. Typical. Stupid."
BoJack Horseman
"Bad. Hideous. Disgusting. Gross. Cliché."
BoJack Horseman
"-I am really good at this. -Huh."
BoJack Horseman
"-I kind of like this one. -How'd that piece of crap get in there?"
BoJack Horseman
"We ruled that one out."
BoJack Horseman
"It's actually really powerful."
BoJack Horseman
"[The Closer] What spoke to you about that particular ad?"
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack] I don't know."
BoJack Horseman
"and I thought there was something beautiful about that."
BoJack Horseman
""Hello, old turtle. Are you Secretariat? No? You're just some old turtle?"
BoJack Horseman
"-What the hell? You've aged terribly." -But you've got the heart of a champion."
BoJack Horseman
"If anyone who looks at this ad is Secretariat,"
BoJack Horseman
"why should you win the Oscar?"
BoJack Horseman
"He's right, BoJack. Why don't you leave this to the experts, okay?"
BoJack Horseman
"[The Closer] So, you also had sex with your publicist?"
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack] Yeah, couple times. We have a very complicated relationship."
BoJack Horseman
"It's complicated."
BoJack Horseman
"If our relationship was a Meryl Streep movie, it would be Doubt."
BoJack Horseman
"Don't wear that sweater I hate."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't know where you live."
BoJack Horseman
"You control every part of my life, I don't know anything about you."
BoJack Horseman
"-You don't want to know me, BoJack. -No, I do."
BoJack Horseman
"-I want to be known and know others. -You don't."
BoJack Horseman
"I know you and I know what you want. This is exactly what you want."
BoJack Horseman
"Better question: Why am I still getting the L.A. Gazette?"
BoJack Horseman
"The project he abandoned to make time for the old girlfriend"
BoJack Horseman
"Could that be why you want to cancel your subscription?"
BoJack Horseman
"No. I want to cancel my subscription because newspapers are dumb."
BoJack Horseman
"Every morning, someone knocks on my door and says,"
BoJack Horseman
""Throw away this garbage for me.""
BoJack Horseman
"[Emily and Todd laughing]"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, God."
BoJack Horseman
"What is the worst recent thing you did to someone who cared about you?"
BoJack Horseman
"-The worst thing? Or the most recent? -Both."
BoJack Horseman
"-You're basically shouting. -Sorry."
BoJack Horseman
"-Do you want me to whisper? Like this? -Yeah, we can be real whispery."
BoJack Horseman
"No, because then I'll hear the "psst, psst, psst.""
BoJack Horseman
"And I'll be up all night wondering what you're talking about."
BoJack Horseman
"What would we be talking about?"
BoJack Horseman
"Forget it. Can't sleep here. I'm gonna go sleep in my boat."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighing]"
BoJack Horseman
"-Character Actress Margo Mart--? -I said, "Freeze.""
BoJack Horseman
"and fugitive from the law Margo Martindale has been living in your boat?"
BoJack Horseman
"Is this one of those situations where everything we discuss is confidential,"
BoJack Horseman
"-How long have you been in here? -Well, after the incident in Yorba Linda."
BoJack Horseman
"-[moaning] -Eh..."
BoJack Horseman
"looks like you've bought yourself another day of freedom."
BoJack Horseman
"I knew I had to lay low. Go off the grid, disappear."
BoJack Horseman
"I know what "lay low" means."
BoJack Horseman
"I did a run at the La Jolla Playhouse in an obscure Tennessee Williams play."
BoJack Horseman
"I have ambition, sir."
BoJack Horseman
"Dreams that don't incorporate the concerns of cynics like you."
BoJack Horseman
"Cynic. Always laughing that terrible laugh."
BoJack Horseman
"-Ramona... -Well, go ahead and laugh."
BoJack Horseman
"Laugh your life away. I can laugh, too."
BoJack Horseman
"She's dead."
BoJack Horseman
"[applause]"
BoJack Horseman
"The San Diego Union-Tribune called me, "A talent to watch.""
BoJack Horseman
"I knew I had to get out of there."
BoJack Horseman
"That's right. I also did an arc on The Good Wife."
BoJack Horseman
"How did you go on a nationally broadcast TV show with no one catching you?"
BoJack Horseman
"I disappeared into the role, BoJack. It's called acting. Try it sometime."
BoJack Horseman
"You already know too much."
BoJack Horseman
"Where are my smoke bombs?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Hey. BoJack's back. -Yup."
BoJack Horseman
"It's like Three Men and a Baby."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighing]"
BoJack Horseman
"[The Closer] With all this turmoil and upheaval,"
BoJack Horseman
"sure would be nice to have something you can depend on."
BoJack Horseman
"Something that arrives every day at your doorstep,"
BoJack Horseman
"with a robust arts section."
BoJack Horseman
"Let me tell you something about the L.A. Gazette."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't think you finished the story about your publicist."
BoJack Horseman
"What happened when you told her you wanted to know her?"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, right. Well..."
BoJack Horseman
"What do you wanna know?"
BoJack Horseman
"I was married once. I have a son I'm not allowed to see."
BoJack Horseman
"-My favorite fruit is honeydew. -Gross, is that true?"
BoJack Horseman
"And... [grunting]"
BoJack Horseman
"-[groaning] Well, that worked. -Okay, we're done. I'll see you tomorrow."
BoJack Horseman
"[The Closer] So, that's how you left things?"
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack] That's how she left things. But then I followed her home."
BoJack Horseman
"[The Closer] You did what?"
BoJack Horseman
"I could see her through the window and I just watched her being... normal."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh! [sighing]"
BoJack Horseman
"[The Closer] There's something very intimate"
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack] But it wasn't good intimate, like when you see your mom cry."
BoJack Horseman
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