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Clips from House (2004) - Mystery (S01E01)

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What about the snakebite guy?"
House (2004)
"What if I told you the volleyball player had a sudden massive stroke?"
House (2004)
"- Really? - No."
House (2004)
"But that would make you interested, right? What if her T-4 came back low?"
House (2004)
"It's not quite as interesting, but it has the benefit of being true."
House (2004)
"You said the thyroid biopsy was a wasted test."
House (2004)
"No, I didn't. I said she put a person with"
House (2004)
"tendinitis through an expensive and painful test."
House (2004)
"Apparently, the patient had tendinitis and a thyroid condition."
House (2004)
"We're gonna start you on thyroxine. It'll make you feel better and level your moods."
House (2004)
"- So that's it? - You were right the first time."
House (2004)
"Snakebite guy's way more interesting. Gross, actually."
House (2004)
"The patient responded to epinephrine, and the allergic reaction was arrested."
House (2004)
"Unfortunately, the patient continues to deteriorate."
House (2004)
"Maybe the snake wrangler was wrong about the type we caught."
House (2004)
"No, it's not. Notice the volume?"
House (2004)
"I skimmed over that and the gender and the coloring. Jumped right to the name of the snake."
House (2004)
"Two hundred milligrams. Our guy got bit less than four hours ago."
House (2004)
"There's no way a snake regenerates that much venom that quickly."
House (2004)
"- We're supposed to know how fast snakes make their venom? - No."
House (2004)
"Unless you've got a patient bit by one. Then it might be helpful. So what do we do now?"
House (2004)
"He must have been bitten by a different snake. We go back and find it."
House (2004)
"Or you go online, and you find there's only three poisonous snakes common in New Jersey:"
House (2004)
"the copperhead, timber rattler and the coral."
House (2004)
"Copperhead and timber rattler both respond to the antivenoms we gave the guy."
House (2004)
"We can't just blindly give him another antivenom,"
House (2004)
"You said only three types of poisonous snakes commonly found in New Jersey."
House (2004)
"- We gotta find the right snake. - No need."
House (2004)
"Odds are by the time you get back, the autopsy"
House (2004)
"results will tell you what kind of snake it was."
House (2004)
"- But you said-- - So we do give him the antivenom for the other one?"
House (2004)
"Again, was that a question? I asked what you would do."
House (2004)
"It seems unfair for you to ask me what you would do."
House (2004)
"Who gives the guy the other antivenom?"
House (2004)
"And who goes looking for the snake?"
House (2004)
"That's usually the way it works at the leg-turning-black stage."
House (2004)
"So half of us killed him, and half of us saved his life."
House (2004)
"- Yeah. - We can't be blamed for--"
House (2004)
"I'm sure this goes against everything you've been taught, but right and wrong do exist."
House (2004)
"Just because you don't know what the right answer is--"
House (2004)
"maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is--"
House (2004)
"doesn't make your answer right or even okay."
House (2004)
"It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong."
House (2004)
"We gave the guy the antivenom. What if I'm allergic again?"
House (2004)
"That's why these people are here."
House (2004)
"to ensure your airways stay open and your heart keeps beating."
House (2004)
"My wife's on her way in. Can't this wait?"
House (2004)
"It hurts again. He came back?"
House (2004)
"On average, drug addicts are stupid."
House (2004)
"A lot of doctors wouldn't risk their careers on a hunch."
House (2004)
"It's not a hunch. I mean, I know he wants drugs."
House (2004)
"Well, even drug addicts get sick."
House (2004)
"Actually, for some reason, they tend to get sick more often than non-drug addicts."
House (2004)
"Luckily, you don't have to play your hunch."
House (2004)
"There's a faster way. Actually, there are several."
House (2004)
"My preference is urine testing."
House (2004)
"- But you already know he has drugs in his system. - That's not what I'm testing for."
House (2004)
"We're gonna put this hard rubber tube up your urethra and into your bladder."
House (2004)
"- It may be a little uncomfortable. - Shouldn't I be getting some sort of anesthetic?"
House (2004)
"We're concerned about allergic reactions today."
House (2004)
"Or he's really jonesing."
House (2004)
"There's easier ways to get ahold of drugs."
House (2004)
"Other hospitals, for example."
House (2004)
"The volleyball player is not responding to treatment."
House (2004)
"At least we think it's not working..."
House (2004)
"on account of the fact that she's getting worse."
House (2004)
"- Can you still hear me? - No."
House (2004)
"A little! Not really!"
House (2004)
"Well, if you can't hear me, how do you know what I asked?"
House (2004)
"I don't know. It really hurts. I promise to be very careful."
House (2004)
"- Susan-- - Not her real name."
House (2004)
"Susan, I barely touched you."
House (2004)
"It hurts so much! I'm sorry. I have to get this blood. Just hold on."
House (2004)
"Hypersensitivity to touch."
House (2004)
"- Her calcium up? - Lab over 16."
House (2004)
"- Question is why. Likely suspects. - Parathyroid adenoma."
House (2004)
"- Kidney problems. - Vit "D" intoxication. - Hyperthyroid."
House (2004)
"- Caused by our treatment? - Whoa, whoa."
House (2004)
"Can you please slow down?"
House (2004)
"The adenoma is most likely."
House (2004)
"Check her P.T.H., phosphorus..."
House (2004)
"And do a technetium sestamibi."
House (2004)
"Okay, that's enough about the volleyball player."
House (2004)
"- What's up with the farmer? - What farmer?"
House (2004)
"Snakebite guy."
House (2004)
"Oh, right. You guys don't know about him."
House (2004)
"He doesn't get bitten until three months after we treat the volleyball player."
House (2004)
"Luckily, it's been well established that time is not a fixed construct."
House (2004)
"His condition is not improving. Double the dosage."
House (2004)
"- Already did. - There's another antivenom."
House (2004)
"- It's not as effective, but-- - Already tried it."
House (2004)
"- The first stuff, the stuff he was allergic to. - Gave it to him with high-dose steroids."
House (2004)
"- Nothing's working. - What does it all mean?"
House (2004)
"- Wrong snake? - We tried every other antivenom we had."
House (2004)
"- We're too late? - Yep. He's dying. His wife's here."
House (2004)
"Finally found a babysitter. Who wants to let 'em know?"
House (2004)
"- Actually, I'm kidding. - He's not dying?"
House (2004)
"Oh, yeah, he's dying. But there's no wife and kid."
House (2004)
"Which is great."
House (2004)
"Makes the breaking-the-news thing way easier."
House (2004)
"Oh, yeah. One more piece of news."
House (2004)
"The drug addict is peeing blood."
House (2004)
"How do they teach you how to tell someone that they're dying?"
House (2004)
"It's kind of like teaching architects how to explain why their building fell down."
House (2004)
"Do you role-play and stuff?"
House (2004)
"What do you have to do to get an "A" in You're Dying 101?"
House (2004)
"They grade you on gentleness and supportiveness?"
House (2004)
"Is there a scale for measuring compassion?"
House (2004)
"This buddy of mine--"
House (2004)
"I gotta give him 10 bucks every time someone says thank you."
House (2004)
"Needs brown."
House (2004)
"I don't get thanked that often."
House (2004)
"In a few hours."
House (2004)
"You're not going home."
House (2004)
"But my dog. What will happen to my dog?"
House (2004)
"Her neck looks clean. No adenoma."
House (2004)
"Wait, wait, wait. The guy's dying, and all he cares about is his dog?"
House (2004)
"Any of you guys go the dog route in your improv sessions?"
House (2004)
"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies."
House (2004)
"The only variable is about what."
House (2004)
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