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Clips from Life of Brian (1979)

"- Aah! - Now, Jewish wapscallion"
Life of Brian (1979)
"I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman."
Life of Brian (1979)
"So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"He was a centurion in the Jerusalem garrison, sir."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Well, no, sir."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Well, you sound very sure. Have you checked?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Well, no, sir. I think it's a joke, sir."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Like, uh, Sillius Soddus or Biggus Dickus, sir."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Well, it's a joke name, sir."
Life of Brian (1979)
"I have a very great friend in Rome called Biggus Dickus."
Life of Brian (1979)
"You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"with wotten behavior like that."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Can I go now, sir? Aaah!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Wight! Take him away!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Oh, sir, he - I want him fighting wild, wabid animals within a week."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Yes, sir. Come on, you."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Anyone else feel like a little giggle..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"when I mention my fwiend,"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Biggus..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Dickus?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Biggus... Dickus?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"You know what she's called?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"She's called lncontinentia."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Shut up! What is all this?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"I've had enough of this wowdy, webel behavior!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Hmm? Hmm."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Oh, you lucky bastard."
Life of Brian (1979)
"And the whore of Babylon..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"And throughout the lands there'll be a great rubbing of parts."
Life of Brian (1979)
"The demon shall bear a ninebladed sword."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Ninebladed not two or five or seven, but nine"
Life of Brian (1979)
"which he will wield on all wretched sinners, just like you, sir, there."
Life of Brian (1979)
"There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray,"
Life of Brian (1979)
"um, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are."
Life of Brian (1979)
"And nobody will really know where lieth..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"those little things..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment."
Life of Brian (1979)
"At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer,"
Life of Brian (1979)
"the things possessed by their fathers..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"that their fathers put there only just the night before about 8:00."
Life of Brian (1979)
"in that time"
Life of Brian (1979)
"How much, quick? It's for the wife."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Oh, uh, 20 shekels. - Right."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- What? - There you are."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- We're supposed to haggle. - No, no, no. I've got to get"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- What do you mean, no? - I haven't got time."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Well, give it back, then. - No, no. I just paid you."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Burt, this bloke won't haggle. - Won't haggle?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- I want 20 for that. - I just gave you 20."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Are you telling me that's not worth 20 shekels? - No."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Feel the quality. That's none of your goat. - I'll give you 19, then."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- No, no, no. Do it properly. - What?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Haggle properly. This isn't worth 19. - You just said it was worth 20."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Oh, dear, oh, dear. Come on, haggle."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Ten? Are you trying to insult me?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Me with a poor, dying grandmother? Ten?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- All right, I'll give you 11. - Now you're gettin' it."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Did I hear you right? Eleven? This cost me 12. You want to ruin me?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Eighteen. - No, no. You go to 14 now."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- All right, I'll give you 14. - Fourteen? Are you joking?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Offer me 14. - I'll give you 14."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- He's offering me 14 for this! - Fifteen!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Seventeen. My last word. I won't take a penny less, or strike me dead."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Sixteen. - Done."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Nice to do business with you."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- I'll throw you in this as well. - I don't want it, but thanks."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Burt. - All right, all right."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Now, where's the 16 you owe me? - I just gave you 20."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Right. That's four I owe you, then. - That's right. That's fine."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- I've got it here somewhere. - That's four for the gourd."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Look at it! It's worth ten if it's worth a shekel."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- You gave it to me for nothing. - Yes, but it's worth ten."
Life of Brian (1979)
"All right, all right."
Life of Brian (1979)
"No, no, no, no. It's not worth ten."
Life of Brian (1979)
"You're supposed to argue. Ten for that? You must be mad."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Oh, well. One born every minute."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Daniel. - Daniel."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Job. - Job."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Joshua. - Joshua."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- And Brian. - And Brian."
Life of Brian (1979)
"I now propose that all seven of these exbrothers..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"be now entered in the minutes as probationary martyrs to the cause."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- I second that, Reg. - Thank you, Loretta. On the nod."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Siblings, let us not be down on it."
Life of Brian (1979)
"One total catastrophe like this..."
Life of Brian (1979)
"is just the beginning!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Their glorious deaths shall unite us all in"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Matthias?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Reg? - Go away."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Reg, it's me, Brian."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Get off! Get off out of it!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Stan! - Piss off."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Yeah, piss off. - Bugger off."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Yea, verily at that time it is written in the book of Obadiah,"
Life of Brian (1979)
"My eyes are dim. I cannot see."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Are you Matthias? - Yes."
Life of Brian (1979)
"We have reason to believe you may be hiding one Brian of Nazareth,"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Me? No. I'm just a poor old man."
Life of Brian (1979)
"I have no time for lawbreakers."
Life of Brian (1979)
"My legs are grey. My ears are nulled."
Life of Brian (1979)
"My eyes are old and bent."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- No. - Crucifixion."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Oh."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Nasty, eh? - Could be worse."
Life of Brian (1979)
"What do you mean, Could be worse?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Well, you could be stabbed."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours."
Life of Brian (1979)
"It's a slow, horrible death."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Well, at least it gets you out in the open air."
Life of Brian (1979)
"No, sir. Couldn't find anything, sir."
Life of Brian (1979)
"- Big Nose. - Watch it!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Oh, it's all right. He's sorry."
Life of Brian (1979)
"He's sorry he led the Fifth Legion straight to our headquarters."
Life of Brian (1979)
"Well, that's all right, then, Brian. Sit down."
Life of Brian (1979)
"You stupid, birdbrained, flatheaded"
Life of Brian (1979)
"- My legs are old and bent."
Life of Brian (1979)
"My ears are grizzled. Yes?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"There's one place we didn't look. Guards!"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Have you ever seen anyone crucified?"
Life of Brian (1979)
"Crucifixion's a doddle."
Life of Brian (1979)
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