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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"KRIEGER: So there's your breast-cancer tumor, and the portacath..."
Archer (2009)
"And you're taking tetraphenol orally, right?"
Archer (2009)
"[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]"
Archer (2009)
"I don't know, Krieger, maybe it's because I'm a badass..."
Archer (2009)
"I got a guy."
Archer (2009)
"Me too, Krieger. He's called a pharmacist."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, and is he the same pharmacist who gave you all these chemo drugs?"
Archer (2009)
"He damn sure didn't give it to me."
Archer (2009)
"Those pills are like 80 bucks each..."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: But what does that mean, is that good?"
Archer (2009)
"No. It means this $80 pill is 100 percent sucrose."
Archer (2009)
"I know what sucrose is, idiot. But there's medicine in there too, right?"
Archer (2009)
"- Uh, no, not a trace. - What...?"
Archer (2009)
"Wait, so I've been treating my breast cancer with sugar pills?"
Archer (2009)
"What the hell is it?"
Archer (2009)
"- All this time, it's been... - Growing, I guess."
Archer (2009)
"Does someone you love have breast cancer?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah. Me."
Archer (2009)
"What are you...? Sterling, no, you're not well."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage. - Still, though."
Archer (2009)
"- Unh, unh. Oh, you son of a whore. - Save it for the fast money round, Paddy."
Archer (2009)
"Let me see cock-flavored spit."
Archer (2009)
"I'm just assuming you don't know what goes on here."
Archer (2009)
"Delaney sells it to..."
Archer (2009)
"...I swear I don't know who, but they switch it with fake stuff here."
Archer (2009)
"- Were you? - They don't know what goes on here."
Archer (2009)
"- That "beaner" is a pejorative term for a Mexican."
Archer (2009)
"- Why? - Because I'm way behind on my treatment."
Archer (2009)
"[VOMITING]"
Archer (2009)
"Unh. Not a smart mid-rampage move."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Okay, so day two of the chemo-fueled rampage..."
Archer (2009)
"As you can see, I've got wine coolers on my feet..."
Archer (2009)
"Fair amount of gastric distress, and, uh, scarf."
Archer (2009)
"Suck it up. I tracked Delaney to an all-night poker game."
Archer (2009)
"Great, one second?"
Archer (2009)
"- Ew. - Unh."
Archer (2009)
"Is our adult relationship perfect? No."
Archer (2009)
"Wow, really? My momma told me how much she loved me all the time."
Archer (2009)
"Exactly. Look how you turned out."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: What you doing, Krieger?"
Archer (2009)
"How come you know Portuguese?"
Archer (2009)
"It's Providence."
Archer (2009)
"- I actually have no idea. - No shit."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, I don't know why I do that."
Archer (2009)
"- Obviously. - Oh."
Archer (2009)
"Wh...? Ugh."
Archer (2009)
"Well, you're sweet enough to come see a sick old lady in the hospital."
Archer (2009)
"[BOTH LAUGH]"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, unwad your panties."
Archer (2009)
"We're here."
Archer (2009)
"Rampage!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, we'll just see what Ms. Archer has to say about this Nazi beeswax."
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: Fine."
Archer (2009)
"Or, you know, not fine."
Archer (2009)
"Now shut up and kick in the door for me."
Archer (2009)
"Shite, Joey, you call this a hand? More like a foot."
Archer (2009)
"Stand your ass up."
Archer (2009)
"- You idiot asshole. - Sorry."
Archer (2009)
"First of all, you don't have to yell, Lana. I don't have ear cancer."
Archer (2009)
"What are you doing back there?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, for starters, you can apologize to my friend..."
Archer (2009)
"- What? - She's not gay, she just has big hands."
Archer (2009)
"I'm gonna assume you know the difference..."
Archer (2009)
"...between an M26 and a Mark 2 fragmentation grenade."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, son. Now, just wait a second. - Another key difference is the pin."
Archer (2009)
"[WHIMPERING]"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: I got it, let's go."
Archer (2009)
"Yes, Lana, I'm on a rampage."
Archer (2009)
"[HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING]"
Archer (2009)
"Good bedside manner, knows all the parts of the ear."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, you must."
Archer (2009)
"- Regis is the best. - No, Ruth, you're the best."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Heh. Oh, man, what have I been doing?"
Archer (2009)
"Still, though. Ew."
Archer (2009)
"I got this. Franny Delaney."
Archer (2009)
"Oranges, exactly."
Archer (2009)
"Do you like powdered orange breakfast drink?"
Archer (2009)
"None of those would have been possible..."
Archer (2009)
"...without the Nazi scientists we brought back after World War II."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, Cyril."
Archer (2009)
"And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master..."
Archer (2009)
"And if it's one thing I've learned in all my years as a spy master..."
Archer (2009)
"And possible genetic clones of Adolf Hitler closer."
Archer (2009)
"[DOGS BARKING AND MAN SCREAMS]"
Archer (2009)
"I'm sorry, was that racist? I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at Archer."
Archer (2009)
"[GASPS]"
Archer (2009)
"Damn it, that is classic him."
Archer (2009)
"- Ooh, do you guys have any snacks? ARCHER: Here."
Archer (2009)
"You can't do it, boy. I know you."
Archer (2009)
"- You don't know me. - Ha-ha-ha."
Archer (2009)
"But let me tell you, boyo..."
Archer (2009)
"...that mother of yours found a whole new way to use them."
Archer (2009)
"To use the beads?"
Archer (2009)
"Like an SSP racer."
Archer (2009)
"[VOMITS]"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah. Why?"
Archer (2009)
"Booyakasha, booyakasha."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, just because he was your boyfriend..."
Archer (2009)
"What boyfriend?"
Archer (2009)
"Zing! Ahem."
Archer (2009)
"Wildly inappropriate."
Archer (2009)
"[LANA GROANS]"
Archer (2009)
"It's a working title. Idiots."
Archer (2009)
"Seriously, what is cancer?"
Archer (2009)
"Wait. I got it."
Archer (2009)
"...through which you take cyclophosphamate intravenously."
Archer (2009)
"[SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]"
Archer (2009)
"...but chemotherapy is a breeze."
Archer (2009)
"Two weeks of chemo with no hair loss, and you're not experiencing any nausea?"
Archer (2009)
"Which, I gotta tell you, huge fan."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, and I advocate its use."
Archer (2009)
"As a potential role model, I advocate it."
Archer (2009)
"...or for cannabidiol's clinically-proven ability to inhibit cancer cell growth?"
Archer (2009)
"You would not believe how much cancer medicine costs."
Archer (2009)
"...and the IV stuff is literally 2 grand a bag..."
Archer (2009)
"Because I want to run a few tests."
Archer (2009)
"And so, if the reagent turns blue..."
Archer (2009)
"You didn't think it was weird your chemo drugs were chewable?"
Archer (2009)
"- Well, what about the intravenous drug? - Right, yes, the cyclophosphamate."
Archer (2009)
"- Hm. - "Mm" what, Krieger?"
Archer (2009)
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