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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Gothowitz Deviation (S03E03)

"Gonna let It all hang out"
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"Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with me."
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"Sorry, I haven't given her your schedule yet."
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"It's an iCal download. She can put it right in her phone."
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"Even the addition of a second normal-sized human..."
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"...and her husband's name is Sandy."
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"I believe offering chocolate to someone falls within the definition of "nice.""
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"Nice to meet you too."
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"I'm not suggesting we really make her jump out of a pool."
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"Well, I am an astrophysicist, and a lot of that takes place at night."
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"That sounds really cool."
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"So, what do you gals do?"
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"You know, this place is boring."
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"Let's go."
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"...that requires a great deal of analysis and planning."
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"...I can get it done before we go to bed."
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"That girl is freaky."
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"...just on the possibility you could have cheap sex with a girl you met in a bar?"
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"With my luck, hepatitis."
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"I'm putting on the stencil."
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"- What comes after the stencil? - This:"
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"What's the big deal? You've done this before."
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"We're not goth. We're just guys."
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"So you were totally scamming us?"
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"Yes."
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"Huh? Huh? Anything?"
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"Not that anyone cares."
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"Interesting."
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"Did they smell good despite their goth-like nature?"
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"Goin' out tonight"
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"I'm feelin' all right"
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"Wanna make some noise"
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"Really raise my voice"
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"Yeah, I wanna scream and shout"
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"Unh! No..."
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"No."
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"Why not?"
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"Penny, while I subscribe to the Many-Worlds theory..."
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"...which posits the existence of infinite Sheldons in an infinite number..."
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"...of universes, I assure you that none of them am I dancing."
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"Are you fun in any of them?"
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"The math would suggest that in a few, I'm a clown made of candy."
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"But I don't dance."
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"- All right, want some French toast? - It's oatmeal day."
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"Tell you what, next French toast day, I will make you oatmeal."
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"Dear Lord, are you still going to be here on French toast day?"
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"Morning."
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"Look, Leonard, Penny made French toast."
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"And we agreed you'd have conjugal visits in her apartment."
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"We did, but there were extenuating circumstances."
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"I see. Did her abysmal housekeeping skills finally trump her perkiness?"
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"No, her bed kind of broke."
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"That doesn't seem likely. Her bed's of sturdy construction."
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"...wouldn't cause a structural failure, much less a homunculus such as yourself."
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"A homunculus?"
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"Perfectly formed miniature human being."
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"Oh, you're my little homunculus."
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"Don't do that."
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"Sorry. Okay, who wants syrup and who wants cinnamon sugar?"
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"- I want oatmeal. - Yes, well..."
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"...I want a boyfriend whose roommate isn't a giant pain in the ass."
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"- Ha, ha. - I'm sure that will happen soon enough."
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"But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal."
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"You know what? I give up. He's impossible."
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"I can't be impossible, I exist."
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"I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up. He's improbable.""
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"Sheldon, you need to find a better way of dealing with Penny."
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"What am I supposed to do?"
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"Eat French toast on a Monday? Now, that would be impossible."
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"Kim, the night manager, went on maternity leave..."
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"So get this, her replacement is a woman named Sandy..."
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"...whose husband's name is Kim."
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"I'm sorry."
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"Oh, Penny, it's as if the Cheesecake Factory is run by witches."
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"Oh, Sheldon, it's as if you don't think I'll punch you."
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"Come on, you guys. Let it go."
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"Fine, whatever."
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"Are you finished?"
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"Well, thank you. How thoughtful."
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"Would you like a chocolate?"
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"Um, yeah, sure."
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"Thanks."
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"What was that?"
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"You said be nice to Penny."
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"It does. But in my experience, you don't."
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"There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio..."
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"...than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
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"Yeah, now, that's you. Obnoxious and insufferable."
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"What's going on, day dwellers?"
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"Oh, man, did the KISS Army repeal "Don't ask, don't tell"?"
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"No. Raj and I are going to a goth club in Hollywood..."
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"...to hang with the night people."
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"Wanna come along?"
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"Oh, wow, you're actually going out like that?"
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"No, ha, ha. No. I'm going out like this."
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"Howard, what did you do?"
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"They're called tattoo sleeves. Look."
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"Yeah, I bought them online. Raj got a set too."
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"Fantastic, right?"
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"Put them on, have sex with some girl with her business pierced..."
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"...take them off, and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery."
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"You know, I've always wanted to go to a goth nightclub."
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"- Really? - Buzzinga."
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"None of you ever see my practical jokes coming, do you?"
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"In this case, you bet she is."
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"Ahh. Yes, she's pushy and, yes, he's whipped, but that's not the expression."
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"Come on, I wanna stop at Walgreens and pick up some more eyeliner."
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"They're gonna get beaten up at that club."
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"They're gonna get beaten up at Walgreens."
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"Oh, sorry, Sheldon. I almost sat in your spot."
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"Did you? I didn't notice."
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"Have a chocolate."
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"Thank you."
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"I think we're fitting in quite nicely."
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"It'd help if you weren't drinking light beer."
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"Well, what's so gothic about vodka and cranberry juice?"
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"Hello? It looks like blood."
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"Did you even read the wikiHow link I sent you on being goth?"
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"No, I'm behind on my wiki reading."
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"I'm kind of on a John Grisham kick right now."
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