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Clips from South Park - Black Friday (S17E17)

"but apparently a war is escalating."
South Park
"Sir, if this were to become a news story,"
South Park
"What's going to be the big item"
South Park
"You know the Xbox is still better, right?"
South Park
"Yeah, but why can't Xbox"
South Park
"that some assholes in California"
South Park
"[all shouting]"
South Park
"All right, listen up."
South Park
"to line up for Black Friday until Thanksgiving night."
South Park
"- Wristbands! - Give us the wristbands!"
South Park
"Back, all of you!"
South Park
"Back away! [knife plunges]"
South Park
"Everybody really likes you."
South Park
"right, my friend?"
South Park
"Whatever your intentions before, protect this town."
South Park
"[groans]"
South Park
"telling us PlayStation sucked."
South Park
"All hail the princess!"
South Park
"[all cheering]"
South Park
"# Gonna have myself a time #"
South Park
"# Humble folks without temptation #"
South Park
"# I'm goin' down to South Park #"
South Park
"# Gonna leave my woes behind #"
South Park
"# [muffled] #"
South Park
"The holiday season is here,"
South Park
"and Black Friday is upon us."
South Park
"As you know, Black Friday is the day"
South Park
"shoppers go berserk for holiday deals."
South Park
"Last year, 26 people died,"
South Park
"This winter, the mall is offering 80% off"
South Park
"to the first 30 people in the store."
South Park
"- It'll be a bloodbath! - Are they crazy?"
South Park
"For you new recruits, perhaps you took this job to see"
South Park
"or perhaps you thought working Black Friday"
South Park
"wouldn't be a big deal."
South Park
"That's enough!"
South Park
"Please tell her there's to be a meeting in the great hall."
South Park
"I have found a way to get Xbox Ones,"
South Park
"Sir Timmy of Blacklake,"
South Park
"at Clyde's house, at Scott Malkinson's house."
South Park
"Which nobody can afford."
South Park
"I have learned of a dark magic at work."
South Park
"get 80% off whatever they want."
South Park
"It is real, Craig. I saw it on the news, butthole."
South Park
"It is real. They do it every year."
South Park
"But everyone in town tries to be the first"
South Park
"On our own, none."
South Park
"We do it every year, part of the family tradition."
South Park
"Her head was stepped on and crushed."
South Park
"But in her memory,"
South Park
"If anyone thinks they're gonna beat me inside that mall"
South Park
"Tom, the South Park Mall says they've beefed up security"
South Park
"in an effort to reduce"
South Park
"people take Black Friday very seriously."
South Park
"Yes. Yes, very nice. Good."
South Park
"[clears throat] Ah, very good!"
South Park
"- The house of Greyhawk? - Larry and Brad Stolsky."
South Park
"Uh, no, screw those guys."
South Park
"They're dorks, and I'm not playing with them."
South Park
"Hey, that's what I'm talking about."
South Park
"Gets a little boring around here, you know?"
South Park
"So you worked here last winter?"
South Park
"they just crammed themselves near the main entrance."
South Park
"I could see their faces smushed up against the glass,"
South Park
"It was 5:00 A.M. when they opened the doors."
South Park
"people tearing each other's faces off"
South Park
"while holiday music played in the background."
South Park
"And now winter comes again."
South Park
"Ah, yes, Paladin Butters. Are you enjoying it?"
South Park
"Well, it's just that they have a lot of girls' boobs"
South Park
"and vaginas and stuff,"
South Park
"but most times they show a man's wiener,"
South Park
"I believe you might be missing the greater point of the show,"
South Park
"Paladin Butters."
South Park
"That's what this is all about, Craig."
South Park
"We're all trying to get Xbox Ones on Black Friday."
South Park
"Uh, me too."
South Park
"Look, guys."
South Park
"We all have to agree on one system."
South Park
"That's right."
South Park
"If some of us are on PS4s but the rest of us are on Xboxes,"
South Park
"This is all about committing to one machine."
South Park
"They're not better, they're just more expensive."
South Park
"We are getting Xbox Ones, guys, and that is final."
South Park
"We're still gonna fight on Black Friday,"
South Park
"Stan, you're on our side, right?"
South Park
"between games, movies, and TV offered by Xbox One."
South Park
"The PS4 controller has a touchpad interface."
South Park
"but you never wanted to listen to me, Kyle."
South Park
"because that's how Xbox people are."
South Park
"If I see you at the mall, Kyle,"
South Park
"I will have to try to beat you inside."
South Park
"in their limited voice control functionality."
South Park
"What the hell are you doing?"
South Park
"I took a temp job at the mall."
South Park
"I just wanted to make some extra holiday cash."
South Park
"I did, Sharon!"
South Park
"I saw they were hiring extra security,"
South Park
"You're doing this to try and get to the front of the line"
South Park
"on Black Friday, aren't you?"
South Park
"Nobody else has thought of it, Sharon."
South Park
"I won't even be out in the crowd."
South Park
"I'll be on the inside when the doors open."
South Park
"While everyone is trying to run over each other,"
South Park
"to be about buying things for other people?"
South Park
"Winter is coming, Sharon,"
South Park
"Buzz, buzz."
South Park
"Captain, we have an incoming FaceTime request"
South Park
"Uh, yeah, big dong and prosper."
South Park
"Um, listen, guys. You're Xbox people, right?"
South Park
"Oh, my God, they're so gay."
South Park
"What if I were to tell you"
South Park
"that we have a way for you to join us"
South Park
"The Federation has agreed to fight with us."
South Park
"You still think you can convince Stan"
South Park
"I don't know."
South Park
"It's not all gay wiener,"
South Park
"but when they do show a straight guy's wiener,"
South Park
"Because a soft wiener isn't threatening,"
South Park
"This isn't helping us, Butters."
South Park
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