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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Park Safety (S02E02)

"Baby monkeys in diapers are the cutest."
Parks and Recreation
"Just a bad luck streak, buddy."
Parks and Recreation
"Yeah."
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"Yep."
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"No, I always write my own name."
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"I thought Freddy Spaghetti OD'd."
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"Oh."
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"Remember when he fell into the toilet?"
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""I got confused and took a shower,"
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""after I got dressed, because I'm Jerry.""
Parks and Recreation
"A "schlemiel" is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party."
Parks and Recreation
"A "schlimazel" is the guy he spills it on."
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""And then I put my underwear on my head instead of my butt.""
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"Okay. Okay, guys. That's enough."
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"Hi, Ann."
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"Oh, no."
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"Okay. He's okay."
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"You guys are just going to laugh."
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"I was mugged. Oh."
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"Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so sorry, Jerry."
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"and I was walking Lord Sheldon."
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"Lord Sheldon is my dog. My wife named him."
Parks and Recreation
"Anyway, these kids, they came out of nowhere,"
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"and they knocked me to the ground."
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"Did you hit him in the beanbag?"
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"Did any of them have weird tattoos or scars or anything?"
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"I didn't get a good look."
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"Why? We didn't mug Jerry."
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"He doesn't have a black eye."
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"Jerry's face is the symbol of failure."
Parks and Recreation
"Our failure to keep the parks safe."
Parks and Recreation
"And some homemade taffy."
Parks and Recreation
"Mmm. Mmm-hmm."
Parks and Recreation
"Donna, I need you to go to Ramsett Park. Tom, you're with me."
Parks and Recreation
"So, when you say that you want me to check in with the police liaison,"
Parks and Recreation
"No. Just check in with him. Everybody dismissed."
Parks and Recreation
"What?"
Parks and Recreation
"Arm wrestle me right now."
Parks and Recreation
"Hey."
Parks and Recreation
"Not too bad."
Parks and Recreation
"No. Jerry who works with Leslie."
Parks and Recreation
"Uh..."
Parks and Recreation
"Scrotation Marks."
Parks and Recreation
"New band name."
Parks and Recreation
"So, I think we have to change it just one more time..."
Parks and Recreation
"and his maid and his nurse."
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"Anything at all."
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"That sounds good to me. Okay."
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"Tom."
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"First thing we should have is my graph about the season. What?"
Parks and Recreation
"Tom, Muncie is a lovely city."
Parks and Recreation
"Anyway, Hunting and Fishing Season is winding down. Okay?"
Parks and Recreation
"I don't even think I can..."
Parks and Recreation
"Is it hot in here? I feel hot. Are you guys hot?"
Parks and Recreation
"How you guys doing? I'm good. You guys got any snacks?"
Parks and Recreation
"What did you guys do for St. Patty's Day?"
Parks and Recreation
"I just feel like there's more we can do to keep the parks safe."
Parks and Recreation
"Well, you might not be so confident once you've walked a mile in my size sevens."
Parks and Recreation
"Actually, seven is the worldwide average."
Parks and Recreation
"Ron, do you think that maybe I should put Mark in a headlock?"
Parks and Recreation
"In the scenario you just laid out, you're the pervert."
Parks and Recreation
"how to extract oneself from a wrist grab."
Parks and Recreation
"This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her,"
Parks and Recreation
"Also, her daughter was having sex way too young."
Parks and Recreation
"Ann, that was awesome. That was really good."
Parks and Recreation
"I don't know, Leslie. I'd rather be back at the office."
Parks and Recreation
"I know this is painful for you, Jerry, but you have to be strong."
Parks and Recreation
"You guys ready?"
Parks and Recreation
"When I was a kid, my parents used to"
Parks and Recreation
"make me hang out in the backyard a lot"
Parks and Recreation
"and just run around until I got tired."
Parks and Recreation
"And ladies, too."
Parks and Recreation
"This thing is a mess."
Parks and Recreation
"What's this one? This is the second one."
Parks and Recreation
"Oh, no. You know what? I think we've got too much weight."
Parks and Recreation
"Okay. Here we go."
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"Up here on the left is one of our most beautiful grass fields."
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"Stick with us, Tom."
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"Cool. Now, I don't want to hurt you, Ron."
Parks and Recreation
"Sure. When you get out, you may counter-attack."
Parks and Recreation
"Okay. I see where we're going with this..."
Parks and Recreation
"There's been 10 assaults already this year."
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"One way or another, I'm going to get money so you can protect Jerry,"
Parks and Recreation
"and all the other helpless, pathetic people in this town."
Parks and Recreation
"Can I just take a rest for a minute?"
Parks and Recreation
"Sun's going down and it's real dangerous out here."
Parks and Recreation
"No. No, I'm fine. Thank you."
Parks and Recreation
"This is my co-worker, Jerry Gergich."
Parks and Recreation
"Diabetic. Sloppily out of shape. Friend."
Parks and Recreation
"He was mugged this morning in Ramsett Park."
Parks and Recreation
"but he's failing."
Parks and Recreation
"So, what is the solution to fix this?"
Parks and Recreation
"To make it right. And not bad."
Parks and Recreation
"And Pawnee, I am sorry to say this,"
Parks and Recreation
"I'm sorry, Paul, but one of my guys got mugged in the park."
Parks and Recreation
"The Mayor is going to divert $2500 to the Parks for security upgrades."
Parks and Recreation
"I don't know who you're referring to."
Parks and Recreation
"We treat everyone with respect around here."
Parks and Recreation
"there was an incident involving a government employee in Ramsett Park."
Parks and Recreation
"You'll be fine."
Parks and Recreation
"That's why we're here today to give Pawnee..."
Parks and Recreation
"Get up here. I'm going to speak for Jerry."
Parks and Recreation
"Correct."
Parks and Recreation
"Were you even in the park yesterday?"
Parks and Recreation
"and it landed on a log in the creek."
Parks and Recreation
"Damn, Jerry! You jumped in a creek for a burrito?"
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"Hey."
Parks and Recreation
"I wanted to check in. I brought some stuff from the hospital."
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"I got you one of those veggie muffins that you're always eating."
Parks and Recreation
"Score."
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"Yeah. It tastes like a rug."
Parks and Recreation
"I am. Thank you for that."
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"That's so cool."
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"People change, I guess..."
Parks and Recreation
"There is someone in your department"
Parks and Recreation
"Carl, could you quietly quiet down for a second,"
Parks and Recreation
"Keep your eyes on the creek."
Parks and Recreation
"Fine. I'll have sex with you in exchange for the tape."
Parks and Recreation
"Just listen to what I have to say."
Parks and Recreation
"We should probably take some calls."
Parks and Recreation
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