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Clips from The Cleveland Show - The Blue, the Gray and the Brown (S02E02)

"But if you ask this small-town American,"
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"Uh-uh."
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"Hey, Floyd, two adults, three children"
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"That's real life."
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"Have a great night."
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"Oh no, my eyes are welling up!"
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"Hey, it's still early."
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"♪ And I am proud to be ♪"
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"♪ Right back in my hometown ♪"
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"♪ With my new family ♪"
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"♪ There's old friends and new friends ♪"
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"♪ It's true love we share ♪"
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"♪ And so I found a place ♪"
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"Two hours, 32 minutes."
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"I even got an iPhone Civil War reenactment app."
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"Tells me all the best bushes on the battlefield to take a leak in."
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"I don't even know why we have a historical reenactment."
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"Give us a big ol' "historectomy.""
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"why, why just, why don't you bring it up"
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"Ladies and gentlemen, please rise"
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"Mr. Brown, get your up here."
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"was not wearing shorts, like a damn child."
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"♪ Oh, yeah, the smallest towns have the biggest hearts ♪"
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"♪ Like the smallest minds have the biggest smarts ♪"
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"♪ Like the smallest walls have the biggest marts ♪"
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"♪ Small-ass town, big-ass hearts! ♪"
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"♪ Small-ass town, big a-- ♪"
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"Check it out, boys."
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"Ha! "Drive-Ib"?"
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"Oh, man, Jay's gonna love this one."
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"3000 West Alameda Avenue, Burbank, California, 91523."
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"Okay."
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"Maybe. Perhaps. Yeah."
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"We're having a dinner at my home in Stoolbend Estates,"
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"The Estates?!"
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"Is that the place guarded by a fake cop in a phone booth?"
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"And a plywood gate arm to keep the poor people out."
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"See you tonight."
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"No time to get a new outfit."
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"My wife keeps my balls in a honey jar."
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"That's you."
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"Dumb bear."
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"It was Smurf meat."
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"our newest preservationist, Mr. Cleveland Brown."
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"Glad to have you on board, Cleveland."
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"and a good, old-fashioned elephant walk."
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"Cleveland, thank you so much for joining our effort."
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"Oh, I'm just doing"
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"what any red-blooded Stoolbendipudlian would do."
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"You never see a red bulldozer."
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"Or a yellow fire truck."
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"Hey, hold it right there, bulldozerer."
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"And if you think you're going to unlock me,"
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"think again."
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"Water, please."
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"So you're really going to stay all chained to that ?"
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"Sorry, I wasn't listening."
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"Wait-- slave-owning ?"
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"♪ Whiter than whipped cream... ♪"
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"♪ We proudly vow to never ♪"
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"Those are the words?!"
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"♪ And don't even get us started ♪"
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"I've been used."
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"This park is nasty."
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"Of course you'd enjoy that,"
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"She's got a lot of garments on."
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"I can't believe my small Southern town"
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"Cleveland, I know that's not true."
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"You love this town."
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"Ruin the thing he's most excited about."
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"You're right, Donna! His mistress!"
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"Thanks for the free pass!"
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"That's what I'm talking about!"
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"There will be no mistresses."
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"And so, when in the course of human events,"
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"one wants to take down a wealthy racist"
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"and win the battle for the North!"
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"Terry? Damn skippy!"
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"Aaron! I know who you are, Aaron."
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"Cleveland, I went to Robert E. Lee Elementary,"
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"Then I'll see you on the battlefield."
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"With blanks in them"
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"Oh."
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"Braving the low 50s Virginia winter,"
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""Dear Donna, I go to battle today,"
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""and lest I should not be able to call or text,"
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""I feel I must needs write to you."
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""the taste of your lips,"
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""Dearest Arianna, I fear I may not make it home."
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"Nailed a chick with pinkeye in a Taco Bell bathroom.""
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"Attack their right flank!"
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"How are we supposed to fake win this fake battle?"
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"No. We have to fight."
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"♪ Hello! ♪"
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"All right. Boring."
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"No? Okay, we got what we need to know."
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"And that's an order, Lieutenant!"
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"But you can't."
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"That's not what happened!"
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"Well, in the words of Raj, it's what's happening now."
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"Probably even sooner, 'cause we're just gonna sneak up"
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"Okay. Sure."
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"The rules, Jeff."
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"If you get shot, you have to die."
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"Die, Daddy! Die, Daddy!"
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"Oh, God, Daddy."
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"Not, uh... not-not creeping me out at all."
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"Not quite."
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"But why?"
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"Turns out a lot of the Confederates here are"
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"which are more important to me"
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"Now die, Yankee!"
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"Gotcha."
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"and later died from a bacterial infection."
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"I hereby declare victory in the Battle of Stoolbend..."
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"And after all the bars had stopped serving,"
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"of B. Emerson Plunkett."
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"Family, you are in for a treat."
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"it's the only way to see a movie."
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"Drive-ins sound stupid."
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