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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"- What did I tell you on Friday? - I was gonna come in this weekend..."
Archer (2009)
"Wrong answer."
Archer (2009)
"What the shit?"
Archer (2009)
"Only tiny and sweet."
Archer (2009)
"Finding your replacement if you don't watch your tone."
Archer (2009)
"...mini-sweater dresses and your double-D push-up bras..."
Archer (2009)
"...so that all anyone can see for miles around are your gigantic breasts."
Archer (2009)
"So you wanna tell me what's going on?"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: So..."
Archer (2009)
"Is that why you're being such a bitch?"
Archer (2009)
"...he'd be devastated, so this information cannot leave this..."
Archer (2009)
"- Pam! PAM: What?"
Archer (2009)
"- What is wrong with you? - I can't help it, it's like a disease."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, sorry, I forgot you might have..."
Archer (2009)
"Malory, if there's anything we can do, you just say the word."
Archer (2009)
"My entire laboratory is at your disposal."
Archer (2009)
"That'll do, Pigley."
Archer (2009)
"- Anymore. What are we talking about? - Nothing."
Archer (2009)
"Good morning. What's the big non-me-telling secret?"
Archer (2009)
"- There's no secret. We were just... - Mother, pardon me, sorry, one second."
Archer (2009)
"- Pam. Pam. Pam. - Pam. Pam."
Archer (2009)
"- Pam. - I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm good."
Archer (2009)
"Ahh. I'm good."
Archer (2009)
"[BREATHING DEEPLY]"
Archer (2009)
"Mother? Is this...? Do you...?"
Archer (2009)
"Aww, Goatley."
Archer (2009)
"Well, actually, men can develop breast cancer..."
Archer (2009)
"There's a good chance your mother's first mammogram was a false-positive."
Archer (2009)
"I'll know for sure after I get the results of her diagnostic exam..."
Archer (2009)
"...but I've got a good feeling about her. - And the feeling is mutual, doctor."
Archer (2009)
"Such as... Any history of alcoholism?"
Archer (2009)
"- You know, I mean, I drink socially, but... MALORY: Ha!"
Archer (2009)
"I didn't have breakfast."
Archer (2009)
"Any unusual exposure to radiation?"
Archer (2009)
"Uh..."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Looking for this?"
Archer (2009)
"- Mm, no. - Well, then a little dose won't hurt."
Archer (2009)
"If it's not too much trouble I'd like to know if I have cancer."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, thank God. - Yeah, good."
Archer (2009)
"I don't have breast cancer."
Archer (2009)
"- So if you could...? - Oh, sorry."
Archer (2009)
"- Yup. That's breast cancer. - What?"
Archer (2009)
"...but it's not, you know, obviously, not as good as no cancer."
Archer (2009)
"- A pink ribbon. I have breast cancer. - Ha, ha!"
Archer (2009)
"Sure it's not lady vagina cancer?"
Archer (2009)
"[BRETT SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, hey, it's got a safety pin."
Archer (2009)
"TRINETTE: What? - Breast cancer. And, yes, seriously."
Archer (2009)
"So is me paying you child support, but you keep cashing the checks."
Archer (2009)
"...but he's probably as close as I'm gonna get."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, he does actually have cancer. - Well, he didn't get it from me."
Archer (2009)
"It's contagious?"
Archer (2009)
"[BABBLES]"
Archer (2009)
"To buy acid, Trinette."
Archer (2009)
"Come on, Seamus."
Archer (2009)
"- I hope your stupid cancer kills you. - Oh, yeah? Well, I hope..."
Archer (2009)
"And to that end, Woodhouse, macrobiotic food."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, and smoothies and, uh..."
Archer (2009)
"...and Dicky and I have been planning this trip ever since, and..."
Archer (2009)
"- What? - He's younger."
Archer (2009)
"So we saved up and got a lovely package, and it's prepaid, you see, so..."
Archer (2009)
"- Sir? - That's probably the nicest thing..."
Archer (2009)
"I'm serious. You showed me how important family is."
Archer (2009)
"And I definitely could've been nicer to you, Ca... Cheryl."
Archer (2009)
"- And, Brett! Where's that ribbon, buddy? BRETT: Aah!"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, you gotta go. It's amazing, I hear."
Archer (2009)
"- Come on. I have cancer. - Of the tits."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, give him the booze. Jesus, I should get checked."
Archer (2009)
"Heh. No."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Alcohol?"
Archer (2009)
"So here's to, uh, family, I guess."
Archer (2009)
"Eh."
Archer (2009)
"- Well. - Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"It's kind of weird opening up like this, huh?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah. Give me another belt."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling Malory Archer, this surgery is going to work and you..."
Archer (2009)
"Lana. Lana, what if I don't?"
Archer (2009)
"If I don't get something to eat, I'm literally going to die."
Archer (2009)
"...I was a dick to you like a jillion times?"
Archer (2009)
"- You are also shitfaced. - I can be both."
Archer (2009)
"[ALARM BEEPING]"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Archer."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, Lana? - Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"- Mm-hm. - Or never, probably, knowing you."
Archer (2009)
"I spent last night in the Tombs getting worked over by the cops."
Archer (2009)
"- What? - Fun! Oh, you mean literally."
Archer (2009)
"Too soon?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God. How much cancer was in him?"
Archer (2009)
"This is so boring and forever-taking."
Archer (2009)
"- No. I wanna be here, in case he... - Don't."
Archer (2009)
"No, we're not."
Archer (2009)
"Although he has been a lot nicer ever since he was diagnosed."
Archer (2009)
"[LAUGHING]"
Archer (2009)
"Not too soon for good news, I hope."
Archer (2009)
"[MALORY GASPS]"
Archer (2009)
"Totally cancer-free!"
Archer (2009)
"No, it's fine, Mother, whatever. Hey, how you doing? I beat cancer."
Archer (2009)
"Looks like he's back to his old self."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Hello? There's this great new thing called "coasters.""
Archer (2009)
"So, listen, about last night..."
Archer (2009)
"Lana, hey, I know you probably think it was just because I was drunk..."
Archer (2009)
"WOODHOUSE: Archer residence. - So the thing is, Lana... Here's the thing..."
Archer (2009)
"- Dr. Spelts? - Uh..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, right, listen, I'm kind of celebrating right now, so..."
Archer (2009)
"But I could tell your mom was already crushed about the rain-check thing..."
Archer (2009)
"What was I saying? Oh, yeah, the cancer has spread to your lymph nodes."
Archer (2009)
"- What does that mean? - Well, it's not good, obviously, so..."
Archer (2009)
"- Sterling, what did he say? - The cancer..."
Archer (2009)
"...it spread to my lymph nodes."
Archer (2009)
"- Hey, now. - Sterling, there's radiation treatment..."
Archer (2009)
"- I think just those two things, but... - But you can still be cured."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, listen, I'm gonna clear up this Vegas thing."
Archer (2009)
"Great. All you have to do is go down to the police station and confess."
Archer (2009)
"[PHONE RINGING]"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Well... - And you helped, Mother. I know that."
Archer (2009)
"Lana, sorry, give me one second."
Archer (2009)
"Because I really want you to hear what I have to say."
Archer (2009)
"- Hello? SPELTS: Mr. Archer. Hi, Dr. Spelts again."
Archer (2009)
"...plus some other people, so... - You may want to hold off on that."
Archer (2009)
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