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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Meets a Celebrity! (S02E02)

"Shut up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, if you want to talk to your mom,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Too late!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you trying to help me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm the hospital's top scientist."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Pokorny? From kidnapping?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(BANKSTON) ♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ It's a miracle ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you know, a fascinating transition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(SINGERS) ♪ Damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But it doesn't even matter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We have to crank until dawn."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Can Man dumped me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"When Leonardo DiCaprio has to draw that fat white girl..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, and she's definitely fluent in French now,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Did you know they're all the old one now?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(LILLIAN) Hey, Titus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ha."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"would bring me respect."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But it's humiliating."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, where is everybody?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ah! See?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm bored."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, it's just a Learning Annex brochure."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"When I get home, I have to cut the ribbon"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But how will I know when to stop cutting?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And also, yeah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"because he keeps planning bachelor parties"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(MUTTERING) ...kulele music."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My life's perfect."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"is get married and start a family."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with Brandon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mm-hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You should come with me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"maybe you'll get a sticker"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Splotchguard Stain Blaster:"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's well-baby, Baby Debbie,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He has a disease so rare"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that they named it after him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Please welcome Thomas Vletchen and his syndrome."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now one of them wants back in."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(DAVE) Totally understandable."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"bunker kidnappings of 2015."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Forget blood cancer, Judy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"will not receive the other half of their $20 bill."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Very well."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What does it want?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, not this time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and I'm real confused."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Cyndee, in your pre-interview,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh-oh! Guys, guys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No. No!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Let Tonku swallow you. - No! No!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"treat him with respect."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"the person."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, because I've only heard the kind of sir"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that comes before"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Something about me being a person."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- In jail. - No, in Hong Kong for work."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I just need you to buy the tickets and take me and my friend in later."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I have my dad's credit card."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and it was extraordinary."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But this is simply garbage."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm smart,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like that Jennifer Aniston water."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"the word moist,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ugh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(GASPS) Pizza Rat!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I knew the neighborhood would provide."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, no, no, no, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know, when my assistant told me the second Mole Woman wanted to see me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"at first, I thought it must be another delightful prank"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Have a seat, please, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Here, let me guess."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The only person who's ever killed on this show"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"is that you feel responsible for your friend?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ah, the cover, is a, uh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now, look."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"tomorrow's in 20 minutes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- What do you think? - Tomorrow is today?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that magazine covers tell us ties should look like."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You look like a young Morgan Freeman, which many say never existed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm so nervous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"puts mouths on butts."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, and never buy them a cell phone case."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"had to take me to school,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"respected, listened to,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"which is why I started a charity that goes around the country"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(APPLAUSE)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus and I have a Sears."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that your future is so dim"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but this Mole Woman... or man..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"said, and I quote,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How could it fit?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I didn't say that, and I certainly don't want"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You better stay away from my sides."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You think me and Brandon having a baby is crazy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ladies, ladies... Please, please."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You shouldn't have a baby,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"because you're a baby!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"When you hear the snap,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"my winter coat, my stereo,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"this instant!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I put my arm around her and looked at her eyeballs,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You think of a new way to stab me in the back..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Can Man made you cry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't let other people tell me how I feel."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Not even when you were alone?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But you're a creep,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know that was very difficult for you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"which is why I want this Thursday's show,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(GASPS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm not gonna be part of this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Good, 'cause this wedding's gonna be real emotional."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, I'm crying on the inside right now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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