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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Ladies' Night (S01E01)

"There was no bet. She is a prostitute."
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"Suck, huh?"
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"...political prisoner Lopsang Dao was beheaded last night."
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"I never said I was gonna leave her."
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"Donna Tubbs? We haven't seen you in so long..."
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"I'm gonna be judged by what my brother does."
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"Listen up. First, let's talk demographics."
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"Oliver's got the cool kid vote locked up."
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"You know who would enjoy this? Donna."
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"If she wasn't with you, where'd she go that night?"
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"I haven't worked up an under-boob sweat like this in a long time."
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"- Oh. Are you okay, sir? - Hell, yeah."
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"Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree"
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"It's called macular degeneration. Look it up. It's a thing."
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"All right. He's deaf, he's blind..."
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"Cleveland Jr., you may start with your opening statement."
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"You saved my life."
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"Me, I'm getting out of the game."
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"And so I found a place Where everyone will know"
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"...cool deaf kid Oliver Wilkerson..."
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"Good girl."
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"And go."
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"Oh, I'll be there."
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"Nope."
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"- Congratulations, Mr. President. - Thanks, Rallo."
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"But we did something here, didn't we?"
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"Thank you for taking me out to dinner, Cleveland. What a nice surprise."
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"Hey, everybody. Who's your friend, Holt?"
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"Huh. Come on, fellows. Let's wipe the floor with our wives..."
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"- Word. - So, what do you say, Tim?"
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"I'll get it."
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"...and my clothes laid out for the next day before you go."
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"Which means I don't have to choose between my friends and my wife."
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"We've made up a lot of ground but we've hit a wall."
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"- Tubing? - Tubing down the river."
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"She's acting more suspicious than my podiatrist."
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"- Junior, get me a beer. - What?"
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"- What the? Donna! - Cleveland?"
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""Oh, I'm a girl. I'm bad at games and math and comedy.""
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"You've gotta be kidding me. He's a Scientologist."
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"And you can quit jabbing me because I'm going to sleep."
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"But I guess I did look up what page it was on and turn to it."
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"Bah! I'll never make it out of the ghetto."
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"...you were going to watch Grey's Anatom..."
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"I wish she would."
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"Vomit."
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"Through good times and bad times It's true love we share"
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"Arianna was pretty judgmental about me being a single mother."
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"Last looks. Any chives?"
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"Well, that was... food. I wish we could stay longer but..."
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"...and this woman Holt pays to have sex with."
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"Take a handful. Take it home with you."
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"Yeah. I'm gonna win."
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"If he's a big loser, you're a big loser."
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"I'm talking about the nerds, the band geeks, the exchange students..."
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"Now I can just do my hand."
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"Fun."
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"...it's just gonna look like we're picking on the deaf kid."
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"Well, then what are we gonna do to him?"
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"They made me feel strong when I was weak."
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"Listen, I'm the one who should be sorry."
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"I'm out here. The bears ain't got no Rascal ramp."
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"Oh, now don't say that..."
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"Chins up, tubby. I'm your new campaign manager."
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"Males against females."
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"- You have good friends. - What? Is there something wrong? Hmm."
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"You're not going to leave her?"
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"- He's captain of the football team? - Otherwise known as..."
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"Ha. Busted. Where were you the other night when you said..."
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"...while desperately trying to find one."
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"You're the one acting like a bitch."
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"I couldn't have done it without you."
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"Okay, Celebrity. Only clue you can't give is their name."
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"- "He had a band..." - Dave Brubeck. Next."
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"Open the drawer over there."
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"Oh, hello, madam."
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"- I don't think so. - Cleveland, remember?"
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"The school newspaper begs to differ."
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"Restocking the water-damaged books at the library was fun?"
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"Are you sure this is a necessary part of the exam?"
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"Jumped on Oprah's couch?"
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"Fine."
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"I can't imagine him running."
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"Aw, Jiminy Christmas, you're right."
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"- Tell me what I gotta do. - All right. First thing..."
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"How about the boys go downstairs to the den..."
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"Uh, her, uh..."
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"Well, I think we've all had about enough of this game."
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"- I answered it last time. - No, I did."
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"You should change that slogan to, "Yes, we canned ham.""
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"- Nerd. ...Jew. Nerd."
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"It's a beautiful morning. And you know what that means?"
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"I have my friends and you should be free to choose yours."
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"- Where are you going? - It's Thursday."
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"Don't ask her anything about our relationship. She's a liar."
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"Good night, madam."
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"I'm off to watch Grey's Anatomy with Arianna and the girls, remember?"
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"Where is she tonight?"
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"It's river time. Who wants to go tubing?"
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"Ooh, somebody's afraid her team's gonna lose."
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"- "Played shortstop for the Minnesota Tw..." - Roy Smalley."
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"- He's also very handsome. - Therefore..."
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"I hope you're not going to miss the big cookout on Saturday."
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"They're my single friends."
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"Girl, you would not believe what she just said to me."
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"- Maybe I'll kill you. - Go ahead."
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"Hmm. Emergency at school, huh?"
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"But not anymore. Prince Charming has arrived."
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"This way I don't gotta be so conscious about my gas."
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"My slogan is, "What can Brown do for you?""
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"But check out those front airbags, huh? I'm gonna get in a wreck tonight, right?"
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"Yeah. You're attractive too."
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"- "He was the shortest man in..." - Michu. Next."
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"He's married to Katie Holmes?"
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"That sure was a fun party. We have good friends."
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"You go have a great time with my friends' wives."
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"Hmm. Nobody needs to see Delta Burke's anus."
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"Rallo, you are having a dream."
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"...what are Oliver's greatest strengths?"
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"Oh. So we turn his strengths into weaknesses."
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