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Clips from Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# There's a place I know, come along with me

"# There's a place I know, come along with me"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Now, ain't that a hoot?

"# Now, ain't that a hoot?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Might get lucky, might get some date

"# Might get lucky, might get some date"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Ain't talking hoops when I say man-on-man

"# Ain't talking hoops when I say man-on-man"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Let's go to prison

"# Let's go to prison"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Yeah

"# Yeah"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Snitch gives you up to the screws

"# Snitch gives you up to the screws"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# They'll throw you a Bible to save your soul

"# They'll throw you a Bible to save your soul"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Doing a nickel

"# Doing a nickel"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# Just have a good time

"# Just have a good time"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

# It's called prison

"# It's called prison"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

That's a little larger than the population of Houston,

"That's a little larger than the population of Houston,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(ALL CHEERING)

"(ALL CHEERING)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

born in prison to fill 250 Little League teams

"born in prison to fill 250 Little League teams"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Can you picture that?

"Can you picture that?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Three stadiums full of people raping each other?

"Three stadiums full of people raping each other?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

My name's John Lyshitski, I just got out of prison,

"My name's John Lyshitski, I just got out of prison,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Yeah. That's more Iike it.

"Yeah. That's more Iike it."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

If I had a nickel for every time I've been incarcerated,

"If I had a nickel for every time I've been incarcerated,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Thought there'd be a million bucks inside,

"Thought there'd be a million bucks inside,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Where's the check? Where's the check?

"Where's the check? Where's the check?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

That was the first time I met Judge Nelson Biederman,

"That was the first time I met Judge Nelson Biederman,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

who changed my life with the magic word,

"who changed my life with the magic word,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

the reason we have all these Iaws and rules to Iive by

"the reason we have all these Iaws and rules to Iive by"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

from worthless scum Iike you.

"from worthless scum Iike you."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

JOHN: And with that, Judge Biederman

"JOHN: And with that, Judge Biederman"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Hey!

"Hey!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

The next time you steal a car, Mr. Lyshitski,

"The next time you steal a car, Mr. Lyshitski,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(LAUGHING)

"(LAUGHING)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I'm calling from the Chicago Tribune,

"I'm calling from the Chicago Tribune,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

So could you tell us which times this week that he will be on the bench?

"So could you tell us which times this week that he will be on the bench?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Uh-huh.

"Uh-huh."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Who's got a six-Ietter synonym for deprived of?

"Who's got a six-Ietter synonym for deprived of?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Anybody want to buy me a champagne drink?

"Anybody want to buy me a champagne drink?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

How about a fancy beer?

"How about a fancy beer?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Nelson Biederman the IVth,

"Nelson Biederman the IVth,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Well, look out, Nelly, You're about to meet

"Well, look out, Nelly, You're about to meet"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

the other man your father helped raise,

"the other man your father helped raise,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

BARKER: Crimes are everywhere,

"BARKER: Crimes are everywhere,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Well, why the hell do I have to be here if you don't?

"Well, why the hell do I have to be here if you don't?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Yeah, I know he was my father.

"Yeah, I know he was my father."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Thanks for the fucking newsflash.

"Thanks for the fucking newsflash."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

JOHN: Hello, Nelly.

"JOHN: Hello, Nelly."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Nelson Biederman IV,

"Nelson Biederman IV,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

A lot of people didn't think that this neighborhood needed

"A lot of people didn't think that this neighborhood needed"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Excuse me, who? Sergeant Barker,

"Excuse me, who? Sergeant Barker,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Yes, sir.

"Yes, sir."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(MOVE THIS PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)

"(MOVE THIS PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

"(TIRES SCREECHING)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(GASPING)

"(GASPING)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

PHARMACIST: We have no money.

"PHARMACIST: We have no money."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

that they are a bunch of dipshits,

"that they are a bunch of dipshits,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Well, apparently, the police have a videotape of you committing the crime.

"Well, apparently, the police have a videotape of you committing the crime."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

better strap on a goddamn piss-bag,

"better strap on a goddamn piss-bag,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

He owes us one.

"He owes us one."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

State of Illinois v, Nelson Perth Biederman IV,

"State of Illinois v, Nelson Perth Biederman IV,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Just tell her what you think?

"Just tell her what you think?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Just tell her what you think.

"Just tell her what you think."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Off the record, you knew my father.

"Off the record, you knew my father."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

as quickly as possible?

"as quickly as possible?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

but it's because people Iike you make me sick

"but it's because people Iike you make me sick"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

See the thumb goes away, comes back.

"See the thumb goes away, comes back."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Oh, yeah?

"Oh, yeah?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You may proceed with your defense.

"You may proceed with your defense."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Watch this.

"Watch this."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

never actually been attacked by dinosaurs.

"never actually been attacked by dinosaurs."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(LAUGHING)

"(LAUGHING)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

We, the jury, find the defendant, Nelson Biederman,

"We, the jury, find the defendant, Nelson Biederman,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Nelson Biederman, you've been found guilty of felony assault.

"Nelson Biederman, you've been found guilty of felony assault."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I sentence you to three to five years

"I sentence you to three to five years"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Fuck. Fuck.

"Fuck. Fuck."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

NELSON: Fuck!

"NELSON: Fuck!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

JOHN: Nelson Biederman IV

"JOHN: Nelson Biederman IV"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

So why am I not happy?

"So why am I not happy?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

"(KNOCK ON DOOR)"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

My friend Ben Franklin?

"My friend Ben Franklin?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

and there's no way in hell he'd do something crazy like sell pot to them,

"and there's no way in hell he'd do something crazy like sell pot to them,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Unless he actually wanted to go to jail,

"Unless he actually wanted to go to jail,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

What for?

"What for?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Those two clowns I just sold grass to are cops.

"Those two clowns I just sold grass to are cops."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Come on, John!

"Come on, John!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

JOHN: I guess sometimes when fate knocks on your door,

"JOHN: I guess sometimes when fate knocks on your door,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

it has a search warrant,

"it has a search warrant,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Guilty as hell. Guilty?

"Guilty as hell. Guilty?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Now if we could discuss sentencing?

"Now if we could discuss sentencing?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Hey. John Lyshitski.

"Hey. John Lyshitski."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Let me start off by saying that if any one of you is innocent,

"Let me start off by saying that if any one of you is innocent,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

just raise your hand.

"just raise your hand."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

MAN 1: Come on, baby! You gonna be mine!

"MAN 1: Come on, baby! You gonna be mine!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

MAN 2: Yeah!

"MAN 2: Yeah!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

MAN 3: Give me some brown sugar! Tell them how we do it, boy!

"MAN 3: Give me some brown sugar! Tell them how we do it, boy!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

in pulling your cheeks apart

"in pulling your cheeks apart"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Cell 433. I want you to sign right there.

"Cell 433. I want you to sign right there."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Hello, Johnny. How you doing?

"Hello, Johnny. How you doing?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(CHUCKLING) Rooney. No glasses. You got the surgery.

"(CHUCKLING) Rooney. No glasses. You got the surgery."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

One Metallica t-shirt, Master of Puppets,

"One Metallica t-shirt, Master of Puppets,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

I'd Iike to room with Biederman.

"I'd Iike to room with Biederman."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Empty. Cell number 433.

"Empty. Cell number 433."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Sign right there.

"Sign right there."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

threw me into a cell with the esteemed Nelson Biederman IV,

"threw me into a cell with the esteemed Nelson Biederman IV,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Today is the first day of the rest of my beautiful life,

"Today is the first day of the rest of my beautiful life,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

MAN 1 : Dead man rolling! MAN 2: Dead man rolling!

"MAN 1 : Dead man rolling! MAN 2: Dead man rolling!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

(SOBBING) No.

"(SOBBING) No."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Crying takes the sad out of you.

"Crying takes the sad out of you."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

The softer you are, the more it's gonna grind you up,

"The softer you are, the more it's gonna grind you up,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

AII right, you gotta toughen up.

"AII right, you gotta toughen up."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

He got to take a shit or something?

"He got to take a shit or something?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

JOHN: No, he's trying to Iook Iike bad meat. Yeah.

"JOHN: No, he's trying to Iook Iike bad meat. Yeah."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Okay.

"Okay."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

MAN 5: Well, we got to you.

"MAN 5: Well, we got to you."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Yeah. This is what they were referring to.

"Yeah. This is what they were referring to."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

MAN 6: Cállate la boca!

"MAN 6: Cállate la boca!"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

That's $28 billion a year,

"That's $28 billion a year,"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

What's on the menu today, good sir?

"What's on the menu today, good sir?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Ain't meat.

"Ain't meat."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Hit me with some meat.

"Hit me with some meat."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

You know, 20% of all prisoners aren't even US citizens?

"You know, 20% of all prisoners aren't even US citizens?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

See those bad asses over there?

"See those bad asses over there?"

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Lynard. Don't be fooled, though.

"Lynard. Don't be fooled, though."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

Underneath all those swastikas he's a real prick.

"Underneath all those swastikas he's a real prick."

Let's Go to Prison (2006)

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