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Clips from South Park - Douche and Turd (S08E08)

"A turd sandwich."
South Park
"Okay now, t-tell me the first one again?"
South Park
"Giant douche."
South Park
"And the second?"
South Park
"All right, now we'll see which one really has staying power. Number one?"
South Park
"Turd sandwich."
South Park
"Gee, I don't know what to say, fellas. They're both instant classics."
South Park
"AWWWW!!"
South Park
"Ohhh, we lost?"
South Park
"All right, it's decided. Let's all write in "Giant Douche. ""
South Park
"Attention students, we have tallied your mascot nomination sheets,"
South Park
"and there will now be a school-wide vote between the top two nominations."
South Park
"So here is the first most-requested candidate, a giant douche."
South Park
"Hey, South Park! Have we got school spirit??"
South Park
"We've got spirit, yes we do! Giant douches me and you! Let's gooooo, Douches!"
South Park
"All right turd sandwich!"
South Park
"Students can now cast their choice between the Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich."
South Park
"We'll count up the votes on Tuesday."
South Park
"You won't get more votes than us, asshole!"
South Park
"Be sure to vote for Giant Douche."
South Park
"(Giant Douche! Vote for him!)"
South Park
"Dude, I'm not going to lose to Cartman's stupid turd sandwich."
South Park
"Vote for Turd Sandwich. This is the most important election of our lives."
South Park
"Turd Sandwich brings us hope for change. A vote for Turd Sandwich is a Vote for Tomorrow!"
South Park
"There. Do you really want that asshole to win?"
South Park
"I'm not voting!"
South Park
"What? Y-you gotta vote, dude. Haven't you seen the Rock the Vote stuff or, or Puff Daddy's Vote or Die??"
South Park
"I just think this whole thing is stupid!"
South Park
"Kenny, we have got to make Stan understand the importance of voting, because he'll definitely vote for our guy."
South Park
"(Yeah.)"
South Park
"It was ridiculous. We have to have a new school mascot"
South Park
"and we're supposed to vote between a giant douche and a turd sandwich."
South Park
"...What did you say?"
South Park
"Did you just say that... voting is ridiculous?"
South Park
"No, I think voting is great, but, if I have to choose between a douche and a turd, I just don't see the point."
South Park
"You don't see the point!! Oh you young people just make me sick!"
South Park
"You don't care?! You really want a turd sandwich as your school mascot?! On your football helmets?! A turd?!"
South Park
"Well, hold on, Randy, I think a turd sandwich is a little better than them having a giant douche on their uniforms."
South Park
"You're crazy!! A d-a douche is at least clean!"
South Park
"It's sexist is what it is!"
South Park
"You don't understand the issues, Sharon!"
South Park
"Are you calling me ignorant??"
South Park
"You think the school mascot should be a turd sandwich? Well you're not exactly Einstein!"
South Park
"I hate this family, I hate it!"
South Park
"Puff Daddy?"
South Park
"Your friend Kyle said you don't understand the importance of voting."
South Park
"I..."
South Park
"Apparently you haven't heard of my "Vote or Die" campaign."
South Park
""Vote or Die"?"
South Park
"What the hell does that even mean?!"
South Park
"What you think it means, bitch!"
South Park
"AAAAH!!"
South Park
"Vote or die, mother_, mother_er, vote or die!"
South Park
"Rock the vote or else I'm gonna stick a knife through your eye."
South Park
"Democracy is founded on one simple rule!"
South Park
"Get out there and vote or I will mother__ kill you."
South Park
"Yeh."
South Park
"I like it when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)"
South Park
"Shake them titties when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)"
South Park
"I slam my jimmy through your mouth roof (mouth roof)"
South Park
"I said vote, bitch, or I'll f_____ kill you!"
South Park
"Vote or die, mother_, mother_, vote or die!"
South Park
"You can't run from a.38, go ahead and try!"
South Park
"Let your opinion be heard! You gotta make a choice"
South Park
"'Cause after I slit your throat you won't have a f____ voice"
South Park
"Okay. I'll vote."
South Park
"We were just wondering who you might be voting for, for the school's new mascot."
South Park
"I haven't decided yet."
South Park
"Oh really? Well that's interesting. You certainly should think about it and make the right decision."
South Park
"Butterscotch candy?"
South Park
"Sure."
South Park
"A turd sandwich is not only the first turd to be nominated school mascot, but even the first, sandwich."
South Park
"You see, what Turd Sandwich brings to our school, Clyde, is a complete package."
South Park
"The turd and the coin. And the lettuce, and the olives."
South Park
"Whe-whereas Giant Douche is just, well ju-just a, ju-ju-just a giant douche."
South Park
"So, come voting day, you'll now most likely vote for the turd sandwich, yes?"
South Park
"I'm still not totally sure."
South Park
"Well then, perhaps we could interest you in"
South Park
"another butterscotch candy?"
South Park
"You're doing the right thing, Stan. Don't you feel like you're a part of something now?"
South Park
"I guess..."
South Park
"Look, it may not seem important now, but your vote really does count, and we all have to do our part."
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"Look... wait, what are you doing?"
South Park
"I'm voting."
South Park
"No, no, you... you wrote down Turd Sandwich."
South Park
"Yeah, I know."
South Park
"...Dude, you're supposed to vote for Giant Douche."
South Park
"Wait a minute, you didn't want me to vote you wanted me to vote for your guy!"
South Park
"Hey, fuck off, Kyle."
South Park
"Oh forget it! I'm not gonna be persuaded into voting"
South Park
"and I'm and I'm not gonna be threatened into voting if I don't feel comfortable with it!"
South Park
"I'm not gonna vote and you can all just live with it!"
South Park
"You see? He's out of control. It's nearly torn our whole family apart."
South Park
"Well, my hands are tied. We can no longer have Stan's behavior jeopardizing the other children. He must be removed."
South Park
"Ogh! Are you happy now, Stan? You just got yourself suspended!"
South Park
"Nno, I'm afraid it's worse than that. By county law I'm bound to enforce the harshest punishment possible."
South Park
"Expulsion??"
South Park
"No. Banishment."
South Park
"You can appeal to the city council, but I don't think it'll do any good. Your son must leave South Park, never to return."
South Park
"Oh, Randy!"
South Park
"Our son, banished. Where did we go wrong??"
South Park
"Ya... you're all joking, right?"
South Park
"Stan Marsh, for not following our most sacred of rites, you are hereby banished from South Park for all eternity."
South Park
"Or until you decide that voting is important."
South Park
"Stan, don't you think this has gone far enough? Is it really that big a deal?"
South Park
"Yeah, just vote. For Giant Douche."
South Park
"I'm not voting!"
South Park
"We've gots to kill this non-votin' fool!"
South Park
"No, Justacious, let him go. He won't survive a fortnight in the wilderness."
South Park
"This is breaking your mother's heart, Stan. She couldn't even help tie you to the horse."
South Park
"Dad, isn't this a little extreme?"
South Park
"Jesus. I guess maybe you'll never understand how important voting is."
South Park
"That's... one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do."
South Park
"Look! What is that?"
South Park
"Oh, the poor thing!"
South Park
"Don't worry, we'll free you."
South Park
"Just sit still for a moment."
South Park
"Oh thank God."
South Park
"Poor thing needs water."
South Park
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