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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Leslie's House (S02E02)

"Well, I think somebody from Animal Services is gonna get canned."
Parks and Recreation
"Oh, my God. What part of not talking do you not understand?"
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"There are very few things I've asked for in this world."
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"And to one day solve a murder on a train."
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"Hi. Sorry I'm a little bit late."
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"Andy Dwyer! Can't wait to catch up with this guy."
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"Why, yeah. Thank you."
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"I can't wait, I'm gonna get to hang out with all your friends tonight."
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"most exciting night of your life. I cannot over-hype it enough."
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"Is that Justin's coat?"
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"He got it in Cambodia, when he was hiking Mount Everest."
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"Let's put chewed up gum in his pockets."
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"That's genius. But I can't."
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"Leslie's being super cool to me,"
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"I'll do it when you're not in the room then."
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"I'm being sarcastic. That would be awesome."
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"God, India is so amazing. Let me tell you something."
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"Are you kidding? My uncle practically runs the place."
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"I got to bone up."
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"Fourth largest coal reserves in the world."
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"Where'd you find this bartender?"
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"Oh... I think... I don't know."
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"Like, maybe the Yellow Pages."
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"There's no way that you're paying him enough."
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"Well, if you want, I could teach you the secret to great..."
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"Good. Okay, do you think this party's going well?"
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"I'm just gonna casually make my..."
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"I'm dancing around, freaking out."
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"Oh, my God, that is unbelievable. Oh, my God, that's..."
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"Didn't happen to me. It was a kid I knew from camp."
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"Hey. I'm sorry. Are we late?"
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"What the hell are you doing?"
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"How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here?"
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"He's gonna wrap her up in his moustache and take her home."
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"We agreed that we should invite interesting people for Justin,"
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"I've been telling you for weeks that you should tell her how you feel."
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"Now's your chance! Oh, yeah. That makes sense."
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"No, it doesn't! Not cool, at all!"
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"The first course is a Mexican bean soup."
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"Are these peppers for consuming?"
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"Hot."
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"Please, that was one of the tiny ones."
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"This is something, Justin. Derek and Ben are gay,"
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"but often, on occasion, April will have relations with Derek."
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"Right? Crazy stuff. Discuss that."
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"There's not much more to discuss. You kind of explained it all."
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"Who else is gay?"
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"of excitement in India or something."
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"Yes, just to be clear, this will in no way influence me."
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"It won't affect my decision."
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"And it has no bearing on the future of your class."
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"Poor Tommy. He has a very frail colon."
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"The hottest thing I ever put into my mouth"
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"was in this remote village in Southern Brazil."
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"This sounds good. Yeah."
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"They take a little bit of scorpion poison and they serve..."
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"A belly dancer?"
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"that's gonna throw someone out,"
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"or, you know, not let them in if they randomly show up."
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"they all come running."
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"You don't do origami every day, do ya?"
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"They brought in a little entertainment, thank God."
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"That Justin, he's so boring."
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"What are you talking about? He's incredible."
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"I would totally break up with Ben for him."
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"I could lose my liquor license, I'm sorry. Andy."
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"Hey. Are you having fun?"
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"I cannot believe there's more."
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"There's not."
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"Miss Knopes, I understand that you're"
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"When it comes to choosing accounting software,"
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"there's no accounting for taste."
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"Yeah, I think we're probably gonna take off, too."
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"The demonstration takes another 45 minutes."
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"Yeah, guys, please. Everybody, can you just stay? Okay?"
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"Justin, would you..."
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"I promise you, Miss Knope, this disciplinary committee will go over"
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"Do you have anything to say before we begin?"
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"I would like to say that Leslie is incapable"
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"of using people for her own gain."
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"But I can't, because Leslie loves using people for her own gain."
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"If I may, Phil, I'd like to say"
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"something to Tom on the record."
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"This has all been on the record."
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"I'm very sorry that I invited Wendy to the party."
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"No, she's my soon-to-be ex-wife."
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"And hopefully-then-to-be future-wife."
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"Look, I'm really sorry."
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"I put a new romance in front of an old friendship."
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"I put a big white stallion in front of a little brown pony."
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"Totally uncalled for."
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"Ron Swanson will be next."
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"with a question."
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"was provided by rec center teachers?"
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"No. I wouldn't have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises?"
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"What constitutes a promise?"
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"A quid pro quo. Oh!"
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"Do you know Latin?"
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"Okay. Thank you, Ron."
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"Well, I'm sorry. But I don't know what you're talking about."
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"I would."
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"So, you don't work for the government and you had no idea"
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"that these people were teachers from the local rec center?"
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"That will become clear."
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"Mr. Anderson, could you please describe that evening?"
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"Well, I had a very pleasant time."
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"And from my perspective, there was no abuse of power with respect to Miss Knope"
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"and any of her various guests."
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"Did you have a good time? Did you have a great time?"
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"Be specific, and do remember that you're under oath."
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"I had an amazing time."
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"But you fell asleep."
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"I'd been given a case the night before,"
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"so I had to stay up all night working on it and I didn't want to cancel."
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"You should've told me. I would've rescheduled."
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"I had an awesome time which had nothing"
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"to do with the rec center teachers."
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"Okay. We're going to take a break,"
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"so I can't talk about it right now."
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"There's some Kabuki theater festival happening."
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