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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"[THUNDER RUMBLING]"
Archer (2009)
"CHERYL: Ugh, a rainy day and a Monday."
Archer (2009)
"If I cared about what you do on the weekend..."
Archer (2009)
"It took all weekend, but I finally got that payroll glitch sorted out."
Archer (2009)
"- I said by 5 on Friday. - Yeah, sorry, the computer was down..."
Archer (2009)
"Pam, those quarterly reports better be on my desk when I walk in there."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, hey, now, come on, honey, it's..."
Archer (2009)
"- Idiots. Surrounded by nothing but... - What the hell is your problem?"
Archer (2009)
"No. I want you to get out."
Archer (2009)
"...and they found something."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, my God. - Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"You have to swear you won't breathe a word of this to anyone."
Archer (2009)
"Totally, yes."
Archer (2009)
"- I'm not, I swear. This is about... - Breast cancer? Oh, you poor thing."
Archer (2009)
"And would you get off? Breath?"
Archer (2009)
"I'll let you know if I need a hybrid pigboy."
Archer (2009)
"A what? That... What are you...? I don't have one of those."
Archer (2009)
"[PIG SQUEALING AND KRIEGER GRUNTING]"
Archer (2009)
"That'll do."
Archer (2009)
"At a spy agency?"
Archer (2009)
"- Pam. - No, you don't. Pam."
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Nice work, Pam. - Damn her piggy little eyes."
Archer (2009)
"Aww, Pigley."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, can you not? Right now?"
Archer (2009)
"Doctor, I have Ms. Archer's results."
Archer (2009)
"- Rita. And you said you'd call me. - Really? To both statements?"
Archer (2009)
"The first test was a false-positive. You're totally fine."
Archer (2009)
"- Peggy? - I can't believe it, it's such a relief."
Archer (2009)
"- Wow. - "Wow" what?"
Archer (2009)
"Wanna grab a drink later?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Yup. Stage II breast cancer."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, how about we check each other?"
Archer (2009)
"Lumpectomy. I go in for surgery next week and they'll try to cut it all out."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Oh! CYRIL: Oh, God."
Archer (2009)
"If they can't get it or if it spreads to my lymph nodes, they'll do chemo..."
Archer (2009)
"...but I'm trying to stay positive because I can beat this."
Archer (2009)
"Not that, dick. Your whole outlook. All this positivity and whatever."
Archer (2009)
"Well, I have to be positive, Lana. I gotta stay strong."
Archer (2009)
"- Heh, heh. Uh... BRETT: Huh?"
Archer (2009)
"- Excuse me. BRETT: Oh!"
Archer (2009)
"- He certainly doesn't have cancer in his fist. - He is beating his ass."
Archer (2009)
"Now, if you will all excuse me again..."
Archer (2009)
"Brett."
Archer (2009)
"- He's not even your real kid. - So?"
Archer (2009)
"Come on, Trinette, Seamus may not be my son..."
Archer (2009)
"- Where are you taking him? - I don't know."
Archer (2009)
"- I mean, my God, I was the one who... - Was getting all the attention?"
Archer (2009)
"TRINETTE: What the shit?"
Archer (2009)
"Not yours, shitbrain. His."
Archer (2009)
"It's like we've got each other's backs. Heh-heh-heh."
Archer (2009)
"How about I slip somebody 100 bucks to throw acid in your face?"
Archer (2009)
"I'm riddled with cancer, Woodhouse, and you wanna take a vacation?"
Archer (2009)
"- Who's Dicky? - My brother."
Archer (2009)
"Did I mention I have cancer?"
Archer (2009)
"God, what a trip. Barely got back in time for surgery. You should've been there."
Archer (2009)
"...so I'm gonna work on that, okay?"
Archer (2009)
"And so I wanted to say I'm sorry, Pam..."
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah. - Here, take two."
Archer (2009)
"Ow. But I've never even been to Las Vegas."
Archer (2009)
"Are you scared?"
Archer (2009)
"Me too, Mother."
Archer (2009)
"There's so much I still wanna do."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, now, you're gonna be fine."
Archer (2009)
"Look at me. You are going to beat cancer."
Archer (2009)
"But what if I don't?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Um... - Can you take him home?"
Archer (2009)
"- Can you not? - No."
Archer (2009)
"- Don't worry about it, just... - Lana, I'm in love with you."
Archer (2009)
"...so I really don't think I should be alone tonight."
Archer (2009)
"[BURPS]"
Archer (2009)
"Why are you in my...? Oh, shit."
Archer (2009)
"- We can talk after your surgery. - Right? Mm-hm."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling? Was that him?"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, where were you? - The cafeteria."
Archer (2009)
"Bear claws. Rowr."
Archer (2009)
"- I've been here since 6. - Rowr."
Archer (2009)
"- He was four hours late to his own surgery. - Yeah. Kind of a late night."
Archer (2009)
"[PAM LAUGHING]"
Archer (2009)
"- Hooray. - Oh, shut up."
Archer (2009)
"Still too soon."
Archer (2009)
"I have to take a rain check on that drink. I'm on call this weekend."
Archer (2009)
"And now Mr. Archer is..."
Archer (2009)
"- We grabbed a bear claw. - Rowr."
Archer (2009)
"Oh. Let's hope not."
Archer (2009)
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to the Brazilian rosewood."
Archer (2009)
"[PHONE RINGING]"
Archer (2009)
"- Super scared. - Not really."
Archer (2009)
"But the thing is... Woodhouse, answer the damn phone."
Archer (2009)
"You may want to hold off on that."
Archer (2009)
"...until your post-op results came in. - What?"
Archer (2009)
"So, what are you saying?"
Archer (2009)
"- Holy shitsnacks. - What's cancer?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, so I guess this party was a little premature, huh?"
Archer (2009)
"- This isn't, you know, um, good, but... - Excuse me."
Archer (2009)
"- That was the best you could do? - Shut up."
Archer (2009)
"What did I expect? Jesus, look at how I've treated all of you."
Archer (2009)
"Carol and Pam and Cyril."
Archer (2009)
"Woodhouse, seriously, a little help."
Archer (2009)
"Archer residence."
Archer (2009)
"Was that so hard?"
Archer (2009)
"Anyhoo, turns out I mixed up your chart with another patient's."
Archer (2009)
"[ALL CHEERING]"
Archer (2009)
"Cyril, I don't wanna see you with an empty glass."
Archer (2009)
"But I'm pretty sure ISIS can get you a whole new identity, Cyril."
Archer (2009)
"Lana, so here's the thing..."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, who is this? - Rita."
Archer (2009)
"Hang on, Peggy, I got another call."
Archer (2009)
"Well, you are just gonna kill me..."
Archer (2009)
"...but turns out I was right the first time."
Archer (2009)
"Are you here?"
Archer (2009)
"Eh."
Archer (2009)
"Do anything fun this weekend?"
Archer (2009)
"Because I sure did. Friday night was Cornhole League, then on Saturday..."
Archer (2009)
"...l'd stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes."
Archer (2009)
"[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]"
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Morning, Ms. Archer."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Careful, it's pretty delicate. - Wow, and this is all marzipan?"
Archer (2009)
"Except for the barn. That's just graham crackers and icing."
Archer (2009)
"- Your dad is gonna love it. - I hope so."
Archer (2009)
"Are you walking in there right now?"
Archer (2009)
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