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Clips from Batman - Batman Stands Pat (S01E01)

"[phone beeping]"
Batman
"Yes, Batman."
Batman
"or vanishing people?"
Batman
"As a matter of fact, yes."
Batman
"Word is slowly reaching us that six other fine citizens"
Batman
"have disappeared in the last few days."
Batman
"Along with their headwear."
Batman
"I'll get back to you."
Batman
"The police department's on it's toes."
Batman
"Six more kidnappings."
Batman
"Six, plus the five we know about make eleven."
Batman
"Your cowl's the 13th, that leaves--"
Batman
"One to go...the 12th."
Batman
"12 hats, 12 people."
Batman
"But why, Robin?"
Batman
"What comes in twelve's?"
Batman
"Donuts!"
Batman
"Um, amendments."
Batman
"Mile limits?"
Batman
"Noon-midnight!"
Batman
"Oh, that's not quite it."
Batman
"- Twelve. - A dozen?"
Batman
"Shall we activate the bat computer?"
Batman
"That sounds like a good idea."
Batman
"Feed it a question about dozens."
Batman
"A dozen, a collection of 12 such as a dozen men or women."
Batman
"Or...a dozen men and women!"
Batman
"A jury, jurors!"
Batman
"Of course, Robin, that's what he was after"
Batman
"the 12 hats of the jury that convicted him."
Batman
"And the jurors, Madam Magda, the chef, the fire chief"
Batman
"they were all on that jury."
Batman
"How could I have been so stupid?"
Batman
"Oh no, Batman, you've been pretty busy."
Batman
"One hat left, the key that will hoist our opponent"
Batman
"on his own petard!"
Batman
"[phone beeping]"
Batman
"Charlie, hold on a second, will you please?"
Batman
"Yes, Batman."
Batman
"We maybe on to something important, commissioner."
Batman
"I need the names of the 12 jurors on Mad Hatter's trial."
Batman
"Yes but it may take a little while, I'll call you back."
Batman
"Right."
Batman
"Ahem, I thought I might find you here, sir."
Batman
"Yes, Alfred."
Batman
"It's Mrs. Cooper, sir."
Batman
"Dinner's almost ready and she wondered"
Batman
"if you and Master Robin were back from uh.."
Batman
"...sighting that fork tailed petrel"
Batman
"and black-footed albatross, sir."
Batman
"Tell her we just got back, but we may be taking off again."
Batman
"Oh dear me, how I wish I'd put it, sir?"
Batman
"Uh, Batman, I have the jury list here, what did you want to know?"
Batman
"I'd like the name of the 12th juror, the last one."
Batman
"The 12th huh?"
Batman
"Uh...Turkey Bowinkle?"
Batman
"Oh, he owns the Bowinkle's Bowl-O-Drome."
Batman
"Have you a record of Bowinkle's hat being stolen recently?"
Batman
"Or of Bowinkle being stolen?"
Batman
"'No, we have no report of that.'"
Batman
"Good. I'll call you later."
Batman
"'...and that we sighted some night flying birds.'"
Batman
"And tell her we'll be late for dinner."
Batman
"Very good, sir."
Batman
"On second thought, Alfred, tell her, you'll be late for dinner."
Batman
"- 'Me, sir?' - The 12th juror is Bowinkle."
Batman
"Turkey Bowinkle. He owns a bowling alley."
Batman
"What more fitting head piece for the mad hatter to steal."
Batman
"Our job is to get Alfred there before our cunning adversary"
Batman
"Me, sir?"
Batman
"Our cunning antagonist knows we're after him, Alfred."
Batman
"We must do nothing to excite attention."
Batman
"I want you take this, bat-homing transmitter."
Batman
"'Pay a call on Turkey Bowinkle, at the Bowl-O-Drome.'"
Batman
"'I want you to place it in his hat before it's snatched.'"
Batman
"That way we'll be able to trace him"
Batman
"with a homing receiver in the Batmobile."
Batman
"If I maybe allowed, sir."
Batman
"Roger!"
Batman
"Bowinkle? It's just a family name."
Batman
"That's what I thought."
Batman
"You see, I specialize in Genealogy."
Batman
"Ghosts?"
Batman
"Family trees."
Batman
"When I ran across your name in the book, I was fascinated."
Batman
"Turkey Bowinkle hmm."
Batman
"'You doubt if it has a distinguished pedigree?'"
Batman
"I got license to run this joint, if that's what you mean?"
Batman
"...perhaps if you have some records of your family lineage.."
Batman
"...in your office, hmm?"
Batman
"All I got in my office is my hat."
Batman
"Your.. Well.."
Batman
"...maybe that could tell me something."
Batman
"It's just a little hat."
Batman
"You never can tell Mr. Bowinkle."
Batman
"What maybe useful in tracing a person's descent."
Batman
"Descent?"
Batman
"It ain't no descent to run a bowling alley."
Batman
"I mean, family descent."
Batman
"The natural order of succession"
Batman
"Or even older forms."
Batman
"Monkeys?"
Batman
"Turkey ain't no handle handed down from my grandpa."
Batman
"It's a nick name, in the lingo of ten pins.."
Batman
"..it means three strikes."
Batman
"And Bowinkle means...Bowinkle."
Batman
"Now, nevertheless I would like to take a look at that hat."
Batman
"Perhaps the uh, the head size might prove informative."
Batman
"Seven and five eighth's."
Batman
"That put an extra limb on the family elm?"
Batman
"[instrumental music]"
Batman
"That's Bowinkle at the counter with the old guy."
Batman
"Butter him up, find out where the hat is, signal me"
Batman
"and keep him occupied."
Batman
"Yes, ma'am."
Batman
"Mr. Bowinkle, I'm from 'Male Modes'."
Batman
"Yeah?"
Batman
"It's a magazine, devoted men's fashion."
Batman
"Oh."
Batman
"I'm sure you'll be glad to know you're this week's prize winner."
Batman
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