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Clips from South Park - Lil' Crime Stoppers (S07E07)

"Damn."
South Park
"One UPS vehicle valued at $25,000, one civilian vehicle worth $16,000."
South Park
"The second floor of the post office, and a coffee shop valued at $60,000."
South Park
"The Mayor's gonna have my ass!"
South Park
"Sir, we just got kind of blindsided by the..."
South Park
"You got careless! Now, I don't know how they do things"
South Park
"but here we have rules!"
South Park
"Jesus, we don't even have guys to question now"
South Park
"- We're sorry. - One more slip-up like that"
South Park
"and I'll have your badges, you hear me? Now hit the showers!"
South Park
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the super cops!"
South Park
"Hey, Murphy, think they'll let me borrow their G.I. Joes?"
South Park
"Relax, Hopkins, all fun and games, right?"
South Park
"So tell us, rookies, you find yourself a little "bonus" in that house?"
South Park
"Come on, we all skim a little off the top. Or are you too good for that?"
South Park
"You think you're gonna waltz in here and clean up the system, is that it?"
South Park
"- We just wanna be junior detectives. - Look, we all work hard!"
South Park
"And we deserve more than the $30,000 a year we get paid."
South Park
"Yeah! Who the hell are you to change that?"
South Park
"Why don't you and your rookie friends make us?"
South Park
"- That's right, come on. Let's go. - Let's go, come on, bring it!"
South Park
"- What the hell is the problem here? - No problem, sir. No problem at all."
South Park
"Then hit the showers, all of you."
South Park
"Better how, dude?"
South Park
"Go back to playing car mechanics? Or Laundromat owners?"
South Park
"We were happy playing Laundromat owners."
South Park
"I wasn't. We started playing detective"
South Park
"because we wanted our playtime to mean something."
South Park
"Hey, Broflovski's a good cop!"
South Park
"but I'm not gonna give those kids playing the FBI a chance to laugh at us."
South Park
"Eric, where have you been? It's 10:30."
South Park
"We had to take down a meth lab on Mala Vista."
South Park
"Well, you should have called Mommy."
South Park
"Will you get off my back? It's hard enough I gotta work the beat."
South Park
"Look, look, I'm sorry. It's just this case"
South Park
"and the guys down at the station. I'm tired, all right? I'm tired."
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"And so you can see, children, that the women's movement"
South Park
"had a profound effect on feminism in America. Boys!"
South Park
"Would it trouble you terribly not to sleep in my class?"
South Park
"- We weren't sleeping, Mr. Garrison. - Oh, well, then maybe you can tell me"
South Park
"who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early '60s."
South Park
"Right, but who was the fattest, oldest skank on her period?"
South Park
"was an old fat-ass by the name of..."
South Park
"Marsh, Broflovski, McCormick, Cartman, in my office!"
South Park
"They found a paper trail leading all the way"
South Park
"The operators apparently run their business"
South Park
"has no place in this century!"
South Park
"Now you get down to that strip joint and you do it by the books, you got it?"
South Park
"The Mayor is in my ass..."
South Park
"So, what did you boys have to say to the Lieutenant?"
South Park
"Nothing, he just told us a bunch of stuff."
South Park
"No."
South Park
"Dude, if my mom knew I was in here, I would be in super big trouble."
South Park
"Dance? Anyone like a dance?"
South Park
"All right, guys, put your hands together, be sure to tip the dancers,"
South Park
"let's hear it for Candy."
South Park
"What the hell are you kids doing in here?"
South Park
"This isn't an appropriate place for children."
South Park
"All right, so I'll have to start having the McKormicks make our meth again..."
South Park
"Hey, Gino, these kids say they know you."
South Park
"- What? I don't know no kids! - I didn't think so. All right, you kids..."
South Park
"to get our drugs past the security at DIA."
South Park
"How would you like to join our family?"
South Park
"These kids are cops, man!"
South Park
"Kenny, it doesn't go peekew, peekew. It goes bang, bang, bang!"
South Park
"God damn it! Those junior detectives and their heroically reckless ways!"
South Park
"Dance? Anybody like a dance?"
South Park
"Freeze! South Park Detectives!"
South Park
"Great job, boys. You found the meth boss."
South Park
"Detective Murphy, Jankins, what the hell are you doing?"
South Park
"- We had a deal. - A deal?"
South Park
"All right, guys, put your hands together. Lot of shooting and killing going on,"
South Park
"but be sure to tip your waitresses. Let's hear it for Rebecca."
South Park
"Get me a hard line to the phone and I want choppers on the roof."
South Park
"- Who the hell are you? - Agent Fields, FBI."
South Park
"- Hey, I'm in charge of this investigation. - Not any more, you're not."
South Park
"- But that's not fair! - Is so! Is so!"
South Park
"Sorry, Detective Hopkins, we can't let anybody know about our partnership."
South Park
"- That's right. We split it all. 50-50. - That's right."
South Park
"I'm in business alone. And that means that the only person"
South Park
"that I can't trust is myself."
South Park
"Looks like Murphy and Jankins got what they deserved."
South Park
"If it weren't for you boys, we would have never cleaned up the department."
South Park
"All right, Detectives. Let's get one thing straight."
South Park
"I do not agree with your methods."
South Park
"You're uncontrolled and you're negligent."
South Park
"But, by God, you get the job done. Congratulations."
South Park
"- Thanks. - I'm probably gonna regret this,"
South Park
"but, well, I'm promoting you to full detectives."
South Park
"There'll be lots more action and that big paycheque you've always wanted."
South Park
"for two days straight and then finally, I thought about Stan's mom's boobs"
South Park
"and this little tiny splooge of this white stuff came out!"
South Park
"That's great, Butters, but we're not playing detective any more."
South Park
"We're playing Laundromat owners."
South Park
"Have you reported this to any other authorities?"
South Park
"His plan was to use a hammer. Bash, bash, bash your skull in,"
South Park
"Then to make it impossible for police to identify the body,"
South Park
"- Really? - Oh, right, you're supposed"
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"Sure."
South Park
"down at that dog-and-pony show they call the fourth grade,"
South Park
"I said, back off, Murphy!"
South Park
"- Would you like a dance? - No, thanks."
South Park
"Hey, wait a minute! These kids might be just what we need"
South Park
"The arms and legs he would dissolve with acid and lime in the bathtub."
South Park
"Disposing of the doll wouldn't be easy."
South Park
"We go get the doll ourselves."
South Park
"That's gay."
South Park
"Oh, crap, they're coming in the back!"
South Park
"Fellas! Hey, fellas! I got it! I got my semen sample!"
South Park
"Look, we said we wanted to form a club to protect and serve South Park."
South Park
"Yo, Gino, I know I seen these kids before, man!"
South Park
"We got it!"
South Park
"Oh, and deputies, you screw this up"
South Park
"So what if we take in a little on the side?"
South Park
"A bunch of fat, old skanks on their periods?"
South Park
"out of a sleazy strip joint down in Englewood."
South Park
"And your little "shoot first, ask questions later" technique"
South Park
"That's right, we're partners in the drug business."
South Park
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