Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from South Park - Lil' Crime Stoppers (S07E07)

"We're wondering if you have any crimes you need solved for a dollar?"
South Park
"It's a great idea. We just have to keep working at it."
South Park
"Oh, hello there, boys."
South Park
"Really?"
South Park
"Yes. Two days ago I put a fresh baked cherry pie out on my windowsill to cool."
South Park
"No, but I think it's a perfect case for you kids."
South Park
"We're on the case."
South Park
"What have you got, Marsh?"
South Park
"I think we can piece this case together now."
South Park
"My pie tin! But what happened to the pie?"
South Park
"But its sweet smell attracted the attention of somebody."
South Park
"Your husband."
South Park
"he would use his shovel to remove your head."
South Park
"Then saw off the arms and legs."
South Park
"The torso he would dump into the lake."
South Park
"Looks like the game is over, old man."
South Park
"Do you know where your doll is?"
South Park
"Damn it, Kenny, that's not what she said!"
South Park
"Put that away, dude."
South Park
"possibly while cutting the palms of his hands with a large knife."
South Park
"O'Donnel, get me smears of all the places the doll used to be."
South Park
"Not any more, you're not."
South Park
"Well, I guess we can go back to playing Laundromat."
South Park
"Where were you this morning at 9:00, Butters?"
South Park
"How do I do that?"
South Park
"You just make the semen come out of your body,"
South Park
"You guys, did you hear that?"
South Park
"Butters doesn't know how you make semen come out of your body."
South Park
"I don't know. I was hoping you guys did."
South Park
"It's that thing we learned about in school"
South Park
"where you pull on your wiener until white stuff comes out."
South Park
"Okay, retard, you really don't know how to make semen come out?"
South Park
"Now go sit on the toilet and pull and tug on your wiener"
South Park
"until white stuff comes out, then put it in this cup."
South Park
"- It's not working. - Try doing it faster."
South Park
"What?"
South Park
"- What? - I see two guys inside."
South Park
"They've got the doll."
South Park
"Okay, okay, ready? Ring the door bell."
South Park
"We know you have Sarah Peterson's doll."
South Park
"- They're playing detective. - That's gay."
South Park
"we're playing detectives! Detectives don't just go tell on people!"
South Park
"Time! Time is what we need, but time is something we ain't got!"
South Park
"- Hey, you buttholes can't play FBI here! - Yeah, this was our hot lead!"
South Park
"We're going to charge the front door and go get it."
South Park
"and you have to obey what the FBI says. That's the rules."
South Park
"Just because your parents can afford better toys than ours,"
South Park
"But they said we can't charge the front door."
South Park
"- No, you didn't! - Did so!"
South Park
"They got me!"
South Park
"Hello there, little crime stoppers!"
South Park
"I heard you did a great job finding little Sarah Peterson's doll."
South Park
"We do what we can, sir."
South Park
"All right, so, ready for your first assignment?"
South Park
"Police, open up."
South Park
"You won't take us alive!"
South Park
"because you killed them all."
South Park
"Come on, you guys, leave them alone."
South Park
"A bonus?"
South Park
"Dude, I don't wanna play detective any more."
South Park
"- Me neither. - It'll get better, you guys."
South Park
"We put all this time into it. I mean, what do you guys wanna do, huh?"
South Park
"Or have you forgotten why you joined the force, Kyle?"
South Park
"You guys can go back to playing Laundromat owners if you want,"
South Park
"I'll see you guys at school tomorrow."
South Park
"Now I gotta come home to your nagging?"
South Park
"Well, why don't you get ready for snuggums night-night"
South Park
"and I'll bring you some toasty chocolate nummers."
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"- Butters? - Yes?"
South Park
"Are you still trying to give a semen sample?"
South Park
"- I'm trying, but nothing's coming out... - Well, keep trying, Butters."
South Park
"of the late '50s and early '60s,"
South Park
"That's what I thought. Now pay attention!"
South Park
"Okay, children, now the biggest skank of all"
South Park
"Looks like that meth lab you took down was just the tip of the iceberg."
South Park
"to the biggest crime syndicate in Colorado."
South Park
"Maybe you decided you needed to tell him about our bonus money."
South Park
"- They're lying. - They're dead."
South Park
"- Dance? Anyone like a dance? - It's okay. We know the owner."
South Park
"Oh, really? Let's go see."
South Park
"- These kids are five-o. - What?"
South Park
"Murphy! Jankins! Hopkins! Get in there!"
South Park
"Christ! Those junior detectives have no regard for the law."
South Park
"- You did? - I was up there pounding my wiener"
South Park
"Would you like those pants cleaned for $4.95?"
South Park
"Yes? Oh, hello, boys."
South Park
"Hello, sir. South Park Junior Detectives."
South Park
"Lil' crime stoppers, huh?"
South Park
"Well, I'm afraid I don't have any crimes I need solved right now."
South Park
"All right, sir, well, please call us if you need anything."
South Park
"I'll do that. Have fun, boys."
South Park
"Stupid assholes. How come nobody has a crime to solve?"
South Park
"Yeah, maybe starting a detective club isn't such a great idea."
South Park
"Hello, ma'am, we're detectives with the South Park Crime Unit."
South Park
"Do you have any crimes you need solved for a dollar?"
South Park
"Oh, neighbourhood detectives, huh?"
South Park
"Well, let me think... Oh, yes, there is something!"
South Park
"And later when I went to get it, it was gone."
South Park
"My God!"
South Park
"Cool. We'll see what we can find, ma'am!"
South Park
"Detective McCormick found something interesting."
South Park
"Jesus, we're too late."
South Park
"Well, we've all talked it through and we've come up with a theory."
South Park
"Well, what do you think happened, little detectives?"
South Park
"You said you sat the pie on the windowsill,"
South Park
"where it must have sat for some time."
South Park
"He wanted that pie badly, but he knew that he was not allowed to eat it yet."
South Park
"Slowly, the rage built inside his mind. "Why won't she let me eat that pie?""
South Park
""Why does she always stop me from doing what I want to do?""
South Park
"His only solution became obvious: Kill her."
South Park
"causing instant death."
South Park
"And then finally, he'd be able to eat that pie."
South Park
"But before he could go through with his entire plan,"
South Park
"he discovered that the pie had already been eaten. By your dog."
South Park
"Oh, my God! What kind of television have you kids been watching?"
South Park
"Just the news."
South Park
"All right, all right, you boys run along now."
South Park
"- Hey, you owe us a dollar, lady. - Fine! Here, just go."
South Park
"Wow, look, you guys, our first dollar. We're in business."
South Park
Show more clips