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Clips from Let's Go to Prison (2006)

going down to the Iaundry room,

"going down to the Iaundry room,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

We never go out anymore.

"We never go out anymore."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

And with the revolving-door policy of today's prison system,

"And with the revolving-door policy of today's prison system,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

They pissed in my food?

"They pissed in my food?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Couldn't have made it in here without your help.

"Couldn't have made it in here without your help."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

and I know you had a real tough day.

"and I know you had a real tough day."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

without that friend thinking

"without that friend thinking"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I've been Iooking out for you for almost a year now,

"I've been Iooking out for you for almost a year now,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Well, screw you, pal.

"Well, screw you, pal."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I'm sorry, John.

"I'm sorry, John."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

It has.

"It has."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

That's it. Get it all. Go for it.

"That's it. Get it all. Go for it."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

We got to put his new face on.

"We got to put his new face on."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Wake up, Biederman. Parole board's waiting.

"Wake up, Biederman. Parole board's waiting."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Prison's made me a new man.

"Prison's made me a new man."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

One, they're gonna file his early release form

"One, they're gonna file his early release form"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Now hear me out on this one, all right?

"Now hear me out on this one, all right?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Listen, you got to sandbag your first parole hearing, because...

"Listen, you got to sandbag your first parole hearing, because..."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

The man who made me who I am today.

"The man who made me who I am today."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

The same man who's going to kill you right now.

"The same man who's going to kill you right now."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

The word you want is ironic!

"The word you want is ironic!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(SCREAMS)

"(SCREAMS)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

AII right, cut the shit! Get up, you mothers. Get up, get up now!

"AII right, cut the shit! Get up, you mothers. Get up, get up now!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Get him up against the wall! Go, go, go!

"Get him up against the wall! Go, go, go!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You two pussies gonna have a cage match

"You two pussies gonna have a cage match"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Wow, that's selfish.

"Wow, that's selfish."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I schedule the extra-curricular activities.

"I schedule the extra-curricular activities."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I need some time to get some action going.

"I need some time to get some action going."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

What do I win if I win?

"What do I win if I win?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

can warp a law-abiding, spineless sack of shit like Biederman

"can warp a law-abiding, spineless sack of shit like Biederman"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

into a totally violent, psychopathic and lethal sack of shit,

"into a totally violent, psychopathic and lethal sack of shit,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

GUARD: Brain damage? I don't know,

"GUARD: Brain damage? I don't know,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You gotta ask Shanahan, He's taking the bets,

"You gotta ask Shanahan, He's taking the bets,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Damn, you can cover all that action?

"Damn, you can cover all that action?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Parole board say I seem Iike a new man.

"Parole board say I seem Iike a new man."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

It had better be a body bag for two, goddamn it,

"It had better be a body bag for two, goddamn it,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Family...

"Family..."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Damn it.

"Damn it."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

He doesn't have an appointment,

"He doesn't have an appointment,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

NELSON: Hello, Duane,

"NELSON: Hello, Duane,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

of the Foundation over to my son

"of the Foundation over to my son"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

and, in accordance with the Foundation's charter,

"and, in accordance with the Foundation's charter,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Oh, I adopted a young man I met in prison, He's out now,

"Oh, I adopted a young man I met in prison, He's out now,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Everything's nice and legal, Duane,

"Everything's nice and legal, Duane,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I'm just tugging your nuts.

"I'm just tugging your nuts."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Laotian-style. Yeah?

"Laotian-style. Yeah?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(SCREAMING)

"(SCREAMING)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

They got a shit Ioad in the workroom.

"They got a shit Ioad in the workroom."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You know, you taught me a Iot of things, John.

"You know, you taught me a Iot of things, John."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Dead.

"Dead."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Well, money can't fix a broken heart.

"Well, money can't fix a broken heart."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Okay. Well, it's $8 million.

"Okay. Well, it's $8 million."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

It won't kill you, my friend,

"It won't kill you, my friend,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

More of a coma, really. Up to three days.

"More of a coma, really. Up to three days."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Trust me, that'II do the trick.

"Trust me, that'II do the trick."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

AII right.

"AII right."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Let's go. Hey, wait a minute now. Deal's a deal.

"Let's go. Hey, wait a minute now. Deal's a deal."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

The difference is I kill the winner. It'II be quick.

"The difference is I kill the winner. It'II be quick."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Yeah. Trust me, that'II do the trick.

"Yeah. Trust me, that'II do the trick."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Thanks, amigo,

"Thanks, amigo,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(GRUNTS)

"(GRUNTS)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I got to drop a deuce like no one's business.

"I got to drop a deuce like no one's business."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

We're even. AII right?

"We're even. AII right?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

JOHN: You know, there aren't a shit load of prison stories

"JOHN: You know, there aren't a shit load of prison stories"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

you'd wanna tell your grandkids,

"you'd wanna tell your grandkids,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(SIGHS)

"(SIGHS)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

NELSON: Well, Barry and I

"NELSON: Well, Barry and I"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

That first sniff unlocks the door.

"That first sniff unlocks the door."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Oh, and that second sniff invites you in, sits you down,

"Oh, and that second sniff invites you in, sits you down,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

and gives you a foot massage.

"and gives you a foot massage."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

What is it that I detect?

"What is it that I detect?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You haven't even tasted it yet. Precisely.

"You haven't even tasted it yet. Precisely."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Ken Kennedy, head vintner.

"Ken Kennedy, head vintner."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

you're gonna score Baby Duck wine 100 out of 100

"you're gonna score Baby Duck wine 100 out of 100"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Do you hear that? BARRY: Drink up, bitches.

"Do you hear that? BARRY: Drink up, bitches."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(MOVE THIS PLAYING)

"(MOVE THIS PLAYING)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Shake that body for me, Johnny.

"Shake that body for me, Johnny."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Don't you ever wonder if there's more to Iife than smoking grass

"Don't you ever wonder if there's more to Iife than smoking grass"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I got some coke.

"I got some coke."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Hey. You John?

"Hey. You John?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

We're here to buy some pot.

"We're here to buy some pot."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Yeah, my friend said you'd hook us up.

"Yeah, my friend said you'd hook us up."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

JOHN: Any felon worth his salt

"JOHN: Any felon worth his salt"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

can smell undercover cops from 20 paces,

"can smell undercover cops from 20 paces,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You guys should probably take off.

"You guys should probably take off."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You didn't buy that whole Cheech and Chong routine, did you?

"You didn't buy that whole Cheech and Chong routine, did you?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(BANGING ON DOOR)

"(BANGING ON DOOR)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I can't believe they fell for the Cheech and Chong bit.

"I can't believe they fell for the Cheech and Chong bit."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

OFFICER: Police! Open up!

"OFFICER: Police! Open up!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

and I'll make sure he gets the full treatment,

"and I'll make sure he gets the full treatment,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Save it, Lyshitski.

"Save it, Lyshitski."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

How does seven-to-ten work for you?

"How does seven-to-ten work for you?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Not as good as one-to-three.

"Not as good as one-to-three."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I'II settle for three-to-five, but wait. There's more.

"I'II settle for three-to-five, but wait. There's more."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You actually want to go to Rossmore Penitentiary? Why?

"You actually want to go to Rossmore Penitentiary? Why?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Nelson Biederman IV.

"Nelson Biederman IV."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Where you heading?

"Where you heading?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Me, too.

"Me, too."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Tell you what, we should be cellmates.

"Tell you what, we should be cellmates."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I don't snore and I'm a pretty quiet masturbator.

"I don't snore and I'm a pretty quiet masturbator."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Hell, I'II even give you the top bunk.

"Hell, I'II even give you the top bunk."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Thanks for talking to me.

"Thanks for talking to me."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Last couple days in the holding cell,

"Last couple days in the holding cell,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

some of these gang members

"some of these gang members"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

were really giving me the cold shoulder.

"were really giving me the cold shoulder."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

It's inexcusable.

"It's inexcusable."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

That's what I thought.

"That's what I thought."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I mean, why be that way?

"I mean, why be that way?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

WARDEN: Welcome to your new home.

"WARDEN: Welcome to your new home."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You'II be free to go.

"You'II be free to go."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You gonna be my bitch up in here!

"You gonna be my bitch up in here!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(GRUNTS)

"(GRUNTS)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

That was my Iittle joke.

"That was my Iittle joke."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I have a notoriously dry sense of humor.

"I have a notoriously dry sense of humor."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

AII right. Here's how it's gonna work.

"AII right. Here's how it's gonna work."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

If you make my Iife difficult,

"If you make my Iife difficult,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I will make your Iife exponentially more painful.

"I will make your Iife exponentially more painful."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

If you have a complaint,

"If you have a complaint,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

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