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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"- What? - Because, boy, did I pull a boner..."
Archer (2009)
"...said the urologist. Ba-dum-bum."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, are you sure? - Of course I'm sure, I'm a doctor."
Archer (2009)
"I've been giving that a lot of thought. I'm sure... Mother, feel free to chime in here."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, no... - You can use one of my old ones."
Archer (2009)
"- You're Chet Manley now. - I don't wanna be Chet Manley."
Archer (2009)
"Speaking of being a new person, or not, did you wanna tell me something?"
Archer (2009)
"- Did I? - Like four minutes ago?"
Archer (2009)
"I got it!"
Archer (2009)
"- Hello? WOMAN: May I speak to Chet?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God. Heh, heh. Uh..."
Archer (2009)
"- Who? - The nurse?"
Archer (2009)
"- Uh... - Peggy?"
Archer (2009)
"[PHONE BEEPS]"
Archer (2009)
"- Talk to me. SPELTS: Mr. Archer? Dr. Spelts..."
Archer (2009)
"I know! What, doctor?"
Archer (2009)
"- The first time you said I was cured! - Wait."
Archer (2009)
"I meant the first phone call."
Archer (2009)
"When I said the cancer had spread to your lymph nodes."
Archer (2009)
"So, yeah, we're gonna wanna start a round of chemo ASAP..."
Archer (2009)
"...but in the meantime, is your mother there?"
Archer (2009)
"...so over the weekend, I had to punch all these cards by hand, and then..."
Archer (2009)
"Carefully put them in order."
Archer (2009)
"...but I had to finish this so I could get it in the mail today."
Archer (2009)
"[PAM GASPS]"
Archer (2009)
"[SOBBING]"
Archer (2009)
"My tone? Watch your tone. Don't speak to me like I'm some..."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Pam. - Do you not know what "disease" means?"
Archer (2009)
"- What? - Is there one?"
Archer (2009)
"Good God. You'd think he was half fainting goat."
Archer (2009)
"There are several other risk factors for male breast cancer."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I thought you were being sarcastic."
Archer (2009)
"[MUTTERING IN RUSSIAN]"
Archer (2009)
"So wait. Wait, wait, wait, there's good cholesterol?"
Archer (2009)
"- So guess we can skip all this, huh? - Well, we're here, machine's on..."
Archer (2009)
"CHERYL: What? LANA: Archer, no."
Archer (2009)
"[TRINETTE SIGHS]"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Oh, that is just classic him."
Archer (2009)
"I know. I'm not normally a tattoo guy, but..."
Archer (2009)
"That's what the tattoo guy said. Had to slip him an extra 100 bucks."
Archer (2009)
"[DOOR SLAMS]"
Archer (2009)
"- Obviously. - And we've always dreamed..."
Archer (2009)
"I got some mid-range Scotch for you, you nut."
Archer (2009)
"L..."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Mother, come on, they said I could eat and drink till midnight."
Archer (2009)
"- Nope. Nope. - Lana. Did I mention I have cancer?"
Archer (2009)
"[ARCHER SNORING]"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, and also some very bad news."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: What are you, hourly? - Thanks to me..."
Archer (2009)
"You were four hours late."
Archer (2009)
"[MALORY SIGHS]"
Archer (2009)
"I did your cancer surgery like two hours ago?"
Archer (2009)
"- What? - I should've waited..."
Archer (2009)
"...there's chemotherapy, there's... - Oh!"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, listen, doctor, I'm kind of making peace with my loved ones..."
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah. So about my Vegas problem... - Yes. The Vegas problem."
Archer (2009)
"- I don't wanna use one... - Yes."
Archer (2009)
"[PHONE RINGING]"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, hang on, he's right..."
Archer (2009)
"Redhead?"
Archer (2009)
"- At the hospital, doctor! You said... - Oh, no."
Archer (2009)
"[SOBBING]"
Archer (2009)
"[DOOR OPENS]"
Archer (2009)
"- Well, if it isn't Chet Manley. - Yeah. And is... I wanna say Peggy?"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: What? - Yeah. So listen, uh..."
Archer (2009)
"...spend some time with the wee baby Seamus."
Archer (2009)
"- Costs more than that, I bet. - You..."
Archer (2009)
"- Whatever. - Well, you do the best you can."
Archer (2009)
"- I am, actually. - Me too. Sterling, l..."
Archer (2009)
"What? What the shit, Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"- Dies. LANA: What?"
Archer (2009)
"...and Sterling is going to be completely cured."
Archer (2009)
"Is that why you didn't even bother to see me off to surgery?"
Archer (2009)
"And, Lana. Lana, I want you to know that what I said last..."
Archer (2009)
"For you, sir."
Archer (2009)
"- Pam. - Your mom's got breast cancer."
Archer (2009)
"[BOTH GASP]"
Archer (2009)
"Who thought I had breast cancer. Shut up."
Archer (2009)
"[GROANS]"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Where's Mother?"
Archer (2009)
"- Or something maybe else... - That's actually the only thing..."
Archer (2009)
"Everybody, say hello to my friend Chet Manley."
Archer (2009)
"Now I'm confused..."
Archer (2009)
"But I've never been. Here."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, Sterling, I knew you could do it."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling. Good morning, dear."
Archer (2009)
"Toilet's clogged."
Archer (2009)
"- It's for you, sir. - Duh."
Archer (2009)
"Always prancing around in those clingy little whatever they are..."
Archer (2009)
"- She what? CHERYL: Pam."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, hey, you wanna grab a drink later?"
Archer (2009)
"...l'm going to spend some quality time with those who are dear to me."
Archer (2009)
"So, uh, listen, about last night..."
Archer (2009)
"- Ass. - That's the good news."
Archer (2009)
"Saturday, I watched a building burn down."
Archer (2009)
"[GROANS]"
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, seriously don't open it? GILLETTE [OVER RADIO]: Yes."
Archer (2009)
"- Here, Brett, take a ribbon, buddy. - What is this?"
Archer (2009)
"Both mentally and spiritually, Brett."
Archer (2009)
"The stuff they use to sterilize hospitals? Pretty sure it's okay."
Archer (2009)
"What if I'm not? What if I die, and then have to live with the fact..."
Archer (2009)
"- Archer... - I might die tomorrow..."
Archer (2009)
"Find out what that is and start cooking it."
Archer (2009)
"- Prepaid, huh? - Yes, sir."
Archer (2009)
"[SIGHS]"
Archer (2009)
"What is "wow"? What is that?"
Archer (2009)
"- Woodhouse. ...that you can do."
Archer (2009)
"- Real numbnuts. - What? We're all thinking it."
Archer (2009)
"This surgery is going to be a complete success..."
Archer (2009)
"It's just like when the farm flooded in real life."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, I mean, it's not as bad as stage III or IV..."
Archer (2009)
"So here, show some support."
Archer (2009)
"[ALL CHATTERING]"
Archer (2009)
"...of someday going to Las Vegas together."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, **** your dolphin, Pam. - Archer, she's down."
Archer (2009)
"...the surgery was totally successful. MALORY: God, thank you."
Archer (2009)
"You're gonna be fine."
Archer (2009)
"[ALL CHEERING]"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, this is Chet."
Archer (2009)
"...when I was less than nice to you. - Heh."
Archer (2009)
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