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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Ladies' Night (S01E01)

"I've spent the last several weeks walking these halls and hearing your stories."
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"I am captain of the football team..."
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"...future deaf businessman of America..."
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"I can't run against you."
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"I'm gonna go publicly brush my teeth in the men's room..."
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"Well, well, well."
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"- Who are you calling stupid? - Dummy over here."
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"As a matter of fact, all of y'all are stupid."
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"You're probably good at math but stupid in other areas."
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"Cleveland, you didn't have to do this. I don't need them when I've got you."
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"I can't believe you've never been to Tim's pad before."
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"How did it feel? Ha, ha. I'm just kidding."
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"In her defense, you were driving down real-estate values."
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"- Time's up. - Ha, ha. Your turn, ladies."
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"He was in Risky Business, Top Gun, Jerry Maguire, and Rain Man."
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"All right. Traps and yappers, shut them down."
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"Also, your nominees for student council president are..."
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"Huh. Guess I must be getting popular."
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"Aw, that's mean."
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"- Actually, Cleveland, I have to... - I'll put Rallo to bed."
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"Ugh. Enough about Robert. How's your ex?"
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"Girl, we still fighting over custody of the kids."
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"Now we don't need men at all."
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"I wouldn't be laughing if I was you."
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"Thanks but I don't need a campaign manager."
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"Now we gotta put you on the attack."
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"Well, okay, John Kerry."
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"Wait a minute. That don't add up. That's queer."
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"Did that wash the crap out of your ears? I said, get me a beer."
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"Ah, we're tubing."
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"Thank you, Mister Flippers."
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"And if they found out I got married, they wouldn't want me around."
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"...because I lied to them about being married and because I am married."
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"...hey, Oliver..."
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"I'm not sure because I'm blind."
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"Right back in my hometown With my new family"
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"Oh, this dinner party's gonna be so much fun."
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"- They're all over. What were you eating? - Chives."
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"Whoa. You speak Italian?"
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"My Name is Earl? - What the...?"
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"Before today's assembly, I have a few short announcements."
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"You win some, you lose some."
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"Can you imagine? Him running for president?"
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"So now Donna will be friends with my friends' wives."
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"If I can't have you, I'd rather be dead."
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"I haven't had a pearl onion in years."
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"That, my friend, is The $ 25,000 Pyramid."
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"Cleveland. Cleveland? Are you awake?"
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"Oh. Hello, Mrs. Brown. How was your evening?"
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""There was an emergency at the school so I will be gone all day. XOXO. ""
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"What? What are you looking at?"
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"- Who's Cleveland? - Her husband."
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"Sure did. See you later, peoples. Stay dry."
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"They have this group where they talk trash about men..."
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"Single life makes me sick."
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"Well, now they don't want me back..."
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"...and for the next 40 minutes, I need you all to be mute."
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"...it means your time is almost up."
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"Good afternoon. At least I think it's afternoon."
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"To the special needs kids whose lunchtime antics entertain us all."
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"Oliver, you're up."
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"This night's gonna be full of surprises. Now, you head to the table."
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"Just weave it into my damn head.""
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"If it isn't Miss I'm-Gonna-Raise-My-Kids- In-A-Stable-Two-Parent-Household."
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"You're stupid. You're stupid."
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"And you, like the first two, are also stupid too, stupid."
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"See you at home later. Don't forget a doggie bag."
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"My name is Cleveland Brown And I am proud to be"
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"Oh."
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"No, Cleveland. I'm just tired."
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"...and Cleveland Brown Jr."
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"...and eat Chinese food, just like Sandra Oh."
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"Oh, that sounds dreadful. But have fun."
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"...we thought you'd run off and found yourself a man."
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"- Really? - Yeah. He still wants me to take them."
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"Hey, fellas, check out my new campaign poster."
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"As far as anyone's concerned, you're just Junior's little brother."
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"- So you have a vagina? - No, that's my brother."
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"She didn't come to our TV night."
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"And black? - Derek."
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""Dearest, Cleveland. If you are reading this..."
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"... it means that Roberta told you to read the note on the refrigerator."
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"You've been lying to me, Donna."
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"Well, you have fun with your single friends, I'll have fun with mine."
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"- Do you still love me? - Of course I do."
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"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry I lied to you."
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"Oh, oh, it feels good to pee. Mm."
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"To Ryan Sanderson who told me that he was too afraid to tell everyone..."
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"...three-point-eight GPA..."
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"...best fingers at the school, wink, wink."
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"- So, what now? - That's for you to decide."
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"...and make everyone uncomfortable."
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"And I said, "I don't even wanna know whose hair this is."
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"I'm leaving you high and dry, you stupid female."
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"- What? - I love you."
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"I get to be with my drinking buddies and you get to be with their wives."
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"- Count it. - Hey, Lester. Where's your gross wife?"
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"Here we go. "He was in the TV show Combat!"
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"...with Vic Morrow." - Rick Jason. Next."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"
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"Despite the best efforts of our Amnesty International club..."
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"Hello, Cleveland."
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"Oh, Donna, a group of us girls always get together to watch Grey's Anatomy..."
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"Maybe I'll tell her about us."
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"Hey, y'all. It's Donna."
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"Now give me a drink. It's ladies' night."
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"Opening jars."
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"But that's only 3 percent of the school."
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"She sure came home happy after your TV night."
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"She called and said she was feeling under the weather."
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"- Yvette, what did you...? - Oh, you didn't mean "stab in the hand.""
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"We're gonna fight fire with fire."
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"- Blind man walking. - He went blind?"
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"You really saved our skin, Mr. Flippers."
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"Read my lips."
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"- Yvette, I'm sorry I lied to you... - Here I am with my two favorite ho's."
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"- Cleveland? - My wife, Donna."
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"She always used to ask me how it felt to tear apart the fabric of American society."
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"Don't worry. I'll be all right. Cleveland knows what I'm talking about."
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"We had a bet that Tim would wanna play Celebrity. Ha, ha. You were right."
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