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Clips from South Park - Lil' Crime Stoppers (S07E07)

"Kenny, you got the FAG on that perp in Washington?"
South Park
"- Boys, you have a little visitor. - Is this the South Park Crime Unit?"
South Park
"- Yes, it is. - I lost my dolly."
South Park
"Thank you, Ms. Secretary, that will be all."
South Park
"And get us some more cookies and coffee."
South Park
"We're not paying you to sit on your ass."
South Park
"If I knew where it was, it wouldn't be lost."
South Park
"All right, Sarah, come over here."
South Park
"Now, I want you to describe what the doll looks like"
South Park
"to our sketch artist, Kenny."
South Park
"She has curly blond hair."
South Park
"And a red dress. And a turned-up nose."
South Park
"- And a blue bow in her hair. - You got it, Ken?"
South Park
"All right, let's see."
South Park
"Don't worry, ma'am, we'll find your doll."
South Park
"- No sign of forced entry. - But the window isn't locked."
South Park
"Right, so it's possible the thief sat out in that tree."
South Park
"He would have watched Sarah with her doll,"
South Park
"The pain gave him sick pleasure."
South Park
"He would have had to have brought a shovel to decapitate it."
South Park
"We're going to need semen samples from everything in this room."
South Park
"All right, let's do this by the books."
South Park
"Mitchell, run a tap on the phone."
South Park
"- Hey, kid, what are you doing? - Agent Tucker, FBI. And you?"
South Park
"Detective Marsh. I'm in charge of this investigation."
South Park
"Hey, this is our case! You can't come in and take over."
South Park
"Can't we? You guys are playing detectives,"
South Park
"we're playing FBI. That gives us jurisdiction over you."
South Park
"Oh, crap!"
South Park
"I want choppers on the roof ready to go."
South Park
"Dude, we've been working this case since 2:30."
South Park
"Good, then you can help us by telling me everything you know."
South Park
"Son of a bitch stupid FBI."
South Park
"No! We're not gonna stop playing detectives."
South Park
"We've just got to find that little girl's doll before those FBI guys do."
South Park
"Yeah, but how?"
South Park
"We're gonna have to just start bringing in people for questioning."
South Park
"Right, I think I know exactly where to start."
South Park
"- Well, I was at home. - Your story is full of holes,"
South Park
"and I'm gonna beat your ass if you don't start telling the truth."
South Park
"They've really gotten good at this good cop/bad cop thing."
South Park
"You're going down, Butters! You hear me?"
South Park
"You're a worthless two-dollar criminal, and you're lying!"
South Park
"I don't have nothing to confess. Honestly!"
South Park
"Fine. Then you won't mind giving us a semen sample."
South Park
"and put it in this cup."
South Park
"How do I make semen come out of my body?"
South Park
"- Stop playing games! - I'm not playing, I really don't know!"
South Park
"That does it. Wait right here."
South Park
"How do you make semen come out?"
South Park
"to pull and masterbernate your wiener really fast."
South Park
"- No. - Follow me to the bathroom."
South Park
"- My wiener? - Yes, retard,"
South Park
"semen comes from your wiener. Now do it."
South Park
"- Well, Butters? - I'm pulling on my wiener,"
South Park
"- but nothing's happening. - Well, pull harder!"
South Park
"- No, nothing. - Butters, do you wanna go to jail"
South Park
"- for the rest of your life? - No!"
South Park
"Then you better get that semen sample no matter how long it takes."
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"Cartman! Cartman!"
South Park
"We just got a tip that a doll was found near Fosse's house!"
South Park
"Let's go!"
South Park
"Okay, Ms. Jones, me and Dr. Flick here just need to check your vagina."
South Park
"- That's gay. - Yeah, that's gay."
South Park
"Kyle!"
South Park
"They have Sarah Peterson's doll, you stupid Jew."
South Park
"- Who is it? - South Park Junior Detectives."
South Park
"You're gay."
South Park
"- What do we do now? - I don't know."
South Park
"Well, if they're not gonna give us back the doll, then we have no choice."
South Park
"- Let's go tell on them. - Dude! We can't just tell on them!"
South Park
"- Why not? - Because, dude,"
South Park
"Hey, Detectives!"
South Park
"If you don't get out of here, we're gonna rip the doll's head off!"
South Park
"Yeah!"
South Park
"We were playing gynaecologist and now we're playing criminals!"
South Park
"- Yeah, that's gay. - We're gay."
South Park
"- Jesus, they're gonna kill her! - We've got to do something!"
South Park
"Attention! You, in the house! This is Agent Tucker with the FBI."
South Park
"We have you surrounded, sort of."
South Park
"And you did a great job leading us here. Now you just stay out of our way!"
South Park
"The gig is up, Fosse! Bring out the doll, or we'll tell on you!"
South Park
"- No, you're not. - Damn it, man."
South Park
"This is not the time for negotiations."
South Park
"There's a little doll in there about to have her head twisted off."
South Park
"Climb off, kid. We say you can't charge the front door,"
South Park
"- doesn't make you better than us. - Yes, it does so."
South Park
"That's right. But they didn't say anything about going in the back."
South Park
"All right, guys, you don't wanna hurt that doll."
South Park
"I got you, Fosse!"
South Park
"No, 'cause I got special wizard armour on."
South Park
"We're not playing dungeons and dragons, ass face!"
South Park
"All right, that does it! Cover me! I'm going slow-mo!"
South Park
"- We're dead. - That's gay."
South Park
"- Miss Peterson, is your daughter home? - My dolly!"
South Park
"We got her back safe. Lost a lot of good men in the process."
South Park
"Well, you boys are little heroes. I'm going to call the police department"
South Park
"and let them know what brave little detectives you are!"
South Park
"I'm Lieutenant Dawson with the Park County police."
South Park
"Well, that's fantastic, kids. And for all your terrific sleuth solving,"
South Park
"I am hereby making you all junior detectives."
South Park
"- Wow! - Awesome!"
South Park
"That means you boys are now an official part of the department."
South Park
"Cool!"
South Park
"Okay. There's a meth lab down at 567 Mala Vista."
South Park
"The operators are probably armed to the hilt with illegal weapons."
South Park
"I want you to get down there and see what you can find."
South Park
"- A meth lab? - I don't want any problems."
South Park
"Just take 'em down by the books. Now get over there!"
South Park
"The Mayor's all over my ass on this one."
South Park
"and I'll have you working graveyard shift behind a desk."
South Park
"Move it!"
South Park
"- What is a meth lab, anyway? - I don't know. Let's just hurry up."
South Park
"I wanna get home in time to watch Crime Drama."
South Park
"Oh, crap, did you guys do your math homework?"
South Park
"Dude, I totally spaced it."
South Park
"Take that, pigs!"
South Park
"You wanna die, huh?"
South Park
"So long, coppers."
South Park
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