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Clips from 30 Rock - Christmas Attack Zone (S05E05)

"The weary world rejoices"
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"Oh, night devine"
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"Oh, holy night"
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"And hope everybody, everybody have a merry Christmas."
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"And somebody needs to clean this table up. It's disgusting."
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"and then watch "Tootsie"?"
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"I'm sorry, that's what you're doing"
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"And this year, it's gonna be a doozy."
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"My Aunt Linda is bringing her new boyfriend,"
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"who is neither her age nor her race,"
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"and her ex-husband will also be there with his date, alcoholism."
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"Colleen will be up from Florida and she'd love to see you."
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"Because my youthful energy makes her feel young?"
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"No, because she views you as a peer"
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"this KableTown promo is the last thing we have to do"
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"before the holiday break."
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"Liz Lemon, I cannot participate in this promo."
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"- Why? - Because it's not honest."
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"it is my job to tell the truth, hold a mirror to humanity,"
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"I will not spout your lies, Liz Lemon!"
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"And I will not say, "Merry Christmas from KableTown.""
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"Well, they have both had screaming fights with Wyclef Jean."
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"Merry Christmas, Jenna. You can say both lines."
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""Merry Christmas from KableTown and all of us at 'TGS."'"
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"I think we got it."
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"Hey, are you okay?"
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"I don't know what I'm going to do without it!"
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"We don't have to do these promos after all."
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"NBC says they want them from every show but us."
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"Oh, it's just Liz."
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"so she's been carrying around"
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"large objects whenever she's in the building."
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"I was wondering what was up with your show last night."
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"despite a pullback in gold stocks."
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"So, are any foods making you nauseous lately?"
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"Please don't say a half-sleeve of Oreos."
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"Oh, I'm not gonna be there."
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"I'm leaving tonight to spend Christmas with my family."
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"- Really? - It's why I like dating older men."
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"so there's never an argument about the holidays."
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"Why aren't you and Colleen going with her?"
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"Colleen is frail,"
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"I have been watching "The Mentalist" a lot lately"
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"because my TV is on CBS and I lost my remote."
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"I think I've become a body language expert."
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"that Jack wants to kill the person to his right."
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"This is her granddaughter that we are talking..."
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"I cannot have the two of you on the same side of an argument!"
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"it is best to suppress it"
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"The symbol on the Jessup family crest is a knight"
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"You don't know Colleen. We're not married, Avery..."
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"Why should that matter? She did the same thing."
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"I mean, what did Colleen say"
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"when you told her you knew about your real dad?"
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"You never told her about Milton, either!"
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"- That was over a year ago! - You have so many secrets!"
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"For the love of God!"
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"Thanks, K-L-M-N-O-P. I've been waiting for this."
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"That first one was a classic!"
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"we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Athea Chunk."
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"Damn!"
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"That's funky!"
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"Obesity is killing the African American community..."
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"with laughter!"
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"Yeah, well this sequel is never coming out."
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"I bought the rights so this movie won't be released."
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"Why wouldn't you want people to see your movie?"
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"It looks so funny."
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"That's the problem, Ken."
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"It's 67 minutes of me acting like a hilarious fool."
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"If this movie comes out before the Golden Globes,"
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"it'll ruin my new image."
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"Mr. Jordan, I thought you loved acting like a fool."
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"I'm lying!"
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"My favorite thing in the world is making people laugh,"
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"but I can't now!"
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"I have to go on "Charlie Rose", Kenneth!"
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"From now on, the only movies Tracy Jordan makes"
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"are about the Holocaust, Georgia O'Keeffe, or both!"
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"Mother."
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"Avery and I are having a baby."
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"What are my chums"
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"When I tell them that my unmarried son"
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"Just like you did when I won that scholarship"
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"It should have gone to the other boy!"
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"This is the reason I waited seven months to tell you..."
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"Oh, oh, Colleen. Don't talk to me about secrets."
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"I know some things you've done"
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"that you would not want me to bring up right now."
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"Most people thought I was a hero"
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"for killing Lydia's parrot."
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"and think about more comments for tomorrow."
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"I'm having a little Christmas dinner"
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"Well it is sudden, but yes, I'd love to come to your holiday dinner."
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"Oh, Liz."
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"I'm sorry, I thought you were a transvestite."
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"The coverage pre-empted a tampon commercial she was in."
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"And she keeps trying to pretend it's just about some New Year's party,"
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"but I think she misses you."
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"or photographing her with just salamanders covering her nipples."
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"When it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be."
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"Merry Christmas, Jack."
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"Your what? What does that mean?"
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"Milton, your father, is coming here? Please tell me that Colleen..."
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"Has no idea."
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"The father that she hid from me for 50 years,"
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"White! Jack, what are you doing?"
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"Milton's a hippie pacifist,"
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"but I once saw Colleen"
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"Oh, Jack, this is going to be the best Winter's Eve Light Festival ever!"
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"Liz!"
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"And a happy Whatever-You-Believe-ln, too!"
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"daughter of Elysium.""
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"No, it's not me! And that is not what he has to tell you."
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"Colleen is here and Jack is using you to ambush her!"
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"Because when my mother found out about your granddaughter..."
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"Colleen did not see it as a "blessing.""
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"An embarrassment? She has no right to judge you."
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"She needs to read my new book,"
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"Oh, great, Avery's here. And she looks mad."
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