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Clips from 30 Rock - Christmas Attack Zone (S05E05)

"Sure."
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"instead of spending Christmas Eve with your family?"
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"That way I avoid the annual Lemon family blow-up."
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"I swoop in the next day for presents and pie."
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"she can complain with about how no one wears pantyhose any longer."
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"How are we supposed to conceal our spider veins?"
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"and to sell Proactiv."
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"Ever since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe,"
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"We'll just do this without him."
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""Tom Ford and Elton John invite you to New Queer's Eve.""
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"What is this?"
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"Also, replicas of The David urinate vodka!"
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"Oh, God!"
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"Paul and I were going to come up with an amazing couple's costume."
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"But now that he's gone, what's the point?"
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"The party... or Paul?"
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"The party, Liz!"
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"Good news."
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"Oh,"
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"Anyway, I was gonna bring dessert tomorrow."
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"Their parents are usually dead or senile"
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"Oh, you know."
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"You haven't told Colleen about the baby yet!"
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"What?"
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"For instance, I can now tell"
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"refusing to talk about his feelings."
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"Sir, this came for you."
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"Dearly beloved,"
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"No, I don't."
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""Charlie Rose"!"
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"I gotta stay serious."
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"I didn't care much for the gazpacho soup."
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"I mean, where's the fun of sending it back because it isn't hot?"
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"I see."
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"This is a disgrace!"
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"at the Death Shore Retirement Community going to say?"
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"has knocked up a Protestant?"
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"I knew you'd do this. Take a happy moment and ruin it."
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"You kept this from your own mother?"
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"This isn't over!"
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"Hey, Rick, can you cover Section 3 for me?"
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"But it's over between us now."
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"I don't even think about Jenna anymore."
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"I don't think about kissing her,"
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"or laughing with her,"
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"You can't be on the floor without your roller skates, Rick!"
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"I'm not Rick!"
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"I'm glad you could make it, Lemon."
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"Red or white?"
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"Oh, that must be dad."
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"Wait, does Milton know that Colleen is here?"
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"Will he erupt with anger over her years of secrecy?"
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"Yes."
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"You're going to be a grandfather."
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"Oh, what a blessing!"
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"Life is beautiful!"
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""Joy, beautiful spark of the gods,"
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"It's a girl! She'll be intuitive!"
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"because my girlfriend Avery and I are not married."
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""There's No Wrong Way to Make a Family"."
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"I agree with you, Milton. But Colleen disapproves."
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"Jack, I got your message."
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"I didn't mean for my message to make you angry"
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"where we let the child name itself."
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"- Oh, yeah. That's hippie nonsense. - Absolutely not."
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"Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine."
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"I mean, who hasn't made mistakes?"
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"Don't worry. I sent her to the East Wing."
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"Russell Crowe is having an auction"
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"It's gonna be real depressing."
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"In the Darfur region, the dead may be the lucky ones."
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"Next slide."
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"And after all, isn't laughter the best medicine?"
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"Mother, you look lovely."
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"I see you've brought the bag"
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"My father. And your shameful sex secret."
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"He's a good boy. He got me a kidney!"
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"Going on father and son Habitat for Humanity builds"
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"Oh, hi, Colleen."
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"Merry Christmas one and all!"
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"And that's all I'm getting."
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"Hi, Colleen."
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"This thing hasn't even started."
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"Ladies of the battered women's shelter, please be quiet."
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"Comedy is just as important-portant-portant..."
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"Laughter is the best medicine-medicine-medicine..."
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"Damn it! I can't get Kenneth out of my head."
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"Well, he's right! People do need to laugh."
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"And I'm the medicine."
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"Lights!"
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"- So... - Oh, my God."
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"Don't go to her!"
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"It's like something..."
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"like my son..."
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"We are not calling anyone!"
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"We have to call an ambulance."
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"You need to meet our daughter."
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"Listen, I'm not here because I want to get back together."
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"Good. Me neither."
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"No, thank you, I can't stay."
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"that I had an amazing idea for a couple's costume..."
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"Well, so did I. What's yours?"
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"and see what happens?"
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"- You dress as Natalie Portman... - I dress as Natalie Portman..."
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"...wide receiver... ...wide receiver..."
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"...gubernatorial nominee... ...gubernatorial nominee..."
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"Yes, I do believe a heart is required."
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"Okay, I'll go first."
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"We were planning to elope in the Caribbean over New Year's,"
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"I'm going to go get a bus to White Haven now"
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"by holding someone's baby while cooking."
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"Listen, Jackie."
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"I know."
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"And if I got upset earlier,"
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"He's a doctor, for God's sakes!"
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"- I gave you a home for so long. - No, you insult your own intelligence."
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"To this wedding or any other wedding!"
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"You sound like a typical capitalist pig!"
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"In sin and darkness pining"
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"'Til He appeared"
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